


You Promised You Would Grow Old With Me.

by julietlovestory



Category: Voltron: Defender of the Universe (1984), Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, But also klangst, But happy?!, Established Relationship, Everything will be okay in the end (:, I promise, Its sad but you will laugh, Keith is in love, Lance gets sick, Large fic, M/M, Sick Character, The Universe is testing them, The whole team is looking for a cure, They are the Best Couple, Trust the smiley face, its just keep getting longer, klance, like a lot, shallura - Freeform, you are gonna cry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-02-15 23:49:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 80,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13042095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julietlovestory/pseuds/julietlovestory
Summary: "Sick?" Keith said, as if not comprehending the words, "What do you mean he's sick?"Keith remembers, quite clearly, with unwise and painfully accuracy, the day everything he cared and loved in this world was taken away from him. It still haunts him, years later. Even if in that moment he couldn’t quite process it… he remembers.Lance gets sick in space, and the whole team will look for a cure, tear the universe apart, to keep the Blue Paladin breathing.





	1. BEFORE

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY!  
> Hi guys!! I have a lot of feelings lately. Namely KLANCE FEELINGS, so much that it’s not healthy so this fic was written to keep me sane.  
> Okay so first (1) This is going to be a long fic. Long. Although, heavily condensed in only three chapters. No more. You’ll see why.  
> (2) This is going to be a very very very angsty fic, there’s going so much heartbreaking you are going to cry (3)but there’s also going to be so much fluff you might cry about that too.  
> (4!!) Keith is in love. That’s it. He’s in love so you get ready to see Keith in love, alright? Because it’s amazing and we don’t get to see much of it.  
> And (5) Lance doesn’t die. I promise. But he… kinds of does (?)  
> That being said! Enjoy! Grab a cup of tea or hot chocolate and tissues, see you at the end!
> 
> Songs that inspired this wreck:  
> Saturn- by Sleeping at Last.  
> You said you would grow out with me- Michael Schulte  
> Dandellions-Ruth B.  
> Inner Demons-Julia Brennan.

**2520**

**(Two thousand, five hundred and twenty)**

Keith remembers, quite clearly, with unwise and painfully accuracy, the day everything he cared and loved in this world was taken away from him. It still haunts him, years later. Even if in that moment he couldn’t quite process it… he remembers.

He stills sees those blue eyes when he sleeps, he still hears his laughter ringing at the corners of the rooms, he can still feel his hands against his cheeks, his lips against his own. He still can picture his twisted grin when everything that ever mattered stepped into a cryo-pod… to never leave again.

He remembers, quite clearly, when Lance got sick.

And at first, as he has already stated, he didn’t process it, he didn’t read the signals. No one did. No one even knew something like that could happen. No one saw it coming. Not even Lance.

They all wonder what could’ve they done if they had seen all the little ways in which Lance was changing… if they would’ve reacted sooner, would he be here?

If they had never landed on that stupid planet, Phelious 114, would he still be there? Probably. Because then maybe Lance’s genetics would have _never_ meddled and mixed with the new environment and maybe… just maybe… he wouldn’t have gotten sick.

If he had done it, if he had linked the subtle dots before it was too late… if they had gone to the Olkary and ask for help… if they had placed him inside a cryo-pod sooner? If they had left two days earlier to N’öliv, would that have changed anything? Would that had made the difference?

Keith didn’t know, and that’s the way it was going to be. It was madness to think differently, he knew this. He _knew_ and yet…

Keith slowly turned his eyes to the time counting in the cryo-pod and his eyes watered at the white ticking numbers staring back.

He averted his eyes quickly and raised his head, hair tucked in a low ponytail as he stares at the boy in the pod with reverence, the Red Paladin raises a hand and softly caress the glass as if that one motion could reach the brown and once warm skin behind it.

_Beep, beep, beep._

It was calming, to hear Lance’s heartbeat somehow, he would go crazy if he couldn’t.

Keith took a breath, voice firm but warm, “We have news today… the Olkary’s investigations have finally given us some leads, they are starting a new process of medication now, Pidge is already down there, she’s really excited. She thinks this might be it.”

Silence, because in the past Keith had let his hopes up and down so many times it physically hurt him, but he still keeps hope somewhere gently tucked just behind his ribcage near his heart.

“I—I just wanted to see you before departing, I’ll be back before sunset though, Coran is landing the ship in a few hours so we’ll be able to watch it together from the castle,”

Silence. Just the steady and comforting beat of Lance’s heart on the monitor. Beeping.

Some days are easier than others, today though it’s not one of those days.

Keith takes another shaky breath willing his heart to just stop stuttering so painfully against his chest, hand curling against the glass, pressing so hard it hurt his knuckles. Whispering so low he can’t even hear himself he speaks,“I love you, you know? I promise.”

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Every day, without fault, unless he was on a mission, Keith comes to this room to stare at Lance McClain, twenty-one years old, frozen in time.  Keith stares a second longer, as always, searching for any indication Lance had heard him… or that Lance was there at all.

And as always nothing happens. It wouldn’t happen. He knows this, his mind knows this but his heart always aches, thinking and praying that with just his own stubbornness and power of will he could fix Lance and bring him back.

But he was a realist, and unless they figure out a way to bring him back, Lance would be there… waiting. Always waiting.

And Keith would rather die before not seeing those eyes again.

That’s the thought that keeps him going. That’s the thought that keeps him alive if not sane, the only reason he finds strength on getting up every morning. Keith would find a cure. He promised.

Keith blinks the tears away stubbornly and after another glance at the ticking numbers on Lance’s healing pod, he leaves the room, ready to get inside Red and go down with the Olkary.

Today might be the day.

-345

(Minus three hundred and forty-five)

It all started when Lance, his stupid, annoying as fuck boyfriend, fiancé, and partner, had volunteered to go and meet the emperor of planet Phelious 114. Team Voltron was busy, as usual, even more so since the battle against Zarkon was thickening and finding lazy days were further and further away.

Finding the time to bring the coalition together was getting harder and harder when they were fighting on so many fronts in so many solar systems.

The rest of the paladins were already busy and booked for at least a few quintants, Allura and Shiro had a meeting with the Blade in the secret base where Slav was hiding, they were getting closer to a plan to defeat the Garla Empire and they wanted to share their advances on those plans with the Black Paladin and Allura, they could not postpone it.

Hunk and Pidge were in the middle of a quest themselves, they were in charge of finding the mechanical parts needed to repair the castle that suffered from heavy damage from their last ordeal with the Galra.

Keith was in charge of another Blade of Marmora mission and was due to leave the moment he was available. Keith, after discovering he was part Galra, had joined the Blade of Marmora for training and the occasional missions, however, he had never allied himself with them indefinitely, he understood his place in Voltron was more important once Lance showed him what the value of their space family was, however, he did become the Blade of Marmora primary contact, so whenever they needed someone with the stealth and skills of Keith—(“I bet it’s because you are short, Samurai, you fit in tiny bity places!”) they called him in.

Lance was supposed to go along with Shiro and Allura, after all, he had officially become Voltron’s Golden ambassador—Coran even trained him, with his charm, skills and intelligence, Lance had managed to get them out of many tricky situations, after all—but after hearing that the leader of Phelious 114 had requested an important meeting—a meeting that team Voltron had been postponing for almost four quintants—Lance volunteered to go in the name of Team Voltron, at least just to appease their ally, after all, _they were_ part of the coalition and their almost infinite supply of food had been an important part of the revolution process, it was thanks to them and a few other planets, that the entire coalition was able to eat and survive in space. (Besides Hunk was able to cook delicious food now, okay? And Lance was really grateful for that).

So, everything was quickly decided: Lance would go to the meeting, Keith to his mission, and Space Parents would go and visit the secret base where Slav was working—Shiro had not even left and was already complaining.

Lance kissed Keith goodbye, Keith rolled his eyes but did promise to take care of himself, and Allura and Shiro watched them go. Routine.

No one thought much of it.

Lance came back after three days, with more treaties and promises to help Voltron along  with a seamless political correlation with Räyhir, the leader of Phelious 114, who had been very pleased to meet one of the paladins of Voltron at the very least.

Keith returned two days after Lance with a few new more bruises than good news but nothing that Lance couldn’t kiss better. Pidge and Hunk had found the pieces needed to fix the castle and once the four paladins were together Coran had guided them through the lengthy process of helping him with the reparations.

Shiro and Allura returned with good news somewhere in the middle of them; Slav might have found a way to defeat Zarkon, it would take time to make it happen, there were a lot of loose ends but Allura and Shiro were confident that maybe this path could lead somewhere.

No one thought things would change because of these trips.

But it did.

-302

(Minus three hundred and two)

It all had started when Lance didn’t wake up one day.

They were having a few of those rare but lazy days off where they had a few political and social events, today was in planet Breërr. They would be landing sometime after lunch, so until then they were free to do as they wished. Galra activity was low in this sector of the universe,— Voltron worked hard to keep it that way, thank you— and after having two consecutive months of dangerous missions and endless fightings Allura had granted the team a few days to rest, even if that rest involved social meetings— which Keith hated with a passion—he, like the rest of the team, didn’t object. Rest was always welcomed.

Lance, on the other hand, was ecstatic, there was a reason why he was the ambassador of Team Voltron. He _loved_ social meetings, parties, and everything that involved music, people, and dancing. Unfortunately for him, Keith loved seeing him happy and carefree, something Lance couldn’t be as often as he deserved when they were saving the universe 24/7, so he always ends up tagging along by principle, grumbling under his breath the entire time how much he hated these political meetings since _he is not good at this, damn it_. On the other hand, there was also the fact that 100% out of the times they are together in a party Lance will ask him to dance. There’s _also_ the fact that 110% of those times Keith would find himself blushing and rolling his eyes but saying yes even against his will. Even if he knew he would step into Lance’s feet he still said yes because he was a weak man, alright? And his boyfriend was a good dancer and… yeah you get the picture.

And Keith had improved, okay? But he stills steps in Lance’s toes occasionally and the bastard has the audacity to laugh at his face every time he does, and as much as Keith grumbles and shoves him in embarrassment he can’t help but laugh along with him.

Keith, you see, has long ago surrendered to the fact that he was in love with Lance McClain. His life became one hundred percent easier once he accepted this fact and at the same time one thousand percent more unbearable because of that same reason. He was in love with Lance McClain _and he knew this._ He wasn’t in denial. He wasn’t oblivious. It wasn’t a stupid rivalry anymore

He knew this now, and he embraced it, and he was done for—and he hated it.

He knew this with the same accuracy he knew the sky on Earth is blue and that the ocean is vast, like the stars shine and die and that their light carries on even after their death. The same way he knew that space is infinite, so was this knowledge. He knew it and he felt it in his bones.

This feeling was intangible, imperceptible almost, as it crept on him slowly, foreign and new, sometimes elusive until Keith welcomed whatever this was inside his life, welcomed the way he felt when Lance laughed and how worried he was when he was quiet. And then, it was like this feeling had taken eternal residence somewhere in his chest, and then he knew what this was, he knew it like the way he knew the back of his hand, the same way he knew the exact color Lance’s eyes will shine when the sun reflects in them, and the way he can recognize Lance in less than seven seconds in any crowd.

Pidge had tested this, so far it’s a record he stills upholds.

So Keith _knew,_ okay? He knew deep in his heart and soul that he was and always will be in love with the Cuban boy.

And it was terrifying.

And it was exhilarating.

And it was the worst and the best thing to ever happen to him.

He realized this changing, monumental, _almost traumatic_ fact waaaaay before Lance realized his own feelings, and if you ask Keith it had been slow and pure torture as it best. Marmora training? Nothing compared to being in the same room as Lance. Torture in the hands of Galra? A walk in the park when Lance and Keith were forced to train hand-to-hand combat, so close Keith could see every changing color in Lance’s eyes, _and God does the universe hate him or something?_

It was painfully, almost impossible, to be around Lance _just hoping._ And Keith’s is not a believer but God did he hope. Sometimes he would find himself praying to a nonexistent God, some others he would send a silent prayer to the universe because Keith thought he would never have this, he honestly thought that the unique friendship he had with Lance was the only way he would ever be able to be _with_ Lance, and at one moment in time he had been happy with this knowledge, he had accepted it even.

Keith and Lance. Neck and Neck. And that would be it. And maybe that’s the way it was supposed to be, maybe he was meant to just stare from afar at the bright light that was Lance until he went blind. He was happy just by having Lance in his life, as stupid as that sounds it was true. Lance made his life better _just by being in it_. So it _was_ torture, sometimes it was frustrating but he enjoyed it; every time Lance would seek him to tell him a joke or to make fun of him, to dare him on a race or to invite him to movie night.  Keith endured it all.

But faith smiled down at him, Pidge used to joke he must have done something right in his past life and she probably was right, because after so much suffering for over eighteen years, after losing his parents, and losing Shiro _twice_ , and after all the bullshit he had gone through, The Universe finally allowed him to have _this one little thing_ that changed Keith’s entire life in a thousand new ways every day.

Because Lance loved him back.

And the day he found that was the best day in Keith’s life, probably ranking in the same place where he found Shiro alive on Earth, and when Red chose Keith as her paladin. Because when the Red and Blue paladin were finally able to meet each other in the middle, once it was all laid in the open, once it was all said and done Keith could’ve cried, he thinks he did at some point because… because Lance loved him. And wasn’t that crazy?

It was a miracle in and of itself.

He became a firm believer of The Universe and its doings after that.

And their relationship did not start with how Keith started things, he didn’t drown himself in it, he didn’t go in recklessly and carelessly. Lance, on the other hand, dropped his charm and his bravado to allow Keith in, and for once the both of them just… let things flow.

And it was the best thing they had ever decided.

They took things slow, with patience and with kindness, with soft and sometimes hesitant touches, warm voices and valiant stares. Because they both cared too much to screw this up. Keith cared too much to screw this up. So the kisses at first were hesitant and holding hands didn’t come out as second nature to them at first as it was now. Keith and Lance still had their fights and quarrels, nothing ever too big that couldn’t be solved with kisses and laughs and sweet apologies, but when they _do_ fight, man, it feels monumental, and always leaves Keith feeling hollow, it crawls in his skin in all the wrong ways. But one thing Keith was never ashamed to do anymore was asking for forgiveness when it was due and Lance, bless his heart, is always ready to give in.

Accepting mistakes and forgiving each other, promising things that they intended to keep is part of growing up as a couple.

But there had been one moment where Keith wasn’t sure they would survive.

One time, a few months ago, Keith had been so incensed and focused in battle, he had lost himself into it, he had been in a two week special training with the blade, he was in the middle of it when Allura called for his help, they had been ambushed and they needed their Red Paladin. He hadn’t even managed to get close to the castle to get Red when he noticed the beam aiming at his friends.

He did not hesitate to put his life at risk, choosing to instead fly his Marmora ship into it, a one split second decision, but it would be worth it if he could protect the rest of his team. His family.

The rebels got to the beam first, however, and so they managed to power it down before Keith took any real damage. Keith was shaking after he realized what had almost happened, and surprisingly, that didn’t make it any less painful. They couldn’t form Voltron even when he managed to get to Red. And for once he didn’t want to leave Red when the battle was over.

Lance was livid. Keith had never seen him like that before, he had barged into his room the second Shiro had left. He was saying something between Spanish and English,  too enraged to bother with translations, but Keith understood enough. Lance could forgive many things but Keith killing himself was not one of them, not for the sake _of anybody,_ not even him. They almost broke up that night, it was one of those fights that tear at you the more it goes on. They shouted, and screamed, and cried, and Keith thought _this is it, this is how I lose him_ , but somehow they made to the next day.

“I really hate you right now, Keith Kogane,” Lance had whispered into his hands, hiding his face because Lance couldn't even bear to see him, Keith painfully staring from the other side of the room, tears striking down both their faces, both too hurt with invisible injuries to move closer to each other and not make it worse, “But _fuck_ I’m so glad you are alive.”

And they made it through.

It took time.

Lance getting the courage to call Keith something that was not Mullet or Samurai took weeks; the first time Lance called Keith sweetheart Keith could have rivaled his own Lion’s color. It took even longer to start referring to Lance as his boyfriend without stuttering. Keith kissing Lance without feeling like he was going to combust took entire quintants. Sharing a bed took place shortly after their first year together.

Lance proposing had taken place exactly after two years and three months.

But every awkward moment and mistake had been worth it. All those years alone, waiting, hoping, hurting, had been worth it.

Because now they were here, in _their_ bed, in their bigger and nicer room and Keith was surrounded by sheets and warm and Keith thought he would die without having this but alas here they were.

So don’t blame Keith when that day, their first day off _in a long time_ , he decided to stay in bed with his fiancé, training be damned and postponed indefinitely, thank you.

Lance’s arms were weak around his middle, his breath was tickling his neck softly and the rise and fall of Lance’s chest was subtle. Keith, still sleepy, turned on his side so he could see the man he was in love with properly.

Lance was breathing evenly, beautiful blue eyes covered behind heavy eyelids, brown hair tossed in every direction and lips slightly parted, a string of saliva making its way into the pillow. Keith adjusted his breathing to go along with the tempo in Lance’s chest. Keith relished the feeling of just existing. It was something he had never even considered, how existing, _just breathing_ could be a thing. Lance showed him that. _Thought_ him that even.

Keith used to be restless; in battle, in training, in missions, and alone. Whenever he was  alone in his bed he had nightmares, he tossed around, he barely slept, his mind was always, _always reeling_ , always looking for something to do, to hit, to either fight for or fight with. He had trained himself to always be on the defensive, always ready, always striving forward.

He hated wasting time when he could better himself.

Keith found out that doing nothing _was not_ a waste of time.

He started to learn that when Lance would tug him to his room to just hug and talk, back at the beginning of their relationship. Lance would hold his hands between his while he babbled and Keith would find himself relaxing, staring at those blue eyes as he retold Keith a story about his family.

He appreciated it after a battle, where he just wanted to be alone in a training room letting his anger go after another long day of risking his life, of seeing people he loved lose a bit of their humanity, feeling guilty for not being fast enough to save everyone that needed to be saved.

Lance would instead tug him silently towards any of their rooms, he wouldn’t say anything, he would make Keith sit there and just be there. Sometimes he would hold his hand, other times he would curl around Keith and fall asleep, mumbling things into his collarbone. Sometimes they would talk in whispers, curled one around the other, kissing and hugging and tugging the other close enough to remind themselves they were alive.

A new favorite hobbie came out of this too. And that’s when they got the chance of touring the different cities they visited among the universe. Keith was never one to explore, he hated social meetings, as it was established, so going out of his way to explore cities was never his priority, even though he would always be kind towards other alien species he always felt out of his deep trying to socialize with people that saw him as a hero, who worshipped him when Keith felt as a failure every time he had to accept Zarkon was still out there ruling, _undefeated_.

So unless he was required to do something he would rather enjoy his room and get some hours of needed sleep, sometimes he would wander around the whatever castle, or mansion, or ship they were in along with Pidge, who hated socializing just as much as he did, but usually, he kept to himself.

Lance, on the other hand, was an adventurer, and once the Cuban boy got ‘boyfriends rights’ over Keith, the brunette wouldn’t hesitate to take Keith along with him on his many adventures.

Keith realized he loved touring cities.

The architecture, the people, the food, the culture, everything was exciting because Lance found it exciting. Soon Keith started expecting these little escapades.

It was on one of this little escapades, as they watched the sunset, that Keith proposed, Lance had scoffed softly, incredibly affronted.

“I proposed first!! On space! Like _months ago_!” Lance said stomping his foot half-heartedly, but a light smile was adorning his face. He smiled even brighter when Keith just repeated his words, looking straight into the bluest eyes he had ever seen. Lance just nodded at Keith— who had not kneeled on the ground, mind you— he had just taken Lance’s hands between his and had said those words in a whisper only for Lance to hear; that he wanted Lance forever, that he wanted to see each and all sunsets with him. That he promises if Lance promises.

And Lance promised.

“I still don’t know why you did this when you and I are already engaged,” Lance had managed to say between kisses. Keith was having a hard time remembering how English words were supposed to work, he placed his forehead against Lance’s just to be able to breath properly for ten seconds, “You didn’t even kneel Keith!”

“Don’t give me shit, you didn’t kneel either!” Keith chuckled as he tugged Lance closer, clasping his hands on his lower back, “I wanted to know how it felt… and I just—I couldn’t help it. This is how you felt? When you proposed?”

Lance just nodded, tears escaping his eyes even against his will, harsh hands rubbing Keith’s cheeks, “Yeah, yeah exactly like this, God now I understand why you wanted to kill me, Dios, I love you.”

Keith chuckled as he kissed his nose, “It was the sunset… it did something to your eyes and I? Just…did?” _I just wished we could always have this, freeze this moment in time and live in it._ But Keith had a reputation to uphold, Red would approve.

“But because of the sunset? Really?” Lance deadpanned but his eyes betrayed how happy he was.

“Shut up, Lance.”

It became a tradition then. It had started because Lance wanted Keith to suffer as usual because “Keith, amor, look at me, in this new sunset, do you still want to marry me? Do you ‘ _Just do?_ ’”And Lance would smirk and dramatically swoon in Keith’s arms but Keith always did, and always told him. Lance still splutters. (“Jesus Keith, you can’t go around saying those things so lightly, at least do it for the sake of my weak heart!!” “We are engaged!” _“Still!!!!”)_

They would watch the sunset from the best spot they could find whenever they were on a new planet. Sometimes it would be in a beach, other times it was between tall trees in mountains with impossible colors, others in extravagant gardens or at the top of a strange building, sometimes it would just be from a window in a room.

They would sit side by side or stand close to one another, sometimes hugging, sometimes kissing, sometimes just existing. Sunsets were always quiet, filled with promises.

It was one of the many things Lance had thought him. Silence is not always bad… moving is not always good, and sometimes talking is overrated. The number of things Keith has learned in silence with Lance was probably something to be ashamed for if Keith could ever find it in himself to care.

So, again, don’t blame him for loving this human on his bed so much, alright? It was hard enough as it was.

Keith pushed Lance’s hair back softly, almost tentatively, brushing the strands off his face just to repeat the process, usually that would wake Lance up but he kept on sleeping soundly.

“Lance, hey, wake up.” He caressed Lance’s cheek this time before poking it softly, Lance just grumbled but did not move, Keith looked over his shoulder to the clock on the bedside and back again. “It’s almost time for breakfast.”

“Faivmor’ minuts.” Lance said and turned his face further into his pillow. Keith nudged him but Lance didn’t even flinch.

“Lance, c’mon.”

“Cinco minutos más, amor, please?”

Keith sighed even as he rolled his eyes, he was weak, alright? _Weak_.

“Fine, fine, I’ll get a shower first _then_ you have to get up, you hear me, McClain?” Keith removed Lance’s almost limp arms from around him and sat on the bed, staring down at him, Lance just snuggled more into the warm covers and Keith gave up, he shook his head and headed for the bathroom.

When Keith came out he was fully clothed, his damp towel over his shoulders and a grin on his face because he was ready to hit Lance with it. He was almost expecting to find Lance already by their closet probably whining while he tried to choose the perfect attire for today’s meetings; he was surprised though, when he saw that Lance was still curled on the bed, sleeping soundly as if they were not already late.

“Lance,” Keith said annoyed, as he tugged at the ends of his towel, looking down at Lance, “Wake up, idiot, it’s a day off but we arrive at Breër today, remember? We have a meeting in a few hours, we can’t oversleep today.”

Lance just grumbled, “I’m tired.”

“I know, I get it, but you have to, c’mon, sun is shining or whatever,” Keith grumbled a bit gentler this time, after a moment in which Lance didn’t move Keith just heavily sat down on the bed making Lance’s entire frame bounce. He threw his towel on Lance’s naked back and began tugging at the brunette’s hair in that annoying way Lance hated, but Lance didn’t move, not one inch, not even for a half-assed move away from Keith’s insistent tugging, not a remark on how cold the towel probably was against his back.

Keith frowned, “Lance?”

Lance just sighed when Keith instead of tugging at his hair stared carding his fingers through it, he still refused to open his eyes and Keith counted that as a loss because seeing the blue in Lance’s eyes every morning was honestly a gift to him. Again, something he will take to his grave. There were some things Lance didn’t need to know, he had enough leverage on Keith as it was.

“I’m sorry, I’m just… can I skip today?” Lance almost whined, turning his face closer to Keith’s body.

Keith sighed as he took the towel from Lance’s back and instead ran his hand up and down to keep him warm, after a moment he dropped his hand back to his lap, looking confused but slightly annoyed, “Lance, I swear to God, if this is because—“

“Keith,” Lance said quietly, opening his eyes for the first time and Keith found himself staring back, annoyance dying when he saw the tired eyes of Lance, how weak he looked, how pleading his voice was, “I’m tired.”

It had only been two words, but the way he said them rubbed at Keith in all the wrong ways, as if just saying those words were taking every bit of effort from Lance.

“Lance…, are you feeling okay? Should I call Coran?” Keith said as he placed a hand on Lance’s neck rubbing calmingly circles while the other settled on his forehead, he frowned, Lance felt normal, he wasn’t shivering or sweating, neither cold or warm, which was a relief but still Keith was intrigued, “Did something happen?”

Lance just shrugged and he smiled drowsily, snuggling closer to Keith, voice clearer but equally tired, “Nah man, just tired, it’s just one of those days I guess.”

Keith debated with himself for a few minutes; still massaging Lance’s scalp with his fingers, he watched as Lance relaxed further into the bed...

“Allura is going to yell at you for this,” Keith sighed in defeat.

Lance didn’t answer, he was asleep already.

Keith managed to keep the rest of the team out of Lance’s hair, everyone had days like those, sometimes it was just hard to get up in the morning, they were at war and sometimes some of them needed a day off from reality to compose themselves. Lance was taking his and Keith gave Lance all the space he needed to recover, Keith knew Lance needed to be alone on days like those, the same way Lance knew Keith hated being alone on his. But Keith did bring him breakfast and annoyed him to eat at least something, he went back to sleep after that.

Lance spent the whole day sleeping, he would only wake up to go to the bathroom or when Keith or someone else came to pay him an occasional visit. Hunk brought him food at lunch time, just to be sure he was indeed alright but eventually the time for the meeting arrived and even Shiro couldn’t bring him out of his room.

Instead, everyone agreed on giving Lance the whole day off.

“I’ll be back soon, Coran left some pills in the bathroom sink in case you feel like you need them, and Pidge has already programmed our space phones for long range so at least you can contact us.” Keith said as he finished with his suit and armor, locking eyes with Lance through the mirror. Lance's eyes were tired but alive, he just nodded, following Keith’s movements as he turned around to walk to the bed, smiling softly to himself when Keith made a face.

“I can’t believe Allura is making us wear this, just _where_ did she get the idea?”

Lance snorted quietly, Keith glared but Lance just smiled innocently. Keith finally picked the red cape from the end of the bed and placed it around his shoulders, letting it fall down his back before securing it below his neck with a pin, he tugged at the damned thing for a moment, walking two steps back and forth before going back to the mirror, he hummed to himself, at least he was not going to fall face first, it was the perfect length but he wasn’t sure he liked it.

He looked at Lance with a grim expression and waited for the horrible pun but it didn’t come, he raised a brow and motioned for the door, “Alright, I’m leaving, I guess?”

“You _guess?_ Have a good time, babe.” Lance waved once before he sighed, already making himself even more comfortable on the bed.

Okay, what the fuck?

“Wait, _no comment_?”

“What? Why?” Lance raised his head confused.

“I can’t— Lance McClain is actually speechless? _This is a cape_ , Lance, are you sure you are going to let me go like this? No… knights jokes _, seriously_? At this point I won’t even get mad.”

Somehow Lance being so quiet was for once incredibly mortifying for Keith.

Lance’s eyes were happy, an impish smile on his face when he shook his head, “I’m trying this thing that is called _maturity_ that you apparently are always asking from me.”

Keith chuckled as he adjusted the cape and watched the blue one still folded by the nightstand, his smile faltered, this was the perfect chance for Lance to show off and probably say a thousand jokes that would have Pidge groaning for an eternity and yet there he was, buried under blankets in their bed, “Jesus, Lance, are you sure you are alright, sweetheart?”

Lance chuckled softly, eyes twinkling for the first time that day, “ _You_ called _me, sweetheart_? Wow, I thought we were already post-honeymoon phase babe!”

“Shut up! I'm concerned, you idiot, besides we haven’t had a wedding… _yet,_ ” Keith grumbled, crossing his arms. He had been acting collected and cool, at least to not show how worried he was but something must have shown on his face because then Lance had raised his hands making grabby motions with them and Keith reacted before he could process he was moving. He crossed the room, sitting beside Lance's chest on the bed, slender warm hands between his. Keith tugged at them, placing a tender kiss on each hand, “It’s just…Lance, are you sure you are just tired… nothing else to it?”

Lance smiled softly, looking up at Keith before he untangled one hand from Keith’s hold and pressed it against Keith’s cheek. “I promise this is not depression or just a bad day, no dark thoughts lurking in my mind or—“

“Which is fine, if you have a bad day, everyone does Lance, so please, tell me if—“

“It’s not that. I promise. I honest to God I’m tired!” Lance chuckled good-naturedly and Keith knew he wouldn’t lie about this. Not to him. Not ever again.

“Even so it’s strange.” Keith mussed as he tilted his head in the direction of Lance’s hand who was stroking his chin. “You are always full of energy is so weird to see you so down? Although is comprehensible, this past week was horrible.”

Lance hummed, a sad look tampering with his smile, “I do feel horrible and it’s because I’m letting the team down. I was supposed to be at this meeting, after all, I was the one who wanted to be in this so badly, the Breërs have been great allies and had helped us several times. Had helped me, specifically. That time you got sick? They were the ones who knew what medicine to give you. I don’t think I can ever thank them enough.”

Keith shook his head, “It’s alright, even Allura said so, I’m sure they will understand.”

“I know, she came to tell me it was okay, I’m going into a healing pod if I still feel tired tomorrow though.”

“Great, I agree.”

“Alright, now go and be a good knight of Voltron and dance with some nice alien lady… or alien _lad_ , you choose, I don’t want the Breërs to think I have you on a leash or something, besides _I_ thought _you_ how to dance for a reason, so for the love of God don’t make me look like a bad teacher you hear me? I’ll ask Hunk!” Lance said as he lowered his hand from Keith’s cheek to his chest and tapped him twice, bidding him farewell.

Keith hummed as he leaned down to give Lance a peck on his lips, “Get some rest, you dumbass, I want you up and about tomorrow, and no promises about the dancing.”

“Keith!!” Lance whined. Keith dropped one final kiss on Lance’s forehead before standing up, already walking to the door picking his bayard on the way out, “Keith you have become a kinda-good-enough dancer! You won’t step on that many toes!!”

“Lance, I hate dancing!!” Keith said exasperatedly as he opened the metal door with a motion of his hand.

“What? But—you always dance with me? _Oh_ … oh, _Keith!!!”_ Lance said, and for the first time he seemed to have the energy to sit on the bed, blue eyes huge. “YOU MEAN YOU DANCE WITH ME JUST BECAUSE YOU LOVE ME?!”

“I’m leaving, take care, I’ll have my space phone with me if you need anything, bye, I hate you.” Keith said as he closed the door with a fake smile as Lance whined.

“Keith!! Are you fucking serious?!!!!”

Keith laughed the whole way to the hangar where the rest were waiting for him. Keith _did_ dance with someone, it was Pidge, so there. And then he went to a table filled to the brim with food. Hunk and him spent a solid hour deciding and picking at least twenty different kinds of pastries and dishes they thought Lance would like. Keith talked with some politicians Coran introduced him to, talked strategy with the soldiers of the planet and even said some words at the toast when Allura’s glare at the back of his neck was almost painful.

After several hours Shiro took pity on him and finally let him go back to the castle a bit after midnight.

Lance was awake and they spent the night talking while eating the pastries Keith had brought. Keith told Lance how the sunset looked in a planet with two suns. Lance promised to go back with him next time.

The next day Lance was as good as new and everything about that day was soon forgotten.

Keith just wished he had looked more into it.

-o-o-o-o-o-oo-

\- 245

(Minus two hundred forty-five)

“Lance, focus, you are losing your balance.”

That was Shiro and Lance readjusted his feet to counterattack the swing at his head that  the older man was aiming for, Lance ducked, twirled around and raised his elbow to try and hit Shiro in the face, they had been doing this dangerous dance for a few minutes now and Lance was not only growing tired but his head was hurting. Painfully so.

He does not recall being hit that badly.

Shiro blocked his elbow easily, catching it with a hand as he hit the back of Lance’s right knee, Lance grunted in pain as his knee collided with the floor, his elbow still gripped in Shiro’s tight but at the same time gentle hold. Shiro twisted his arm behind his back and soon Lance’s face and chest were introduced to the floor.

He groaned as Shiro let him go, patting softly at Lance’s back, who closed his eyes as the pain receded for a moment, “Hey, are you alright? Usually, you are good at managing to get out of a situation like this, what’s wrong?”

Lance sat up rubbing at his sore arm, he grimaced when another wave of pain attacked and choose to massage his temples instead, trying to ease out of his body whatever was going on,“I know, I know, it’s just… my mind is not focused at the moment, sorry,  Shiro.”

Shiro blinked once, twice, before shaking his head in mild amusement, “If this is because of Keith I swear…”

Lance blinked confused before turning his eyes towards the other side of the room, where he knew his fiancé and Pidge would be.

“Oh Dios mio de mi vida.”

He gulped, the pain in his head receding momentarily to give space to the sudden warmth he was feeling all over his body. Keith was fighting against Pidge and Hunk at the same time, and although that was not unusual, what was unusual was the fact that Keith, for whatever reason, was not wearing his black t-shirt, apparently forgotten and deeming it unworthy as he now fought shirtless.

Lance hummed as he absently made circles with his fingertips against his temples, the pain still lingering, “Damn, my fiancé is hot, Jesus, what the hell?”

Shiro rolled his eyes but a smirk was lighting his face, “You guys are getting married and you still behave like a teenager around him.”

Lance scoffed but he could not tear his eyes apart, “Dude, you still blush when Allura places her hand on your arm, give me a break.”

Shiro was quiet after that, raising his hands in surrender.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

-232

(Minus two hundred and thirty-two)

Lance was always on the defensive and Keith couldn’t understand _why._

Keith wasn’t sure when exactly it had started, but he has been aware for a few weeks now, at first he thought Lance was having just bad days, he would say some snappy things that would find Keith raising a brow and then a spluttering Lance apologizing because “Sorry man, sorry, it’s just… hard battle, ya know?” And Keith knew. So it would take more than just “Just shut up, Mullet” for Keith to actually feel anything but amusement, however, it soon became apparent it was something deeper than just waking up with the wrong foot.

He had given Lance his space, then he had tried to talk to him, he had even sparred with him to see if Lance would break loose and just say whatever was bothering him but so far no such luck. Shiro, Hunk, and Pidge had tried to talk to him separately just to be rudely ignored or dismissed by Lance every time.

If anything, the more time it passed Lance’s rash behaviour just seemed to worsen, at first it had only been Keith who could notice the slight slips, the little ways in which he could see Lance on edge, since he was the one that shared a room with him he was more than aware that Lance was not acting like himself but after several 'Just leave it, alright? I'm (Insert here any excuse) I'm sorry.' but soon everyone had caught up due to Lance taking his frustration _on them_ , the worse part was that sometimes he could be acting normal and all smiles, just like the Lance they knew, if anything with an under layer of discomfort that everyone in the ship has sometimes, but then, the next minute he would be snapping, rolling his eyes, always rubbing at his temples, as if just the voices of his friends were annoying.

He passive-aggressively insulted everyone; dashing out of training sessions, muting his comms when he was flying Blue when they were training, and in battle he started to be more reckless, he began skipping dinners, and it had been weeks since he had joined anyone to movie night, video games, or cooking. The whole team's dynamics broke because no one knew what had happened to Lance but everyone was suffering from it.

“Did you guys had a fight?” Shiro whispered preoccupied, Lance was impaling his lunch on his plate with enough force to make Hunk cringe, but Keith shook his head.

“If we did It’s not a fight I’m aware of,” He admitted in a low voice as Hunk offered Lance to cook something for him if he wasn’t feeling up to goo just for Lance to roll his eyes, scoff and say; “Im not a baby, Hunk.” “Didn’t say—“

“Im outta here,” And Lance had disappeared for the rest of the night. Even Allura was worried now, biting her lip as she looked at the spot he had left, Pidge was glaring at the door instead.

“What’s his problem?” But even in her anger Keith could hear the tinge of sadness in her voice. No one answered, because no one knew.

When Keith entered their room a few hours later Lance was fast asleep on his side of the bed with his back towards him.

Keith had just woken up that day and he was surprised to find out that Lance was awake too, staring intently at the ceiling with his brows scrunched together, he seemed to be deep in thought, so focused he didn’t notice that Keith was awake now too.

Keith stared at the clock over his shoulder, it was incredibly early, _even by Keith’s standards_ , so he wondered why Lance, of all people, was doing awake, he hesitated— because he found himself hesitating a lot this past month—before he turned fully on his side to stare at Lance.

The light was dim in their room, but he stared at his features in the dark, barely able to recognize Lance’s profile against the metal wall of their room, but even then he could see the hair that was sprawled in every direction, apparently Lance had been tugging it for a while now, and the darker spot on his arm where a new bruise was painted, probably from training, was glaring at Keith. He sighed imperceptibly, if Keith could take all the bruises from all his friends he would do so, especially for Lance, for a man who cared a lot about his skin, he never complains about bruises or scars. The duality of Lance still is a mystery to Keith sometimes.

Keith found himself longing, aching, because when was the last time he even _held Lance_? Let alone kiss? The bruise kept glaring at him and he found himself reaching, placing a hand on Lance’s shoulder, just above his bruise, unable to help himself but steeling himself for the outcome.

It has been a bit over a month since Keith and Lance had been together in bed and had sex, Keith had not insisted since he knew something was going on with Lance, at first he thought it was homesickness, or just the usual angriness and downright hopelessness that overcomes you when you are at war in space. Keith had tried to help, but the more Lance kept acting this harshly and enraged the more Keith felt like snapping too… and lately they had been fighting about everything and anything, fights getting out of proportion in seconds for the smallest of things. Who left the water open of the sink, who threw his shirt on the chair instead of in the basket, whose turn it was to make the bed. It was stupid. Things they never even fought for before, and yet they fought as if their lives depended on knowing with certain accuracy who had left the toothpaste uncapped. A few days ago Lance and Keith had fought so horribly Keith had gone to sleep in another room for the first time _ever_ because he couldn’t stand Lance a second longer.

He used to leave a lot in the beginning of their relationship; when he gets angry he feels the impulse to hit something, yell things, so when he was sure he was reaching his tipping point he would leave to smash some drones, he had gotten better at controlling his temper and his hands whenever he loses it. He has never hit Lance, but he was never going to risk it. Lance would come and find him later so both more calmly would talk and make peace.

Right then though, Keith was sure he was going to fucking deck him, so he had left.

Lance had later come to apologize profusely, saying he was just having a horrible day, promised to start doing something about his behavior, that he didn’t want to sleep without him there, that the room felt weird, that he felt weird but the Red Paladin was painfully aware how much they were drifting apart, how apologizing wasn’t enough anymore and he didn’t know how to _fix_ it.

It had started when he had snapped at Pidge a few days ago when he realized something must be done. Pidge was being loud, excitedly babbling and explaining some thing she had just invented, the usual way she behaves when it’s something related to science. It could be annoying to most people; however, he was entirely surprised when Lance snapped at her, effectively shutting her up mid-sentence.

 _Everyone_ had been baffled _. Lance never shouts at Pidge_ and he would _never do it_ for something like this, he loved to see Pidge babble over tech, usual high-fiving her or asking questions, so Pidge had been a little pissed about this but had shrugged and let it slide, her glare was strong anyway.

“Gee, Lance, sorry if you are having a bad day and you are pissed with Keith, don’t take it on me, you ass,” She complained before taking her tech stuff along with her, leaving Hunk and Keith speechless.

Lance asked for forgiveness hours later, explaining that he had a horrible headache and that’s why he snapped, however, he promised her he had taken some pills and was now as good as new. Pidge had glared for solid ten seconds before sighing in defeat, “Should’ve said something, you dummy,” she complained but smiled at him before shoving him slightly. Neither could stay mad with the other for long.

In exchange of her forgiveness, though, she had requested a video game night and Lance agreed instantly. And so the Garrison trio had spent the night playing video games, making stupid bets of money that they knew could never pay since Earth currency didn’t exist on space, but still they kept count.

Lance owed two millions and one hundred fifty two dollars with seven cents to Pidge so far.

Keith and Shiro had gone to the training room instead. For each their own kinds of entertainment, alright? They were ready to go and push through a new level in the strategy field, combat was something they have down, but strategy and making plans on the field is still Keith’s weakness. Allura and Coran ended up with them, teaming and making new plans and dynamics between the four of them. It had been one of the most interesting battles, for sure.

And again, everyone forgot about this.

But things like that kept on happening.

And that’s when Keith began to wonder if something was indeed wrong here.

Yesterday Lance snapped at Hunk when the Yellow Paladin miscalculated his route and timing, pushing Yellow in the middle of the fight and at the center of danger before Lance could finish his part of the plan with Blue.

Mistakes happened all the time in battle, they at least make twenty in each mission, and _yes,_ Hunk had messed up but soon they had managed to get the upper hand again. But Lance? He had been furious, he had yelled and gotten so angry Hunk had ended up apologizing over and over again before his voice grew eerily quiet and Keith knew for a fact Hunk was crying.

He was proven right when he heard the soft sniffing of Hunk through the comms.

Lance would rather die before seeing Hunk cry and Keith was furious that whatever Lance had against him, _because honestly_ why was Lance so mad? The only pausible reason was because he was mad at Keith, and Keith didn’t even know _why_. So no, whatever silent quarrel Lance had with him was not an enough reason to lash out at Hunk, so fuck him.

Keith pushed Red forwards so he could catch up with Lance, blocking his path as he opened their private channel in a tick once the battle was done and they were returning to the castle, everyone was quiet and Keith was sure they all had muted their own comms in silent agreement, unable and unwilling to keep hearing Lance like this.

“What?” Lance glared the second his image showed up, they were the last ones on the space battle field but the battle had been won and Lance _definitely_ shouldn’t be this mad. Lance harshly maneuvered Blue around, almost hitting Red in the process as he tried to get away, “Mullet, what is it? I don’t have time for this.”

Lance had dropped the “Mullet” thing for months, he only said it when he was pissed or annoyed and _boy_ he was, problem was: Keith didn’t even know why and he was done not fucking knowing.

“ _What?_ Are you serious? What the hell was that, Lance?!” Keith screamed, pushing Red so it flew above Blue, getting into Lance’s way again, “No, don’t even yell at me to let you go through, something is going on and you will tell me _, right now._ ”

“What _I_ did? Nothing! I did nothing. Hunk was being stupid, that’s what happened, he could’ve got himself killed, I told him two wait two doboshes, not two ticks, and Shiro, did you see him? The idiot _didn’t even—“_

“Are you—what _is wrong_ with you? Shiro made a mistake, big deal, Hunk did too, we all do, I did on this mission like three times and yet you have not said anything,” Keith said exasperated but face open to try and see some sense here.

Lance huffed, “Then you are a reckless brainless idiot too, look, I had a plan you just had to follow it! It was simple, Keith!!”

Keith glared as he pointed at the screen, “You are the strategist, you know we trust you and follow you, _always,_ but right now you are acting like a child that does not know that sometimes the candy you want is not what’s on store. Things like these happens all the time but this is the first time you decided to label each and all of us with different  kinds of insults, _me?_ I get it, you are fucking mad at me for probably—I don’t know, breathing maybe? You asshole? And yeah, you can be mad at me and snap at me, but the rest? What the hell, Lance? _Even Pidge_. You called her, you— _this is not like you._ Just tell me what is going on, Lance. Please. _”_

“Oh, this is me, _very_ like me, I’m just pissed off that’s it, not my fault you have never seen me like this, not my fault that every time I say something you guys never listen!! _You_ never listen!!” Lance said as he glared at Keith trough the screen, Keith couldn’t even speak _,_ stunned in silence _, what?_ Listening to Lance was literally the only thing Keith was fucking good at, what—what had been Keith missing, did something happen on their missions to get Lance like this? He just couldn’t understand and something must have showed on his face because then Lance was scoffing, “I fucking hate this you know?”

No, Keith didn’t know. Lance glared at the controls before his blue eyes rested on Keith’s but there was something there, pain mixed with anger and Keith kept quiet.

“I fucking hate space, I fucking hate it and I fucking hate having to go through all this without even _wanting_ too, I never wanted to be a Paladin of Voltron, never fucking asked for this. I ended up being the big brother of a girl who lost hers, a replacement, best friends with a guy who has fucking anxiety attacks, comrade of a guy who is barely older than me and yet commands me as if he’s better than any of us. In a castle with two aliens that somehow, seem and deem unhealthy that we don’t’ ever get to visit Earth.  I hate _this_ and I hate everything that has been born out of it.”

Keith was left speechless, staring as Lance’s face broke a little. Where had any of that come from?

“You don’t mean that,” Keith said resolutely, face firm, “You don’t mean any of this.”

“I do,” Lance said. Keith was quiet for a long time after that.

“Not that much in love now, are we, Mullet?” And before Keith could say anything Lance had turned off their private channel and pushed past him. Keith knew he could stop him, they both knew Red was faster but Keith didn’t move. He stayed in space way longer than the rest, controlling his temper while Red tried to calm him.

She kept saying something had felt off with Blue but Keith yelled that yeah, he could see that, his boyfriend was acting like an ass!! And apparently, Keith had been fucking reading Lance wrong for years because the guy he was sure he was in love with would never say something like that.

Red had not meant that, but Keith had not understood.

All he knew was that if he sees Lance right now he would probably deck him and he did not want to hurt him even if the asshole _deserved it_. When Keith finally pulled Red inside the castle he found Allura at the door of Red’s hangar. He sighed as he made his way down to her after patting Red’s console in gratitude for her words and time with him.

He noticed she was the only one waiting for him, strange, since he thought the whole team would talk to him and plan like, an intervention with Lance because this had gone long enough, he sighed, maybe Shiro had talked to him? However, once he got near he could see the faint traces of tears and the redness around Allura’s eyes and Keith literally lost it.

“What did the asshole said?” Keith asked as he came near, anger boiling again inside of him, all his cooling in space lost in a second, Allura shook her head, “ _What did he say_ , Allura, Jesus, what is wrong with him?!”

Allura shook her head again but her voice was clear, even if a blind man could see she was incredibly torn about something, “Nothing, nothing, the battle got the best of him, it happens to the best of us. I just wanted to be here when you arrived, that’s all, and let you know everyone is okay and safe, they are all a bit… shaky, due to recent events, so they had all retired to their rooms, I was just waiting for you to come back.” She said calmly as she clasped her hands behind her, “I was worried,”

Keith slumped a bit and looked around; as if that way he could know what time it was,

“What—how long?”

“Its two am, you were out there for four vargas,” Allura said before she smiled lightly, Keith's eyes grew huge in shock, “I thought something had happened to you, but everyone kept saying you were fine. No one wanted to talk about what happened out there...” She hesitated for a moment,” Keith, is Lance alright? Are you _two_ alright? You know you have all of us to confide in, Keith, maybe we can help.”

Keith pressed a hand to cover his eyes and took a deep breath, accepting it would probably make it easier, “I’m not even sure what’s going on anymore between us, let alone Lance.”

It didn’t make it easier.

“Can I ask what happened out there? No one wanted to talk, not even Shiro. I asked Lance to retrieve you, but… uh—he was quite explicit that he did not want to go and fetch you, he um…”And at this her voice broke a little, “I decided to wait for you instead, I wanted to see if you were indeed fine, you had your comms off so I didn’t know what to expect.”

“Oh I—shit, I turned them off,” Keith said before lowering his hand, blinking before enveloping Allura in a tight hold, “Sorry, I just… I needed time to think.”

“I know that now, It’s alright,” Allura hugged him back for a moment before departing and holding Keith at arm’s length, “You should go and see Lance though, he seems pretty shaken, maybe you could help.”

Keith stared at her blue eyes for a moment, searching, “He said something didn’t he?”

Allura’s face crumbled, “Keith, it was nothing. I know it was nothing. _I know.”_

Keith wanted to ask more about what had been said, but he knew better and just shook his head, “I’m talking to him, _right now_ , if he thinks that just because things get hard he can just rant and step over everyone he’s wrong. _Dead_ wrong.”

He stalked in the direction of their room even when Allura rushed after him, begging him to please be gentle with Lance. War changed people, she told him, but Keith didn’t listen. He tried. He tried everything, asking, being silent, giving him his space and fighting, he even begged. Nothing had worked but _something_ was wrong with his boyfriend and he was going to fix it. And if talking wouldn’t do it, something had to give.

“Go to Shiro,” Keith said softly once they rounded the final corner, voice gentle but laced with steel, just as his eyes, Allura had a hand on his forearm, as if hesitating, “I’ll fix this, Allura, it’s alright.”

Allura looked very torn but in the end she nodded and let him go. Keith watched her go before he began walking again with decision, tugging at his helmet as he went, for a second he thought of smacking it against Lance’s head just to see if that would get a reaction out of Lance. A normal one. However, when he stood outside their room, ready to fight with Lance, ready for anything really, he stopped short.

He was rooted to the place behind the doors, violet eyes growing wide as he stared at the cold metal. Lance was crying. He could actually hear Lance crying, sobbing actually, and Keith’s heart that was beating fast in anger stopped painfully. _Lance was crying?_ Why? What happened? And a part of him thought, how dare he? How dare he even be sad when he _had been the cause_ everyone else had cried or hurt in some way or another in the past few weeks.

Keith was still trembling with anger but now it was mixed with sadness, and longing, and he didn’t know what was worse, he wanted to both punch Lance in the face, but he also wanted to hug him, and kiss him until his arms got tired and his lungs gave out.

He wasn’t willing to do any of that so he just stood outside, equally torn and completely lost as he heard the muffled sobs of the man he loved through the door.

Keith lowered himself to the ground, squishing his helmet between his hands with so much pressure Keith was sure he was going to break it.

_What the fuck was going on?_

Keith was quietly crying out the door too because for once he didn’t know what was wrong, and if Lance does not tell him there was nothing Keith could do. So Keith waited… and waited. He didn’t dare enter the room until Lance quieted, he himself wasn’t sure exactly why he had hesitated but he had, and that made it even worse because Keith never hesitates, not when it comes to comforting Lance, not when Lance needs him.

Finally, after what felt like two eternities and a half, Lance was silent inside the room, he had been for a while now and so Keith thought it would be a good time to enter, at least just to see if he had fallen asleep, if he was not injured. He rose from the floor painfully, shoulders and knees sore from his position against the door, and tried entering the room.

Tried being the key word because it was locked.

Something inside of Keith broke.

Locked. He was locked out and he shouldn’t feel as crushed as he felt.

Lance had never, in almost the six years they had known each other, locked him out of anywhere, even when they were “rivals” Keith had always been able to stumble inside Lance’s room to either talk, annoy him, or rely orders. Lance was always available, it was almost a given. At least to Keith, it was a given.

He gasped, affronted and unbelievably annoyed when he passed his hand over the reader again, instead of lighting up with a soft green color it lighted up red and beeped softly.

 _Access Denied_.

The bold white letters that showed up on the door read for a tick before disappearing. He did it again to get the same result. Keith didn’t even know these doors could do this. He felt as if he was suffocating, the helmet fell to the floor with a metalic thud.

“Lance?” He rasped, feeling alien and insecure as he tapped the door twice, such a foreign movement, such a _foreign everything_ , “Lance? I—It’s me, Keith…”

Keith pressed his forehead against the cold metal door, the hallway was quiet and dark, away from the roomhall the rest shared and he tried to breath in. Allura had said it was two am when he arrived, only God knew what time it was now.

Silence.

Keith scrunched up his nose, in pain or annoyance he wasn’t sure.

“Lance, please,” He said a bit louder, he placed his hands against the door, above his head, before curling them in fists, defeated, voice so low he hoped it would carry to the other side, “What is going on? Let me in, whatever is going on _just let me in._ ”

And he meant it in all the ways possible. Let me in inside the room. Let me in inside whatever is troubling you. Let me in inside your life again because it feels like waking up with a stranger every morning.

He didn’t know when but then he was crying, loudly this time, hands against his lips to muffle the sound, when the door opened.

Keith’s reflexes were on his side even when he was broken, so he was able to lean back in time to not stumble into Lance.

Because suddenly Lance was there.

Dried tears had left their own map on his face and his blue eyes were huge in the dim light, as if he was surprised to see Keith there, Keith sucked breath and held still, steeling himself as he willed his eyes to clear and the tears to stop falling, would Lance hit him? They had a horrible fight after all. Would Lance just glare at him and ask him to stay in another room? Or even worse would Lance _leave_ their room? And find comfort alone somewhere else? Would they break up? Or will they continue to fight?

All of the possibilities were unthinkable to Keith.

They stared at each other for an endless amount of time but Keith wasn’t going to move until Lance did. He was not backing away from this. Keith noticed that Lance was already out of his flying suit and was wearing only his favorite blue robe tied at the front. Keith realized he was still in his, he had totally forgotten to change in the hangar but that didn’t matter right now.

Suddenly Lance gasped, horrified at what he was seeing.

“Keith,” Lance said in a low whisper, and just like that Lance’s hands were on his face, pushing the tears away, and then everywhere else; on his neck on his chest, followed by his lips as he tugged Keith inside the room, dried lips found Keith’s, hesitant, asking, “Keith, don’t cry, I’m so sorry sweetheart, please don’t cry.”

And Keith kissed him as the door closed behind them, kissed him with all the passion and tenderness he had been denied for over a month. Lance took away his armor with delicate touches, almost hesitant, and expertly but impatiently tugged at the black fighting suit underneath a while later, desperate to get closer and it was laughable how much Keith had missed this. Keith pushed Lance’s robe open with a hand as he tugged him closer, unable and unwilling to spend another second with more than an inch between them.

“Lance,” Keith breathed into his mouth as they both fell into the bed, his name the best thing he had said that day, “Lance, _Lance_ , oh my god, what is going on? Love, just tell me what is going on."

Lance just shook his head, kissing Keith’s tears away, “Not now, please not now.”

And Keith wanted to argue, but he couldn’t find it in himself, not when Lance was touching him like it was the first time they made love. Not when he was so tired of fighting and going to bed feeling hollow and empty.

And just like that they found each other again, touching, and gasping, and whispering each other’s names, little nothings into each other’s skin, tugging the other close because the most minimal of space felt like an ocean. Keith held Lance secure as Lance came undone, and Keith was kissed when he finally recovered his senses. Lance was babbling on his skin, kissing every inch of his neck, and cheeks, and jaw, as he proclaimed how much he loved Keith, how sorry he was, how everything was his fault.

“I promised. I love you, God I love you, just…”

“It’s okay, it’s okay, Lance it’s okay.”

That had been yesterday, and now Keith was touching Lance’s shoulder as hesitantly as the days before this, skimming his hands over the bruise on his shoulder, careful to not bring him more pain. They had gone to sleep together, tangled in each other, breathing eachother in but they both knew something was about to go down the next morning. And morning came and with it Keith’s conviction.

He had to do something or he would go mad.

He was almost waiting for Lance to snap at him, like he had done several times but Lance didn’t, and so Keith felt bold and moved to lay on Lance’s chest, making himself comfortable between Lance’s legs, eyes fixed on his face cataloging every reaction, waiting for Lance to glare, or scoff, or push him, but he was glad to find no annoyance or anger in his features.

Keith placed his head on his chest, hands between his chin and the brown skin underneath him and just stared at his face.

They were silent for a long time, just staring, Keith pushed himself upwards so his forehead was against Lance’s as he hovered above him, forearms planted on each side of the Blue Paladin’s head. They were barely touching and Keith’s held Lance’s eyes when the Red Paladin lowered himself, pressing harder against him, fingers combing through Lance’s hair, waiting for any singal that Lance was there with him, but Lance didn't move, his eyes steady, altough the hitch in his breath gave him away.

Keith searched his eyes but Lance relaxed against the bed, closing his eyes a second later. Keith kissed his forehead instead, tenderly, almost shy, he kissed his temples, his nose, and each freckle, and finally Lance’s hands came to rest on Keith’s hips, hesitant at first before he tugged at him almost painfully. Fingers digging on Keith’s flesh, like making sure Keith was there.

Underneath him Lance was shaking.

Keith passed a hand trough Lance’s hair, “Lance?”

Lance raised his hands then and cupped Keith’s face, voice broken, “Keith, I’m sorry, Love, _I’m so sorry.”_

And Keith could’ve cried in relief, he kissed Lance’s brow reverently as he hugged Lance closer. Finally, they were back together, maybe not on the same page, but definitely on the same chapter, he could work with this.

“It’s alright, talk to me, please, Lance, please.”

And Lance did.

Lance told him that he had been getting headaches for a few weeks now, and Keith knew this, this is why they had a bottle of alien aspirins in their bathroom. Lance told him they had worked, and that normally the pain would fade away after a few moments, sometimes either after taking a few pills or taking a nap, but lately they had been present all the time, in battles, in meetings, they woke him up and concentrating trough them left him tired, angry, bitter because nothing could get rid of them.

It had been until yesterday, Lance confessed, that he had been in pain for so long he had thought it was normal.

“And then—then I couldn’t believe what I said to you, and—I didn’t mean any of that Keith. I promise. I swear on my Mama that I didn’t mean any of that.”

“I know, I know, its alright,” Keith said but he was pushing Lance’s hair to the side, trying to look for head injuries, trying to recall when was the last time Lance went into a pod.

“Even now it hurts,” Lance said in a whisper, as if afraid of saying it out loud would worsen things, Keith’s hand on his hair stopped, “I feel like if someone is stabbing me with fire right in the center of my brain and I just want it to stop, _please_ make it stop.”

And Keith did, in a second he was up, tossing Lance his blue robe as he threw some dark pants and a green shirt that belonged to Lance. Keith hated the shirt but he couldn’t care less.

“C’mon, come with me, I’ve got you,” Keith said as he moved Lance out of the bed, gripping his hand in his, Lance didn’t object, following after Keith like a child, they didn’t find anyone else on their path to the healing pods and Keith was relieved, there was so much collateral damage they needed to fix after this.

“Keith?” Lance asked when he found himself in the medical bay.

“Get inside the pod, Lance.”

“But—“

“Get inside, _please_ ,” Keith said resolutely because at this point begging was the less of his problems, hands hovering over the keys already before Lance sighed in defeat, he turned around, looking for one of those horrible white healing suits before he changed and stepped inside the pod, arms crossed and a glare clear on his face.

“It’s a headache, I’m not dying, you ass,” Lance grumbled but quieted when Keith just waved at him. The pod closed and the glass window materialzed, Lance’s face relaxed once the induced comma kicked in.

Keith waited five minutes…. Ten…. Twenty. He paced around the room, thoughts laser focused on Lance and what he had said when someone else walked inside.

“Keith? What is going on? Is Lance alright?” Allura said, she was ready for battle, as always, as she walked to the healing pod with long strides. Keith had forgotten Allura had a mechanism that alerted her to know when were the healing pods being used, her blue eyes scanned the diagnosis, “Did you adjust this correctly? Did—how did he get injured? He was fine yesterday.”

“It’s fine, he’s just had a headache,” Keith said elusively.

“A headache?” Allura asked intrigued, “Five minutes should be enough then, he’s taking longer than that, maybe he was injured and didn’t tell us? I wouldn’t put it past him, that would explain is behaviour.”

Keith and Allura stared at the pod Lance was in for a long moment, they both were quiet for a while“I think… Allura, can you check on Lance’s scans?”

Allura furrowed her eyes brows, hands hesitating over the glass Lance was trapped in, a question in her eyes.

“Allura, please,” Keith said tiredly. Allura did not hesitate, instead, she just nodded and began working, opening screens before closing them, reading some charts before separating others, humming from time to time. Her eyebrows furrowed after a bit of information.

“What? What is it?” Keith asked, having spent enough time around her to know when something was bad news or really _, really bad news_ , and he was glad to see that now it was something between an annoyance and a mild inconvenience.

“Well, I can’t pick up anything out of the ordinary yet, it will be a slightly longer process, I will have to check his past scans, however, today’s scan managed to identify some inflammation on his skull, nothing life-threatening,” She amended quickly at seeing Keith’s face, “But… like some kind of brain pain, migraine, I think I have heard the Earth-term from Shiro. Lance is suffering lapses of heavy migraine.”

Keith let all the air in his lungs go, he blinked, as if the explanation was beyond his comprehension. “Migraine?”

Allura was smiling too, eyes flickering towards Lance, “Lance has been behaving horribly because he had migraine, that explains a few things.”

 _“A few?”_ Keith said passing a hand through his hair but he chuckled, delighted, heart bursting out of his chest. He almost jumped on his feet, “And the healing pod will fix that?”

Allura’s blue eyes looked troubled and Keith’s smile faltered on his face, “The brain is always a difficult thing to diagnose, even by altean standards, however, I’m confident that if he ever has another lapse just a few minutes in the pod will make him as good as new. It might not be entirely curable but it can be treated, I’ll look more into this, maybe we can create a special medicine for him.”

Keith nodded, “That would be great, thank you, Coran gave him medicine but maybe even that medicine wasn’t strong enough?”

And Keith glared at the floor before looking at Lance, Allura following his stare.

“What worries me is that Lance has been suffering without even telling us about it.”

And Keith’s nails were painful against his skin. He nodded. “I’ll talk to him about that.”

They were cut short, however, when the pod finally opened, releasing a steady cold steam onto the floor. Keith was there to catch Lance as he stumbled out of the pod, and was delighted to see that when Lance opened his eyes they were only vaguely tired, nothing else obscuring them.

Keith hadn’t even realized Lance’s eyes had changed when he began having this now called migraine lapses, but now that he was able to stare into them, he could see the bright blue he loved without being tainted with what he knew was pain so deep inside, that Lance actually thought it had become part of him.

And Lance seemed to notice it too because he let out a giggle, pushing himself to his feet, quite unsteadily but managing as Keith passed an arm around his shoulders and his other arm around Lance’s waist.

“How are you feeling, you ass?” Keith asked but he was smiling and his eyes were twinkling and Lance couldn’t even scoff at him.

“Light. I feel light, I uh… what happened?” Lance asked marveled as Keith kissed his cheek unable to stop himself, Lance sounded like himself again, voice warm and body willing, not a trace of the stiffness and cold attitude Keith had been in the receiving end for a month, thirty-three days actually but who was keeping count? Keith was, of course he was.

“You had migraine, you asshole! All you had to do was literally step into a healing pod, but no, you thought it was useless to waste it in something like this, seriously McClain,” Keith kissed him again, “What is wrong with you?” And he planted a kiss between each word. Lance was laughing delighted.

Lance’s laugh was the best thing Keith had heard in weeks. He had missed it.Keith was smiling so wide it hurt. He couldn' help it when he kissed his jaw again, Lance's chest rumbling with silent laughter.

“C’mon Keith, baby, we just had sex like a few hours ago, give the man a break.”

Keith chuckled and hid his face on his neck as Lance squeaked when he heard Allura’s light laugh ring around the room, he turned so fast Keith and him almost fell to the floor. Lance held to Keith for his life.

“Allura! Oh my god—I’m so sorry, Jesus, _I’m so sorry.”_

“It’s alright, I don’t know why you earthlings always are so secretive when it comes down to sex and—“

“Oh my, what? No, _not about that_ , I mean, _yes_ about that but…—Keith, stop laughing sweetheart or I will deck you— but about…. About…” Lance hesitated, his smile dying on his face as he stared at Allura.

Keith stopped laughing, however, he kept smiling, way too relieved after understanding the reason Lance had been an asshole and a douche had been because he had neglected his pain. As usual. This was not new to him so Keith shouldn’t have been surprised but he was. Somehow Lance, for whatever reason, thought he was expendable, thought his needs came after the rest.

Keith was still working on that. Even the smallest of scratches on Lance’s body was important. A headache was worth its time in a healing pod if you ask him, even if Lance probably thinks it would be a waste of resources.

Lance finally untangled himself from Keith and walked hesitantly towards Allura, arms raised as if aiming to hug her but hesitating, voice warm and blue eyes filled with remorse.

“What I said yesterday, I didn’t mean it, I hope you know that, I would never, _ever_ mean something like that Allura, I love you, you _know_ that, and I would never, _ever_ wish you were dead, or Coran. Ever.”

Allura fell forward and hugged Lance fiercely, tears shining in her eyes before nodding on Lance’s neck, “I know. I know but… but… it’s true, Lance, I couldn’t sleep because it’s true, I’m the most selfish woman in this entire universe, I never even gave you a choice did i? Please forgive me, Lance, please—”

“Oh no, no, no no nononono, it’s not true, never, not one second Allura. Please,” Lance whispered into her hair as he hugged her back with all the strength his momentarily lose muscles allowed him, “I love you, it’s alright, you are alive and I’m so glad you are, always. It’s not ideal, it will never be, but there had never been a day I don’t feel blessed that I met you two, alright? You are family, there’s nothing to forgive, you are not selfish, you are brave and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, not even my past asshole self.”

Keith blinked confused, watching and trying to give the pair some space so they could clear the air, not entirely understanding what had happened or why but also knowing it was not his place to ask, after another moment and more whispers Allura let go of Lance and cleaned her face, chuckling softly but happily at the tears.

“Ugh, look at me, I’m a mess.”

“That makes two of us,” Keith said tiredly, deeming it safe enough again to walk to Lance and hug him by his waist, hiding his face on his shoulder, heart feeling light for the first time in ages. His smile had been in place for so long it was beginning to be painful, specially after not smiling much in the past month. But he was weak, that was established in repeatedly occasions, so now that he could touch Lance after a whole month of going without you can’t blame him if he felt a little bit drunk on happiness.

Lance was alright, he had just a stupid headache.

“Nonsense, you look great love.”

“Thanks,” Allura and Keith said at the same time. Time seemed to stop. They blinked, Keith’s head snapping up from Lance’s shoulder as Allura gaped, both getting red in the face, stammering over theirs words before looking back at Lance with clear panic in their faces. Lance, who was chuckling so hard tears were spilling out, just shook his head.

“Im never going to say who it was referred to! Oh my God, where’s Hunk, he’s gonna _die!”_

“Lance!”

“Never!”

-o-o-o-o-o-o

Lance talked with the rest of the team later, explained what had happened with him and what had happened earlier, he showed them the headaches pills he had been taking and apologized over and over again, and instead of what he had been expecting; harsh words, glares, screams, yells, accusations for his horrible  behavoir, he got hugs and smiles and laughs.

“Oh, I knew my boy wouldn’t hurt a Katzöoner! I’m glad we found about this on time,” Coran said as he hugged Lance, lifting him off the floor before asking Allura for Lance’s digital diagnosis to see if he could find a way to create a pill that could keep the migraine at bay, “Im sure we can come out with something.”

Pidge was snarky but she was relieved and made him promise over his bond with Blue (Oi don’t joke with that!) that next time he felt a lapse was coming he would go inside the pod. No matter what.

“But Pidge, it would be like, two minutes, why waste it when—“

“Promise me!! You made me cry two times in a month Lance, that’s more times than in my entire actual entire life, just promise, okay?!”

“I promise, I promise!” Lance said in a hurry when Pidge took out her bayard threateningly but ended up colliding against his chest instead, she was sniffling softly, Lance rubbed at her back as he chuckled, “Hey there, Katie, nice to see you again.”

Pidge just punched him but kept her arms firmly around him. When Hunk finally showed his face on the room along with Shiro, Lance grimaced and his hands on Pidge’ back stopped moving, Pidge looked up at him before looking around to see why that was, she sighed tiredly.

Lance had snapped horribly at them, not just yesterday, but several times during the past weeks and unlike Shiro, who had heard from Allura and had enveloped Lance in a hug, Hunk was a bit hesitant to come forward.

The whole team left the room so Lance could talk to his best friend.

And again. Fucking again and Keith felt like screaming. He had overlooked at everything. Everything that had been yelling at their faces that something was wrong.

Lance had migraine.

Curable.

Fixable.

Coran managed to make concentrated doses for Lance’s personal migraine. If he ever was on the verge of snapping due to the pain they all knew what to do now, not phased anymore with Lance’s harsh words, so they would either drag him to a healing pod or give him medicine, whatever the other paladin felt like doing. Hunk, Shiro and Allura tended to just roll their eyes and give him his pills, sometimes Lance would ask for them, while Keith and Pidge were more than happy to just drag him to the pod, throw him in and push the account five more minutes up just in case.

The idiot. They would mutter.

Soon Lance learned to get a handle on things. And after another month he was now very familiar with headaches and pain in general—the life of a Paladin— to know when it was due to migraine and when it wasn’t.

And so, everybody moved on with their lives.

Keith wished they hadn’t.

-175

(Minus one hundred and seventy-five)

Lance, Hunk, and Keith were on a mission, a very easy one for that matter, they were inside a base and their only goal was to steal some ammunition from the Galra. The Olkary wanted some guns, explosives, and military machinery so they could maybe invent something that would render Galra’s specific weapons useless.

So far it had been an easy infiltration, Pidge and Shiro were on the main control room, opening the doors for them, the goal was not to engage so the Galra wouldn’t know they had managed to get their hands on the brand new Galra technology.

Lance whistled as they arrive at the main hangar, hands on his hips, “If Blue was not waiting outside for me I would be scared to death, but since she is… let me just say this is hella impressive.”

Hunk hummed and Keith couldn't find words to deny it.

“What, what is it?” Pidge asked on the comms.

“Nothing, just the fact that there are enough weapons and heavy machinery here to destroy, like, ten planets,” Hunk offered with a shrug.

“Focus guys, just grab a few things from everything and get out. Don’t bother with a ship, we can rescue one from a battlefield once we fight them again, no risk in alerting them of our plans yet.”

“Roger that, boss,” Lance said but laughed at the way Keith’s shoulders slumped and stepped away from the nearest ship he had been observing, “Although, I think you just ruined Keith’s entire plans, Shiro.”

“Shut up, Lance.”

Hunk whistled as he easily lifted one lid of a giant nearby box, “Alright, I think I found some awesome guns here, Lance.”

“Guns? Oh, you think I can try them before the Olkary decide to dismantle them?” Lance said staring into the box with a smirk, “My bayard is better, obviously, but damn these new rifles look good, should I not be excited to see the new ammo we are going to be fighting against? Because I am.”

He took one out, it was black with just a line in the middle that was purple, like everything that belonged to the Galra, and adjusted his grip, it had a mirage, but it was slightly turned down, not pointing to the front exactly and he hummed, “I wonder what it does.”

“Wonder later, let’s pick ammo from all the important barracks and let’s go,” Keith said already picking a few swords from another barrel and some weird artifacts from the next one that Lance couldn’t help but think were lightsabers.

“Who called this party boomer in, uh?” Lance asked Hunk before he shrugged and began doing exactly as Keith had commanded, dropping two guns in the pile of munition before going for another box.

“Seriously, Lance?” Hunk said as he picked a few little metallic boxes from the next cargo ship.

“What? I love him,” Lance whispered as he tossed a few guns and what looked like a mini version of Rover into the pile they were steadily building.

“Ugh, shut up, just shut up and get to work, you have less than four doboshes before a patrol strides in and you need to be away from the main corridor before that, focus,” Pidge said before she clapped and yelled, making the three paladins jump and halt their advances, fervently shouting questions, “Yes! Heck yes! I found another slave-base while you three were wasting time.”

“That’s great, Pidge,” Hunk said honestly as he lowered something that contained a blue brilliant liquid, it wasn’t heavy but it looked fragile.

“Great work, Pidge, ready to bolt?” Shiro asked over the comms, Lance could picture his concentrated face as he stared out the control room while Pidge worked.

“Ready. You three, see you in about five doboshes back with Blue and Green?”

“Got it,” Keith said all business as he looked at the heavy and not that small pile of weapons, he supposed it wasn’t enough to generate doubts in the Galra Ship but definitely enough so they would have problems carrying all this. He looked towards Hunk,  not wasting time, “Okay, I didn’t think this trough, how do we carry this?”

“That, my love, is a question for the strategist,”

Hunk and Keith turned to see Lance on top of a large alien version of a hover-board that hovered a feet or two over the ground, large enough to carry six Galra sentinels, or in this case three paladins and a pile of weaponry. Lance smirked down at them as if he had found the holy bible.

“I love you,” Keith said with feeling as he began lifting everything on top with Hunk's help. They finished in a few seconds and climbed in behind Lance and smiled.

“If you kiss I will barf, literally,” Hunk said and Lance and Keith raised their hands in surrender. “So how does this work, uh?” Lance tugged at what Keith thought was the controller, it looked ordinary enough, like a large piece of metal the size of a small bar, but if Lance moved it forward, the hover-board moved along and if he pushed his hand farther away from his chest, it moved faster.

“Oh, like a Wii control!! This is so cool!! Let’s keep this!” Hunk said and Lance nodded, however they grew quiet once they exited the hangar bay, fast, noiselessly and steadily hovering in their new favorite mechanism of transport. Soon they were out the general hangars area and down the corridor to where the exit near the lions was.

They were quiet, though, listening if any Galra robots or actual Galra soldiers were wandering nearby, but they had learned by heart the sentinel's patrols before entering the base so they were confident their timing was so far perfect. However, always careful and ready, they had their bayards at hand. Pidge and Shiro were already on Green, so now Pidge was telling them when to stop or when to continue according to the readings on her computer.

“You are almost there, next turn take it right and then wait around twenty ticks, there’s a patrol there, but after them you are safe, the exit is already coded free so you should literally go through it easy freezy, like Lance says.”

Lance didn’t dare to talk and just assumed Pidge understood, she was a bright girl, she totally did.

Lance stopped in the intersection Pidge had asked him to and the rest waited with batted breath. That’s when Keith placed a hand on Lance’s lower back and Lance squirmed away so fast he almost stumbled off the hover-board. Keith caught him by reflex, pushing Lance against his chest and Lance winced and kneeled, a whimper escaping his lips even as he raised a hand to his mouth, trying to be quiet but knowing somehow he had failed.

Hunk and Keith both turned their heads towards the intersection. Keith took the controller that had clattered to the floor and the board moved dangerously close to the wall. He tensed, ready to do something reckless when they saw as the Galra trio walked without seeing them, apparently, they had been talking among themselves, laughing and patting each other’s backs, too focused on their own talk to notice them.

New recruits.

They looked young, younger than them. Keith felt sick but did not move and thanked the universe for this little miracle. As soon as the Galra teenagers were out of sight Keith breathed in before commanding their little cargo ship forward. Pidge had been right, the door was unlocked.

They quickly breezed past it and into the planet’s atmosphere, quickly losing themselves in the high rocks of the deserted place.

“Lance? Lance are you alright, what was that man?” Hunk asked concerned as he kneeled beside Lance who seemed way too interested in the metal floor, catching his breath, Hunk placed a hand on his back and Lance whined again, “Lance? Are you having a migraine lapse? Should I—you can snap at me it’s alright, we are almost home.”

Lance shook his head, eyes closed, focused entirely on breathing. Keith’s eyes were attentive on the deserted road, he was barely able to control the hover-board without making them fall, it was harder to control it than he had thought. If he allowed himself to look down at Lance he would just make it worse. That’s when he saw Blue, standing tall and beautiful against the lunar rocks and just beside it he knew Green was sitting up too, cloaked in their invisibility armor.

Hunk placed a hand on his shoulder when he got no response, “Buddy?”

“Don’t touch him,” Keith said in a desperate whisper as Hunk seemed to hesitate between moving Lance or not, “Something happened to him, don’t touch him.”

Hunk nodded and focused instead on the blue lion, throwing Lance anxious glances from time to time. Lance just kept quiet. The second they were near Blue, Green dropped its cloak and Pidge and Shiro came running to help with loading up the ammo.

Pidge was screaming as she runs towards them, “Guys! Guys, you won’t believe what I just found!! Lance, Lance, you are going to love this!!!”

“I’m so glad you made it, I was—Lance? What happened?” Shiro asked when he saw Lance clutching at his chest, pale face and eyes scrunched up in pain as he kept kneeling on the floor, “Keith what—“

Lance screamed so loud it froze Keith’s blood in his veins when Shiro moved Lance’s arm to get him off the cargo ship. Shiro dropped him as if he had burned Lance, he looked down at his Galra hand in alarmed wonder before looking at Keith.

“I don’t know, I don’t know!” Keith was saying as he watched with terror how Lance whimpered and went back to rest himself on one knee, breathing hard, “He just… he just collapsed!”

Pidge kneeled beside Lance, her eyes moving between him and the dessert place before turning back to her friends. They needed to move. Now. Their window was slowly disappearing and soon the Galra would notice the lions there and they knew that.

“Lance,” Pidge said softly, hands hovering above his but Lance just shook his head minutely.

“Please don’t touch me,” Lance said in a ragged whisper, “Do anything but don’t touch me.”

Pidge was startled, hands going back to her chest before her eyes landed on the control of the cargo ship that Keith had left there; her hands were shaking as she took it, doing everything in her power to go around Lance so not even the air she generated touched his skin. Lance was clutching at his chest again. Pidge looked towards Blue, and the Lion, as if she could read her mind, lowered her head and opened her mouth, slowly Pidge moved the hover-board with Lance on it along with the Galra weapons they had come there to collect. Lance was now leaning on his side, breathing harshly.

Pidge made her way out quickly to look at the giant sentient machine.

“Alright, alright, Blue, choose a new paladin for the next few doboshes because Lance is out,” Pidge said to the Blue Lion, voice trembling just like her, Blue kept her head lowered to the ground, yellow eyes shining as if it was aware of what was happening, all of them could feel her hurt too, as if she was sharing the pain with Lance. “Just so we can get help at the castle, alright girl? But choose!”

“No, no I can do it, I can do it,” Lance said, and all of them were startled as they watched him get up to his feet, steady, face determined. Shiro and Keith rushed to help him but his steely stare stopped them in their tracks, Keith’s heart doing all kinds of things, “Blue is helping me, but not for long, let’s go before I _really_ lose it.”

No one questioned it any further, they didn’t have time, they could crumble, worry and ask later, once safe at the castle. Pidge grabbed Keith by the hand and dragged him along with her as Shiro and Hunk ran inside Blue behind Lance.

“Pidge, Pidge I need to go with Lance,” Keith said as he backtracked away from Blue’s mouth, torn between snapping at Pidge or just tug his arm away from her reach.

“No, no you don’t,” Pidge said with a watery voice that made Keith turn, “He’s gonna be fine but I—just come with me, alright?”

Keith saw the tears on Pidge’s face so he steeled himself and began running along with her, Lance could make it to the castle, he had Shiro and Hunk, he would be fine. So he calmed his heart and willed himself to pay attention to the girl with him, which he would give his life for too any day at any given time. 

Keith and Pidge entered Green and the second they were inside they launched into space, following Blue’s steady pace outside the planet and into the vast dark space. The mission a total success and for once no one was happily talking about that.

The comms of the Blue lion were silent but Keith knew Shiro or Hunk would turn them on if they needed them.

“What happened?” Keith said lowering his upper body once Pidge had managed to pull them off from the gravity force of the lunar planet, his hands were on Pidge's chair, voice steady even if he was shaking with lingered adrenaline,  “Pidge, are you alright? What happened?”

“I just—I just found out,” Pidge took a calming breath and Keith placed a steady hand on her shoulder, “I just found Matt, I found a lead, I know where he could be, it’s recent, a few days old at most.”

Keith felt all the air leave his lungs, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, so many years looking for Matt… and now he would be here? Was he alive?

“Oh my god, Katie,” He said, no one ever called her Katie unless it was important, and right now this was important, “Oh my god, where? How? Are you—are we—we can convince Allura to help us, take some time to… we can—Katie?”

Pidge was quietly sobbing, eyes focused on the blue lion as they nearer the castle that was hidden behind a moon.

“I can’t—I was so happy, because finally, you know? Finally, a lead that could take me somewhere, and I—I wanted… I wanted to tell Lance because, damn it, I know he would understand, Hunk doesn’t have brothers, Hunk left Earth before he could meet his little sister, but Lance understands, he knows how important this is, how much I care and…”

“Pidge, we all do,” Keith said quietly, painfully aware that no, he does not have brothers but… she’s his family so he understands how he would feel if Pidge ever goes missing, “I know I don’t get many things, but trust me we are all happy for you, we will help you, and…”

“That’s not the point it—it’s him!” Pidge said motioning with a hand towards Blue who was disappearing into her hangar, already reached the castle. “It’s him, something is wrong with him, Keith. I thought we had figured what that was, his stupid migraine or whatever, but now he hurts all the time, I’ve noticed over the past few days, if you hug him too tight, if you kick him on the shoulder… he winces and he pretends he’s alright but _he isn’t. ”_

Keith felt like he had been kicked in the chest, the past week he had been in a mission with the blade, he had just come back yesterday and when Lance had just insisted on just sleeping and no funny business he hadn’t thought much of it. They had kissed and hugged and gone to sleep and Keith had been happy with that.

“What?” He whispered alarmed as Green opened her own hangar, Pidge managed to land neatly despite her trembling hands, she was silent for a long moment as Keith’s mind was reeling with the information.

“Something is wrong, Keith,” Pidge finally said as she turned on his seat to look at him firmly, eyes huge behind her helmet, alarmed and angry, “Something is wrong and he’s not telling us, and how can I be happy  for Matt when I know my other brother is hurting? Uh? _How?!”_

They both sat there, Keith finally giving up on standing and kneeling beside Pidge, eyes focused on the unique green metallic patterns of the floor that,  only Green has them.

“I talked to him and he said he was fine, he said he was injured from training, but… but today? He’s not fine Keith, and I don’t know if any of this has to do with him having migraine, or being tired, or just hurting but— but we need to fix this.”

And that’s the only thing she said with conviction.

Keith nodded, looking up at her, “I’ll fucking throw him a whole week inside a healing pod if I have to.”

Pidge nodded, as if that was the exact answer she had expected before they were both returned to reality when Hunk came barreling inside the hangar.

“It’s Lance,” Hunk was saying from the huge open doors, “Keith, Lance needs you.”

Pidge and Keith bolted from Green, Hunk had not finished speaking when the green and red paladin where already running along with him down the corridor to the medical bay, however, before entering, Hunk slowed down and grabbed Pidge by the shoulders.

Their teamwork now between the three was way better than in the beginning, so the trio understood in silence what was meant to happen. Keith had to go alone that much was certain, and Pidge understood, quietly she hung back, hugging Hunk and hiding her face in his chest while Keith nodded to Hunk, sharing a glance before he doubled on the corner.

Allura and Shiro were outside with Coran, but no Lance.

“Where is he?”

Shiro was hugging Allura tightly, however, Allura wasn’t crying. She was just quiet, unable to meet his stare, her mind somewhere else as she bit her lip.

It was Coran who spoke, walking forward so he could face Keith, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, “Keith, my boy,”

“Where is he?”

“Inside. Breathe, Keith, he’s fin—he’s alive. The pod is ready, all you need to do is get Lance inside a white suit and then gently push him inside, the pod will close automatically,”

Keith’s eyes were huge as he looked around, not knowing what was so strange in this scenario, but aware of it, “What—why didn’t you do it, why hasn’t Lance done so? Is he out of himself? Did he pass out? Shiro?”

And he asked Shiro because Shiro had handled all and each of them, he was sure at one point he had even tucked Pidge inside a healing suit, modesty was something they could not get the privilege of that often, let alone in live or die moments. So why hadn’t Shiro done it?

“Just enter Keith, I—you will understand, I’ll be here if you need help,” Shiro said reassuringly instead, a kind smile but face troubled, “I think… this is something you need to do.”

Keith didn’t hesitate any longer and entered the medical bay.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Lance was there, breathing and alive so Keith for a moment forgot how this situation could get everyone acting so weird, he rushed to Lance’s side on the medical bed. The Blue paladin was clutching at his chest, eyes closed in pain as he tried and failed to lift his head to look at Keith.

“Hey, hey it’s alright, I’m here,” Keith before he kneeled in front of Lance, this way Lance was able to open his eyes and look straight into Keith’s without having to move, he looked like even breathing was taking all of Lance’s effort. Keith noticed that the helmet was on the bed, and that the armor was off, only now the black suit prevailed and he wondered what had Shiro hesitating. Lance looked at him pleadingly, Keith didn’t need Lance to speak to know what he was asking.

“It’s alright sweetheart, I’ll help you… if you are hurting I’ll just do it carefully, alright? Then we get you into a pod, you get healed and then we can talk, we can figure this out later,”

“Keith-”

“Shh, shhh, you don’t need to explain, I’m not mad,” Keith wanted to kiss him but he was afraid even that would hurt him, he looked at Lance again, not being able to identify the source of the pain, “I—where are you hurt? Your back and arms? ”

_“Everywhere.”_

Keith’s heart wanted to slit away from his chest but he steeled himself, he nodded, “Alright, we’ll take it slow, I promise, maybe you broke something on the base?  Pidge said you were injured while I was away? I—“

“I tried… I went into a healing pod last week _, I don’t understand,”_ Lance said with a hiss, his blue eyes watering, ignoring what Keith was saying, “I promised, didn’t I? I promise I went into a healing pod, Keith, please believe me.”

“I do, I do. Breathe, now I’ll help you, alright? It’s my turn, you have done this for me a million times,” Keith said as he raised, Lance’s eyes scrunched shut. He bent around Lance to look at Lance’s back, the zipper was already down and now Keith could see why Shiro had stopped.

The black suit was rolled to the sides so the whole upper back of Lance was naked, a huge brown and purple bruise was painted on the middle of his back, so huge it seemed impossible for it to be there, it looks as if was born from Lance’s spine, making its steady way down his lower back. Keith gasped as he let his hands fall on Lance’s shoulder, his fiancé whined and Keith backtracked to look at Lance, lowering himself to the floor again. Trying to search for an explanation from his eyes.

“Lance? Lance, I don’t know what happened but I won’t get mad, I love you, just tell me who did this? What happened? Who—what—who I need to kill for this? Was this on the base? This—you found a Galra when you went for the hover-board? Where you in a mission while I was away? What is this?”

And it tore Keith’s heart apart when Lance shook his head, tears finally escaping him.

“I don’t know, Keith, I don’t know!” He whispered.

Keith gulped but nodded, placing his hands above Lance’s softly, hardly there before nodding again, “Alright, forget about this, we have a mission, we need to get you into a healing pod, alright?”

“Alright,”

Keith raised again and this time he steeled himself, he softly, gently, but quickly, began pulling Lance’s arms out of his black suit, Lance at first just scrunched his eyes, letting Keith manhandle him out of his suit, helping where he could, but no matter how gentle Keith was Lance still ended up screaming at times, whimpering, biting his lower lip so hard it drew blood.

Keith tried to focus on other things, he talked to Lance the entire time, he’s not exactly sure about what, about sunsets, and about missions, and about songs he liked from Earth, finally, after what felt like an eternity, Lance was naked on the bed and now Keith could stare horrified at was used to be brown and healthy skin.

Lance had bruises everywhere, coloring warm, brown skin with purples and yellows and greens. On his ankles, on his shoulders, on his hips and chest, a string of purple colored his collarbones, his eyes found Lance’s and he saw reflected in them the same fear Keith was feeling. He gingerly touched a bruise on Lance’s wrist, a question on his eyes but Lance just shook his head again as a response.

Lance truly didn’t know what had happened.

Which was another new kind of horrible.

Getting Lance into a healing suit was even worse, Lance had stopped trying to cooperate and was now screaming for Keith to stop, sometimes to just get on with, that’s when Lance seemed a bit more lucid.

“Keith, just do it!!”

And Keith never in his life treated Lance harshly unless the boy wanted it, but he did then, anything so Lance could just stop crying and whimpering.  Lance screaming leaving him deaf and hollow as he pushed Lance’s arms in the sleeves and zipped it up with a quick one motion of his hand. Everything was over in seconds but it left Lance whimpering and weak against him, he was nodding, as if saying it was alright, probably more for Keith’s sake than his.

“Don’t cry, it’s alright, it’s alright,” Lance was saying, unable to move and Keith realized he had been silently crying almost the entire time.

“I’ll—the healing pod is ready.”

Lance nodded as Keith practically dragged Lance towards it, Lance bit his lips to avoid making more pained sounds, lips equally bruised. Once Keith managed to get him inside, Lance smiled down at Keith, but he was nervous and scared and his hands were trembling against Keith’s shoulders.

Keith didn’t know what was going on but he would find answers. He would. Keith took a moment longer to move Lance’s arms away from around him before surging to kiss his lips, incredibly gently, the press of his lips barely there, he would be damned to cause Lance more pain.

“I’ll be here.”

And Keith stepped out to let the walls of the pod close and freeze the man inside. The second Lance closed his eyes, face softening; Keith let himself fall to his knees and lost it, ragged breath and angry tears escaped his eyes.

Just what the fuck was going on, he banged his hands against the floor before looking up at the ceiling.

“What is going on?! Uh, universe?! _What the fuck is going on?!”_

And it was a shame, really, that it had taken all this time, all these little things, for Keith and the rest to realize something was wrong with Lance.

Keith should’ve known nothing good stays with him for long.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

\- 159

(Minus one hundred and fifty-nine)

“Sick?” Keith had asked, that’s when the world he knew stopped being as it was. “What do you mean he’s sick?”

Allura and Coran were sitting together in the kitchen, Shiro was beside Allura, hand firmly grasping hers. Pidge was seated between Hunk’s empty space and Keith, who was idly playing with a knife, she was focused on the data on the iPad Allura had passed around, just to do something with her brain after being useless almost the whole process of Lance’s medical analysis. She was not a doctor, however, now being able to see the compiled data she could put her brain to work where everything had gone wrong.

Hunk was on the kitchen, not stopping his cooking because _Lance was asleep in his room but he will be hungry once he wakes up and none of them wanted their Blue paladin not only hungry but eating green goo._ So Hunk was listening as Allura and Coran explained to them as best as they could what was wrong with Lance, however, the second Allura said “sick” Hunk had stopped and instead he inched closer to the table.

Lance had been inside of the healing pod for the totality of five days, during which Allura and Coran had taken extensive medical analysis and reads to explain Lance’s deteriorate body, Shiro asked if any of that had to do with a migraine and Allura shook her head, letting go of his hand as she stood up to face them properly.

Coran stood up for support, leaving a hand on her shoulder.

“I—we think we might know what caused this,”

“Okay, okay, okay, because if you know how this happened we can fix him, right? For good?” Hunk asked as he finally came to sit beside Pidge, who was glaring at the iPad, Hunk hesitated,”Right?”

“Guys?” Keith asked, too tired, too scared to talk but finding somehow courage after seeing Lance asleep and breathing in their bed, fully cured, not an inch of his skin marred with colors anymore.

Allura and Coran were silent, they both shared a glance and were about to speak when Pidge piped in, holding the iPad so tight her knuckles were white.

“Just what the fuck is this?” Voice controlled but low, anger mixing in her voice.

With a movement of her hand, she pushed the images she had been staring at to take place in the middle of the kitchen table, eyes furious and watering. Not waiting for an explanation she continued while the rest of the team stared at the two floating pictures.

“Why does this say—what the fuck is this Allura? Is—his genetics— he—“ Pidge couldn’t even speak properly and Keith and Shiro leaned further on their chairs to look at the holograms.

It was two pictures of Lance, that much was clear, but not a picture of him, per say, but an Altean medical x-ray, which means it showed Lance’s veins in rivers of white and blue, a shadow where the heart is, and black circles where his eyes should be, his brain was colored in different shades, and the rivers of colors that indicated, blood, air, veins, muscles, etc, moved quietly and slowly even as they stared.

Keith was no medic, but he knew enough now to see this was how Lance’s medical x-rays should look like. Beside this picture was another one, but now the rivers of blue and white were painted with green, Keith stupidly thought maybe it was a scan of Pidge but he reminded himself that all of their scans looked blue and white, it was just a coincidence, but the fact that something green was running now through Lance’s was new.

“What does the green mean?” Hunk asked perplexed, and Allura nodded.

“It’s a new addition to Lance’s blood.”

“Is he…was he poisoned? Somehow?” Hunk asked, trying to act calm as the rest of them were because Lance was alive and breathing and they had all seen him step out of a pod a varga ago.

Shiro was up from his seat in a tick, prosthetic hand clutching and uncurling anxiously, “Poisoned? But how?”

“He wasn’t poisoned!!!”Pidge screamed and pointed at the pictures again as if they had missed the important bit, “He’s—he’s not even Lance!”

“What?”

Pidge’s just moved her hands again to the pictures and Keith this time was leaning so into the holograms he almost passed them, annoyed to be so far away he brought one clumsy closer to himself, the hologram obeying his command as Shiro and Hunk hurried to his side.

His eyes scanned the pictures several times until Shiro pointed to one thing he had not even paid attention to. There, in the right corner written in Altean, was Lance’s name in bold white letters. Keith didn’t know much about Altean language, it was Lance who had a knack of it and actually studied it in his free time, but he knew enough to recognize all his friend’s names and some basics commands. He quickly turned to the other hologram, the one who looked corrupted, and it just showed two blank dots that blinked in the air followed by an Altean sign, as if waiting for someone to type a command.

“The pods _automatically know_ when someone of us enters them, they have scanned us so many times they make new archives every time we use them and they file them with our names on the main computer so we can keep a database” Pidge said, voice accusatory, explaining this to the rest of his friends. Keith felt like he was suddenly under water, not really listening, “So why does this damned thing says he is an unidentified person? Uh?! Why the pod does not recognize Lance?!”

Everyone turned to Allura, who held herself strong, eyes clear, however, Keith knew her well enough by now to know she was faking it.

“The computer does not recognize Lance… because—“ Allura took a deep breath, “Because—“

“Is he an impostor?” Hunk said horrified, “We have been dealing with a clone?!”

“He’s not a clone,” Keith said harshly, he looked at the corrupted image again, not understanding what was happening, "He’s still Lance.”

“Allura,” Shiro said pleading.

“In Earth terms…” Coran was the one to speak, and he looked incredibly crushed even when his shoulders were pushed back, his eyes were saddened and dull, “Lance has what you earthlings call a genetic sickness. In this case… a muted one, it’s so deep within him that… it has affected his genes… that’s why the pod can’t trace him as Lance any longer… Lance’s entire human composition and genetics _changed_.”

“What?” Keith said just to say _something_ because it seemed unreal to be hearing those words, however, Coran not understanding his shock just explained further.

“Lance… Lance has cancer, Keith,” Coran said and Keith could actually feel when he stopped breathing.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Questions boomed inside the room.

“Cancer?! How _is that_ possible?!”

“How? When did he get this?”

“He wasn’t sick before coming to space, I would know, something happened,”

“The healings pods cure everything, don’t they?! They will cure him, right?” Keith asked.

“We… we want to believe that but… we still have one question to ask you Pidge, that will confirm our thoughts,” Allura said calmly, Keith was sitting on the table, eyes unfocused as Hunk and Shiro hovered over the holograms again, trying to see something that could prove Allura wrong in what she was saying.

Pidge didn’t say anything, too confused but at least relieved to find out Lance was still her Lance, a bit sick but still hers.

“He’s still Lance.”

“Yes, yes he is,” Allura smiled as she looked at her paladins, “And now he needs us to find him a cure.”

And like the paladins they were trained to be, they turned off their hearts and souls for a moment, this was a mission and right now it was their top priority. Zarkon pushed away from their minds for the first time in months.

“What do you need?” Shiro asked, voice steady, “Nothing on Earth can help, but surely something in this universe, Hunk?”

“I’m sure he did not have cancer before coming here,” Hunk repeated, eyes focused and arms crossed, “Maybe he got sick on a planet? And maybe that planet can have an antidote. ”

“Coran, make a list of all planets with highly advanced medical fields, we are paying them all a visit,” Shiro ordered and Coran nodded.

“Already did,” He raised a finger and looked at Pidge, “But I want to make a match of Lance’s final medical—“

“On it and done,” Pidge said as she typed on the iPad rapidly, “I have a record of Lance’s final normal scan and his new ones, there’s a wide berth of time, almost two quintants between each other.”

Allura nodded, coming closer to stare over Pidge’s shoulders, “I’m aware, I want to make a match from each and all those days based on our movements on the castle. I realize Lance didn’t come from Earth sick, however, if my theory is correct, he indeed got sick in a planet, but I can’t remember what was he doing on those days.”

“Which two weeks are you talking about, Pidge?” Hunk asked and Pidge moved a few things on her iPad before a series of numbers appeared on the air again for all to see, “Wow, that… that was months ago.”

Keith stared at the numbers, trying to finds links in his memory towards them but keeping track of time in space seemed impossible at times.

“Okay, okay, the last time Lance got injured when was that?”

Even that question was hard to answer.

“You mean Lance before—Healthy Lance or… or…”

“Healthy Lance,” Shiro said easily at watching Hunk hesitate, “When was that?”

Keith was breaking his brain, “I don’t know, I don’t know because he broke his leg a few weeks ago but… was that before or after he got— I don’t remember, we get injured all the time, a two weeks berth it’s not even a lot,”

“I have a few videos that might help us remember from those exact two quintants Pidge is talking about, that’s why I asked her to make a correlation of Lance’s actual place in time between his old and new scans,” Coran said as he himself pulled out his own space special screen and materialized a few videos in the air, “Maybe something will trigger our memory?”

They watched and furrowed their eyebrows when they realized the video had no sound.

“Can you turn on the volume? It will be easier to decipher what were we doing,” Shiro asked confused but Coran just scrunched his face.

“This is a video from the meeting room, it has no audio…that’s löoted,” Keith didn’t know what löoted mean but he agreed.  Coran fast forwarded a few days and paused when someone asked, but the audio didn’t return.

In the video, everyone came and went with fast, cartoon movements, and suddenly they saw Pidge and Hunk leave and for the next several days they didn’t show up, neither did Keith but Lance did after a while, talking alone with Coran, he fast forwarded and that’s when Pidge and Hunk returned to the picture, Allura and Shiro along with Keith. And then the whole team was together again after forwarding a few more days. Somewhere in the middle the volume returned but nothing was said that could help them pinpoint Lance’s whereabouts.

Keith wanted to say he knew what to do with this information but he didn’t, things like this happened all the time, they went on missions _all the time,_ they had visited at least fifty planets in the last five months, where to even begin? Keith didn’t know and he didn’t care, he would visit each and all of them until he figures out what planet had done this to Lance, his mind still trying to comprehend that Lance was sick. It seemed impossible.

“I'm trying to compute those days with different logs of the castle, and Coran is right, they are all audio deprived, why? This isn’t normal.” Pidge said as calmly as she dared.

“No, however, I encountered that the audio of the videos a bit before those two weeks we are searching in, and the videos after the space Lance got sick, even a week after his return, are still not functionating.” Coran told her, as if Pidge and him could work this out, “Something happened in a space-time of three quintants were all the videos of the castle are muted.”

Pidge was working algorithms, Shiro was going through his mind injury after injury that he could recall of Lance and what battle that was it, scribbling on a piece of paper along with Hunk, who was trying to remember all the times Pidge and he would’ve disappeared to a mission.

But Keith knew what he had to do. It was painfully simple.

He picked the iPad from the table and stalked out, ignoring the quiet questions he left behind he ran towards their room. He stopped outside of it, catching his breath before entering, Lance was there cuddled on the bed, surrounded by blankets as if he was having the time of his life.

Keith hesitated at the threshold. The information Coran had just told them way too recent in his mind for Keith to actually acknowledge it. Lance opened his eyes lazily and smiled, making grabby motions towards Keith. The red paladin didn’t know he had moved until he was in bed with Lance, letting Lance spun him around so his back was against his chest,

“Hey there, Samurai, sorry I took too long to wake up.”

Keith couldn’t help it when he turned on his spot, against Lance’s wishes, so he could see his face and vibrant blue eyes staring at him. “Hey.”

“I was about to go and look for you, but the universe loves me and sent you back to me, amazing,” Lance said with a smirk but Keith just shook his head. No, no the universe was not amazing, but he needed to be sure,

“Lance, love, we were working on this thing—“

“I know you only call me love during dire times, like, when our lives are on the line, and I used to enjoy it,” Lance said as he cradled Keith’s face and smiled brilliantly, like he had not been in pain a few days ago, “But I like it now, when you just say it, out of the blue,”

Keith smiled, forcing himself not to cry and nodded, “Alright, I’ll say it always, every day if you want.”

“What—no, not always _always_ , just… ugh, only when you feel like it, not when I’m out of my head or about to die or something.”

Keith chuckled, “Alright, love.”

_“Keith.”_

“What? I felt like it” Keith said before he surged and kissed him softly on the lips, this time Lance did whine but not out of pain, Keith smirked, heart painfully beating in his chest, how could Lance, his Lance be sick? When he was so happy and radiant and alive? “I felt like that too.”

“Great, this is great, amazing, do you feel like doing something else? Like with the rest of my body?” Lance said in a whisper but Keith was on a mission and he pushed the iPad into Lance’s face, trying to not look as desperate as he felt, “Wow, okay, that’s a no.”

“Lance, we were working on this a few moments ago and we need to know—we need to know where Pidge and Hunk were a few months back, but no one is entirely sure, can you help? I know you are tired but—“

Lance was already focused on the video, moving his finger to one side and then to the other to move back and forward, slowing at some parts, face scrunched up in concentration as he pushed himself to lay chest down on the bed, feet kicking in the air as he hummed to himself. Keith waited beside him, mimicking his pose, watching the video again in case he had missed something. Lance suddenly stopped the video recording.

Lance was in the room, Shiro and Allura where there too hovering over a screen that was so small and far way Keith could not discerner with who they were talking with or what were they seeing.

Keith was there too and was talking with Lance, shoulders down as he absently twirled the knife his mother gave him on his hand. After a moment where they just seemed to exchange some words, Lance just pecked him on the cheek before Keith visibly sighed in defeat. The both of them walked out the room after that, leaving Shiro and Allura alone, still motioning to something on a screen.

“That was the day you were called for a mission for the blade,” Lance said quietly, “I hate to see you leave, and you always hesitate on telling me, right then you were finishing explaining this mission Thace wanted you to be in. Besides you always twirl your knive when you are nervous, so we were definitely not flirting, besides look at my face! Ugh, it’s laughable, It’s like someone kicked a puppy in front of me. See here? Shiro and Allura were talking with Thace, who had just contacted us to request our assistance for the Slav thingy. But _wait a secoooond_ —hey! Just in time, that’s me coming back. I knew it! It was the mission you left to do with the blades but ended up voluntering to tag along, see? Now I'm asking Thace if he would allow it, _that_ is Allura saying she approves, she has this weird face she does when I do something out of ordinary—and, hurray!! Because I get to tag along with the blade and my fiancé aaaaand that’s Shiro patting my back because he’s proud of me. I don’t look so down anymore and—well, easy peasy, there, that was a few months ago at least, can’t remember the date though.”

“But-how? You didn’t—“

“Hunk and Pidge didn’t show up because they were recruiting parts for the ship, it was heavily damaged after a battle with the Garla, don’t you remember? They had left a few days before this, Coran made us fix it for like, ten days after you came back from your mission, Allura and Shiro showed up somewhere in the middle with Slav’s plan that totally failed in this and all realities,” Lance sighed, remembering the entire fail of building a telludav.

Keith started to remember, he pushed himself up on the bed, no, no no no no, he knows but he can’t even fathom the idea, “Lance—Lance you were… you didn’t come with me, you have never come with me to a Blade of Marmora mission, because, because—“

He couldn’t breathe.

“Because I was partying slash doing ambassador duties with our kind neighbors of the planet Phelious 114,” Lance nodded, a genuine smile on his face. “It was a great vacation, three days of sun, and water, and beaches, we should visit soon, they have four moons and the sunsets were—Keith?”

Keith didn’t say anything, he just lowered himself and tugged at Lance’s arms so they could surround him, making himself at home there, forcing his brain to stop thinking for a minute, he breathed long and deep, relishing on the fact that Lance was there, in his arms, comfortable and painlessly breathing, unaware.

“I love your brain,” Keith said into his collarbone, “I love you _so_ much.”

“Keith, are you okay?” Lance said in a low voice before he hummed contentedly, petting his hair, “I missed you too, I know we still have to talk about well, about before but—”

“Not now, Lance, please, not now, let me just…”

Lance hummed and hugged him tighter against his chest as an answer, he kissed Keith’s hairline as his fiancé just burrowed deeper into Lance, as if he just wanted to disappear, to stop time for now. Calmly, steadily, Keith’s breathing matched Lance’s.

“It’s going to be alright, Keith, I promise.”

Keith had never wanted to cry so much as he did back then but he nodded, now that they knew where Lance had gotten this stupid disease Keith could tear the world apart to find the antidote.

“I promise.” He repeated too, with a meaning that was only Keith’s to understand.

_You'll be okay._

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

\- 151

(Minus one hundred and fifty-one)

Telling Lance about his disease was the hardest thing Keith had endured, everybody played stupid for the whole day it took Lance to gather his strength and start walking around the castle, but they had decided that keeping Lance out of the loop was inhuman, Keith would’ve gladly given his left arm so Lance would never find out, but it was one of those pacts they silently had agreed on, how could Keith call himself Lance’s partner, in battle and in life, if he couldn’t tell Lance things.

Things that Lance deserved to know. Keith was reminded by Shiro that this was not his decision to make, so when Lance asked Allura and Keith to brief him into what happened after the infiltration mission so they could start working with what was happening to him, Allura and him had sat with Lance to explain at the best of their abilities. Keith held Lance’s hand the entire time.

Keith saw, right then and there, in front of his eyes, how the Lance he knew died a bit… and he kept dying, one day at a time after that.

“It will be alright,” Keith said into his hair once Allura left them alone, “I’ll find a cure, Lance, I promise.”

Lance just sat there, shocked, not being able to process what had just happened.

“My migraine, my tiredness, my bones hurting and my bruised skin… “ Lance whispered horrified to no one in particular, “I have… _I’m sick?”_

Keith didn’t say anything, he was just there to see how slowly Lance started to comprehend what the rest had days to understand and come to terms with. He held him when he cried and he endured when he yelled as he paced around the room, motioning to himself as he stated that he was healthy. That he felt healthy.

That’s when he logged into his records and realized what the rest had come to realize, Keith let him, as Lance with shaky hands saw the new logs of the healings pods. Unidentified. He saw the alien green substance that now ran through his veins. Lance clutched at his arm so harshly Keith was scared Lance would hurt himself, his nails already making half-moons on his skin, like if Lance wanted to get rid of the sickness that way.

Then Lance turned, the anger, refusal, and annoyance gone from his posture and voice. He just looked defeated, blue eyes searching violet ones as if seeking an answer none could give. Keith was quiet, biting his lip, staring at Lance unable to leave unless Lance didn’t literally kick him out.

“Keith—I was there _three_ days, I just…” He hiccupped, slowly but surely, the tears began falling down as he stared at the corrupted image. Keith found himself rushing to hug him, Lance hugged him fiercely as if his life depended on it, Keith motioned the hologram to disappear with a wave of his hand.

“I was just so happy because I was being useful, Keith, I was just happy to be there. And now I— now I'm sick? Now I’m sick and, fuck, fuck fuck, damn it, I should’ve gone with you,” Lance sobbed into Keith's neck and the Red Paladin closed his eyes, willing the tears away, he just hugged Lance tighter, “I should have gone with you.”

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

-120

(Minus one hundred and twenty)

Lance contracted a strange bacteria in his time on that planet, and usually, it would do no harm… or so the inhabitants of the planet claim. The bacteria caused something close to what Keith and the rest have acknowledged as cancer. The Phelious doctors state it could be easily killed with the medicine they had created, no one in their planet tended to die from it anymore, however, the team wanted to make sure whatever they were going to give Lance would actually work, not taking their chances on making him sicker, so they had stayed to run different tests.

The whole team had spent almost a month on Phelious 114, everyone but Lance obviously, who stayed with Coran on the castle, orbiting the planet. All of them agreeing that keeping Lance out of the planet entirely was the wiser thing to do. While they were down none of them ate or drank anything, not even water, and had their helmets on at all times. Every two or three days Coran would get them a few blood samples from Lance so they could run their test with different variables.

The rest of the team made shifts so they were always aware, twenty-four seven, of what was going on in the investigations, the doctors needed humans samples that Pidge, Shiro, and Hunk were always ready to give, and so they worked along with the Phelious doctors to create Lance the correct antidote. Keith was immune to whatever that caused it, as it was Allura, for their Altean and Galran genes, and they took samples from their blood too so maybe they could work with making Lance immune to it, or something along those lines.

The team on shift returned every night to the castle, starving and tired but they didn’t want to risk making more than two trips a day since the trips back and forth could be long sometimes. They had gotten paranoid, if Lance got cancer who is to say they would be immune too? And since they didn’t want to compromise the lions either they took the slower pods back and forth to Phelious 114.

On the fourth night of the investigations, Pidge had shot herself with the antidote the planet often offered its inhabitants along with a new mix she had created out of Allura’s and Keith’s blood. Keith had never yelled so much in his life as he had done that day, he wanted to kill her, because was she crazy?! But she looked smug and confident by the end of it because it had worked, making her immune to Cancer 114, as they had named the illness, and so she had volunteered along with Allura on staying on the surface from now on so they could work faster.

“Until we find the cure,” Pidge had said solemnly, “Just until then.”

Shiro, Keith, and Hunk returned to the castle each night, and they would go through the process of disinfection twice, just to be sure, and would take a universal immune shot from Coran before daring to step into the Castle’s environment.

Lance was always there, on the other side of the door ready to greet whoever had arrived, he never asked how things were going, he was sure he would be the first to know if anything important happened, but he was always there to offer hugs, and smiles, and jokes, and Keith loved him more, if that was possible.

Because of course, it was Lance, his stupid fiancé, the one who was lifting everyone’s spirits.

Whenever it was just Keith arriving, Lance would drop the act just a little bit and they would just hug, they didn’t need to speak to understand. Lance would play with his hair and ask him random things each time.

“Did you watch the sunset today?” Lance asked him softly that day.

“No,” Keith said, controlling his anger because everything that lived and breathed in that planet he hated, how something so naïve and beautiful, like the beaches he had seen from the flying pods, or the vast forest he saw from the huge windows of the hospital facility could have caused Lance to be sick? “No, I wanted to share it with you.”

“Hmm?”

Keith walked away but motioned for Lance to follow him, the Cuban man did, curiously walking along with him but keeping quiet. Keith noticed that Lance had bags under his eyes and looked a little bit paler, he made a mental note to go and sleep earlier with him, already making plans on ditching tomorrow’s decking. Keith placed the iPad he had been carrying with him and typed a few commands on it before pushing the image out of the screen and into a metallic wall.

There was the sunset Lance had bragged about months ago, this was taking place on a beach with sand the color of roses.

“What—did you tape it?”

“I set a camera,” Keith explained, eyes fixed on the image as hands blindly sought Lance’s, “Today before heading to the hospital… I just—I felt like cheating on you or something, being there without you when you love this sunset so much.”

Lance chuckled as he intertwined his fingers with Keith’s, “It’s beautiful, you should see it one day from the actual planet, although it looks almost real,” He moved so he could hug Keith from behind, he raised the hand that was not clutched between Keith’s, “See? Four suns, how amazing is that? Going down in the water at the same time… it’s like a miracle.”

Lance dropped his hand on Keith’s hip and tugged him closer. “Thank you, for doing this.”

Keith didn’t say anything, he just clutched Lance’s hands harder. He hoped Lance would understand.

-o-o-o-o-o-

-115

(Minus One Hundred and Fifteen)

Keith had taken a break from going down to the damned planet today, Lance had energy now and he was taking advantage of every second Keith hesitated because it had been a while since Lance had kissed him like this and Keith, well, he could never deny him anything.

“Keith, Keith, baby, please, it’s been _way_ too long,” Lance said already tossing his shirt over his head. Keith was kissing him but not moving from his spot on the bed, hands secured on Lance’s shoulders.

“Lance, Lance, you can bruise.”

“So _let me.”_

Keith shook his head as Lance tugged at his shirt annoyed that it was still in place, “Keithy, my man, c'mon, are you my fiancé or not, you asshole? I want this, I want you _, right now.”_

_“Lance.”_

Lance pushed Keith to his back and climbed above him, eyes fierce, Keith could see a small bruise already forming on his shoulder where Keith’s hand had lingered. Keith felt guilt and anger boiling inside of him at the sight of it. Lance took Keith’s head between his hands and kissed him soundly.

“Don’t look at me like that,” He said after they departed, he was so close Keith could count the freckles on Lance’s cheeks. He knew they were seventy-eight, but he started counting again, “I’m not a patient, I refuse to be, not to you, to _everyone_ but you.”

“Lance, you… Love, you are sick how—“

Lance was shaking his head, nose bumping with Keith’s, “Everyone changed, everyone thinks I’m going to break or disappear. They treat me differently. I noticed.”

Of course he did, Keith thought, they had tried to keep going as normal but… how could they? When Lance had fucking alien cancer that they had still no cure for? Keith is losing a battle against something he cannot see, something he cannot fight, and he’s going crazy.

“But I won’t allow it to be you,” Lance repeated, fiercely this time, blue eyes set, finger pointeing at his chest, “I won’t be pitied by you Keith Kogane, I swear to God, I have spent my entire life longing for this between us and even if I have to like, seduce you or something to have sex with me, I will. I will win this fucking battle, I swear.”

“Jesus, Lance, you don’t have to,” Keith said out of breath, as he tugged Lance closer, kissing him like Lance wanted him to, “You don’t even have to, oh my god.”

Lance cheered as Keith finally tossed away his pants and shirt before rolling on top of Lance.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Lance needed to step into a healing pod almost the moment they were done but Lance was smiling the whole time as they walked to the healing pods, Keith nervous and dying in embarrassment as Lance kept counting his bruises.

“Jesus Keith, like, I know you like to hold on, but damn man, you are like really hella strong, what the fuck? How have I not noticed this sooner?”

“Lance, shut up,” Keith said as he motioned Lance to step out of his robe and into the white suit, “I don’t even want to explain to Allura, Jesus, she’s gonna kill me.”

“And my chest is covered, I can see the places you dug your fingers, wow—oh _, oh Keith_ , take a picture of my back, please!” Lance said ignoring Keith, and Keith, for his part, ignored Lance.

“C’mon, tic-toc, sharpshooter, get in, two solid hours,” Keith announced. Keith by now had become an expert at programming pods, Lance needed to be in one at least once every three days.

Lance rolled his eyes and told Keith that sex bruises were better than battle bruises, even if he bruised like ten times easier now, but he liked them and he was going to rejoice in them while he could!

“Wow, maybe I’m kinky?” Lance said more to himself than to Keith before he stepped inside the pod and Keith groaned.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

\- 102

(Minus one hundred and two)

Lance was inside a healing pod and Keith thought it was not a coincidence when Allura and Pidge decided to come back to the ship to tell the rest of the team what their investigations had achieved.

The news left Keith feeling hollow, he had been so sure… Hunk was already silently crying beside him as Shiro looked pale, shaking his head. Pidge didn’t even have the energy to speak, she just collapsed against Keith, who held her in his lap as Allura spoke.

The bacteria that Lance had gotten in Phelious was growing inside of Lance, it had webbed intrinsically with his human's cells… so slowly, so perfectly… the pods detected them as part of Lance’s genes. For the healing pod, the gene called XT-45, was just part of what made Lance, well _Lance,_ and so, even though the pod healed the effects of the genes, which is the headaches, the bruises, and the pain, it does not eliminate them, not completely, not when the cells keep on reproducing.

“The pod is just… postponing it,” Allura said, and Keith hated the words she used.

Lance got himself what they all could only call Cancer. Alien Cancer 114 that not even healing pods could cure.

“Why? How can he be sick at all?” Keith asked as Pidge just burrowed herself more into him, silently listening.

The explanation Allura gave them still makes Keith sick.

Lance had cancer cells in his body, cells _he_ didn’t know he even had that he carried with him from Earth. Lance had human cancer cells, however, they were few, scattered, and not life-threatening, his constant trips to the healing pods before had assured this, because the healing pod _could heal_ those cells, and so Lance would have never been none the wiser. It was weird to think that if they had stayed on Earth Lance would have Cancer by now. Earth Cancer.

However, his human genes had been in contact with this new planet’s environment.

Creating a new gene altogether.

This was a new bacteria that only existed in Lance.

No one else, not one person, alien, not one _single thing_ in the entire universe had what Lance had.

And Keith, who always got flustered because he knew his fiancé was special, unique, hated him for it. Hated him with a passion because of course Lance McClain could do something as stupid as to create his own fucking sickness.

The new bacteria— that Keith _hated_ to call bacteria, as it was this little thing that was actually killing the only great thing he had ever had— attached to the few cancer cells left in Lance’s body when he went down to that stupid planet, and the bacteria thrived on them, muting with his cells, forcing his body to accommodate something that was not meant to be there, therefore it had started to kill him slowly… but surely.

How? How could they not have seen this? Keith screamed, how could have they allowed him to go to a fucking alien planet not knowing he could get a disease?!

“Keith, it was the chance of one  a million, _in a billion_ something like this could happen,” Allura said softly, face marred with guilt, “We didn’t know.”

“This is Lance,” Keith had said in despair, removing Pidge from his lap as he paced around, hands going through his hair in desperation, “That idiot defies the fucking laws of the universe the entire time! We should’ve seen this coming!”

And he knew he was talking nonsense but no one corrected him, everyone was silent after that, Pidge was just curled on the seat Keith had left her in. She looked like she hadn’t sleep in weeks, Hunk was crying softly before he raised from his seat to continue cooking, hiccupping the entire time, because Lance would step out from the pod any minute now and he would be hungry and… and—

“Fuck” Keith yelled as he lowered himself against a wall, “Fuck.”

Finally, it was Shiro who spoke after several moments had gone by, something ticked on everyone’s new watches, it was a signal that Lance’s pod was about to be opened. Keith just shook his head when Coran questionably looked at him, he couldn’t, not now. Coran understood and left to greet Lance into the human world once again.

“So no healing pod can cure him, no antidote on this planet?” Shiro asked, human hand clutching over the table, voice losing its strength,“There has to be _something,_ we have a universe at our disposal. _”_

“Unless we figure out a way to convince Lance’s humans cells that the aliens ones are not part of him… I—I don’t know how,” Allura said honestly, hands clutching Shiro’s so he could forgive her for something that wasn’t her fault, “I’m so sorry, I—I don’t know how.”

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

\- 90

(Minus ninety)

Days began to blur together as Lance got even sicker, they moved away from Phelious 114, and instead located the best medical planets the team had come across in their years in space. Lance was pinched more times on those days than he wanted to keep track on.

It was like Voltron and the reason they were even paladins had stopped to exist, even Allura, who was the first to remind them they had a duty, spent her nights researching about different illnesses and antidotes.

Coran spent every single second of the day he had free with Lance, talking to him about Altea, making Lance all kinds of ridiculous food whenever Hunk was not around, they even watched a movie or two together, he showed him how to speak Altean more fluidly, and didn’t mind it anymore when Lance made fun of his mustache.

Hunk and Pidge began working with the Olkary, they were confident they would be able to build something to fix Lance, but every four days they would come back to the castle to just spent time with Lance, they will play video games, or they would go swimming and all of them will go blind at the sudden bruises that Lance sported now.

Keith almost never left his side unless it was required of him. The only times he left for more than a day was when he went to the Blade of Marmora to ask for help.

He had returned and one look at this face Lance knew, he didn’t need to ask, not when it looked like Keith had cried the whole way back in Red.

“Vamos, vamos, ven amor,” Lance had said when Keith stepped out of Red, Keith kissed his brow, and just allowed Lance to hold him. Someone needed to know something damn it. “Everything will be fine.”

“I know,” Keith said quietly against his neck, he could feel Lance’s heart steady beat, as if it was second nature before quickly pushing Lance’s shirt up, inspecting the brown skin there, no bruises, _for now,_ Lance chuckled as he tugged Keith’s hand away, ignoring Keith’s scoff, “Come, I wanna show you something,”

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

“Whats—what is this?” Keith said staring down at the book Lance had given him, it was very worn out, but the name was unmistakable, “Harry Potter? Are you serious?”

“Very! It’s the only book I had with me when we left Earth, it’s the third book, my favorite, my entire family and I are big fans of JK, so don’t laugh, okay? I have kept this with me for _years._ ”

Keith raised his brows at Lance before he opened it, the book was so worn down it stayed in whatever page Keith chooses, waiting for Lance to read it for the hundredth time, there were some things highlighted and some other things written in the borders. Lance was expectantly watching him and Keith sighed but it was a happy sound, he was smiling fondly instead. Lately Keith couldn't help himself around Lance. “I don’t know how to read this, Love, it’s in Spanish.”

“Oh, I’ll teach you! Besides, there’s no hurry,” Lance said picking up the book again from Keith’s hands, passing his hand above the cover of a very faded face of a kid with glasses, “It will keep you company, you know, if you leave again on a mission, Harry is great company.”

But Keith could see trough Lance's words like he knew Lance could see through his.

_It will keep you company once I’m gone._

“Then, in that case, you should start with the Spanish classes already, Love, I’m a slow learner.”

_Cause I don’t know how long we have._

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

-44

(Minus forty four)

They were attacked that day, Voltron was needed and so they scrambled to get into action. Lance was in a pod, so the team would have to go without him. They had been fighting for an hour now, but no matter how hard they tried it was painfully clear they needed to form Voltron, although no one said it out loud.

“Pidge, on your six!”

“Got it!” She said, rounding on green as she turned on her invisibility armor, the Olkary had done some modifications so now Pidge could go into hiding more than once in a battle, “I'm gonna try to hack into the main computer system from Green but I will need to go closer, take the fire away from the castle, towards the other side of the battle and we’ll see how that works.”

“Roger that,” Keith said. Shiro and Hunk repeated it.

“Coran, how’s the castle holding on?” Shiro asked over the comms as he pungled with Black to a near ship before cutting it in half, “Allura, status?”

“Everything is fine, Lance just stepped outside the pod, Coran’s with him, the castle is holding up but I think either we find a way to turn this around or we prepare for a hasty retreat, I won’t put you in jeopardy, not when we can’t form Voltron.”

“You think the Galra know Lance is sick and that is why every time the Galra ships keep on getting bigger and bigger?” Hunk asked as he smashed two ships together, “That voice got around that we are minus one paladin?”

“Lance is still with us, Hunk,” Pidge said severely, “Guys, the system is upgraded, whatever this ship has is not as the other ships we have encountered, I will need more time to hack it.”

“I do not agree,” Shiro said, “I think we need to retreat, this is a battle we might have to lose, guys lets start heading to the castle.”

“Well, I don’t wanna find out and I don’t wanna go yet,” Keith said with gritted teeth as he pushed Red to her limits, trying to not get pulverized, he was angry all the time he wasn’t with Lance, he needed to vent and if he didn’t want his team to suffer he at least could take out a hundred Galra, at least in this way he could help and not feel useless, “I say we come closer and start attacking the main ship, if we destroy that one the others might leave.”

“Destroying the big guy and then take out the little ones? Sounds like a plan,” Hunk agreed.

“Of course you two would think that, I’m surrounded by idiots.”

“Lance!!”

 “Weren't you on a healing pod, like two seconds ago?”

 “I’m going to fucking kill you.”

“What are you doing here?”

“What am I—I'm saving your asses, that’s what am I doing here,” Blue roared as she annihilated a whole line of ships with her beam, “This is a battle we can’t afford to lose, we are fighting near a new Balmeran planet, we can’t let them know to later come back and exploit them, as they did with Shay’s,”

“Well, unless we come with a plan I don’t think we are going to hold them off for long,” That was Shiro who flew closer to Blue, as if protecting her and if anyone noticed no one commented, “Even with Voltron this looks dire, we have never faced so many Galra’s ships at once,”

“I’m in for whatever Lance is planning.”

 _“Of course you are in_ , Keith! UGH! You are so in love it literally disgusts me, you used to be against Lance all the time!” Pidge said completely annoyed as she returned to their side, invisibility armor pushed to its limits, “Alright sharpshooter, shoot.”

“Thank you, now,” Lance said over the comms. “Easy, forming Voltron is still not a good idea, we will just be a huge target and—Hunk on your three, there, good work, now— “

“Everyone, up, laser beam!” Hunk screamed and they all scatter around space, “Can’t we like ask for some time out? I need to pee.”

“I don’t know, let me pass them the memo,” Lance said as he evaded another ship going his way. “Now, we are all faster than this Galra ships and we know that so here’s the plan; everyone take a direction and cause as much havoc as you can, we will regroup at the end of the battlefield, don’t bother to kill everything just try to get to the other side, there we will form Voltron, all the forces are on this side, chasing us. Once we cross the battlefield that’s where the huge ass ship is less secure, we tear it down apart and then deal with whatever doesn’t run away, got it?”

“Aye aye captain.”

“Great, let’s go.”

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Lance’s plan worked, they won the battle, however, they had to make a hasty retreat when it looked like the Galra were receiving reinforcements, but they had won Allura enough time to create a wormhole and soon they were away from the battlefield.

Everyone was happy and cheering when they left the lions, regrouping outside Black’s hangar as it was tradition, everyone retelling their own parts of the battle. But Lance did not join them. And after a few seconds, they were all running towards Blue's hangar, they all forced the doors open and barreled inside.

There was Lance, sitting in front of Blue petting her huge head and he seemed to have been interrupted as he talked with her.

“Guys? Are you alright?” Lance got up from the floor, hesitant, “Is someone hurt?”

“If we— _Jesus,”_ Pidge whispered as she clutched at her chest, “Yeah, yeah, we are fine.”

Keith let himself fall to the ground and nodded, “I lost like five years of life watching you out there, Lance, what the hell?”

Shiro just chuckled as Hunk rushed to hug Lance, he had stopped hugging Lance like he used to do, he stopped lifting him up in the air, he didn’t crush him anymore, but his hugs were still the best Lance thought as Hunk hugged him as if Lance could break.

“You were awesome, we had missed you out there,” Shiro said as he patted Lance’s back with his human hand, he did not touch Lance anymore with his Galra hand, afraid it could hurt him, somehow, “C’mon, we are celebrating.”

Hunk let go of Lance and motioned to his head, Lance still had his helmet on, “I’m going to make some mean milkshakes, who’s up for that?”

“Me, me,  _mememe”_ Pidge said from the floor besides Keith, the Red Paladin just raised a hand while Lance jumped excitedly.

“Yessss, Kaltenecker was the best addition to this team, I swear,” Lance tugged off his helmet. “Now, do we have chocolate? I want a chocolate milkshake, even alien chocolate is fine—Hunk?”

“Uhm… I—I… yes, I… I can make that happen,” Hunk said staring at Lance, “T-totally.”

Lance raised a brow, “Alright? Okay, then let’s go!”

“But before that… maybe uh…” Shiro said with pained eyes, “You should go with Keith to the healing pods, he hurt his arm, badly.”

“He did?! Ugh, of course he did, oi you asshole, arriba, “ Lance stalked towards Keith and clapped, Keith whined about five more minutes on the floor, “C’mon, you are injured, I know the pods by heart now.”

“Lance, _por favooooor,”_ Keith said, refusing to open his eyes just to annoy his boyfriend.

“Keith,” Pidge said and the way Pidge said his name made Keith open his eyes instantly. He stopped breathing and his smile faltered.

Lance’s right side of his face was covered in bruises, purple, green and yellow crashing over his caramel skin, one eye was even a bit red, a few red and yellow lines crossing the white part of his eyes. Lance’s blue eyes were confused at Keith’s reaction. Blessedly unaware of his physical state so far.

“Keith?”

Keith got up slowly before he managed a quiet smile, he was used to seeing Lance injured by now, he hated it but he was used to it and he knew how Lance hated when someone bluntly pinpointed this to him, “Yes, yes I’m injured, incredibly so it hurts, _ow_ ow, my uh…”

“His back, horrible,” Pidge said from the floor, eyes zeroed in Lance’s face, watering, “I—he’s been bitching for minutes now.”

“Really? Shiro said it was his arm...” At this Keith automatically cradled his arm to his chest and Lance tutted him, shaking his head, “What the hell man, c’mon let’s go,” Lance said taking his good hand in his before dragging him along, “Why didn’t you say so sooner?”

Keith stared when Lance turned his head to glare at him, the bruises contrasting on his skin horribly, Keith wanted to kiss them all away but he wasn’t sure he would not break crying if he even dared.

“I learned from you.”

Lance scoffed, but they arrived at the medical bay. “The one thing you should not learn. C'mon, in the pod you go.”

“Okay, okay but… uh, could you come with me?”

“What?”

Keith was already changing into the white suit, making sure Lance could not see his unbruised back and his healthy column that did not need a healing pod.

“C’mon, It will be fine, it had happened before!”

“But—ugh fine, what the hell,” Lance said crossing his arms before he looked down at them, “I did get a few bruises from the battle…”

That’s all Keith needed, “We will have like, a pod date, you enter the one beside mine, for the same amount of time, how about… one hour? Hmm? You heal your bruises I heal mine, I promise sex afterward, then we can go for those milkshakes Hunk was talking about.”

“Alright you had me a sex, I’m in,” Lance said as he laughed, programming his own pod before changing into the uncomfortable white healing suit, at this rate he should sleep on this damned thing, “A pod date, what the hell, Kogane? _Pod date,_ even _I_ couldn’t have come with that one,”

Keith was smiling delightedly as Lance hummed softly under his breath. Lance would never know about this. He would freak out. He took special care of his face for reasons Keith could never understand but he was not going to let something like this get to Lance. Lance leaned into Keith’s pod to kiss him and winked, the bruises more noticeable now.

“See you in a varga, I guess?”

“You got it,”

Lance entered his pod and Keith heard as the pod closed, Keith stepped out of his before the final count started.

He waited, for a whole hour with all its sixty minutes, in the horrible tight white suit for Lance to come back. He pretended to be cold and shivering when Lance stepped out of his own, face clear of all injuries. Keith did kiss it this time.

“Hey there,”

“Hey… oye, espera, shit, is your back really okay? Usually, that takes more time! I thought your pod would scan you and give you at least three more hours, turn around let me see, let me see, leeme see,”

Keith rolled his eyes but humored him, allowing Lance to zip the suit down to stare at his back and run his smooth hands over the skin there, Lance kissed his neck gently and Keith shivered, closing his eyes.

“You look as good as new, not a single bruise,” Lance said before wrapping Keith in his arms, chin propped on his shoulder, Keith didn’t need to look to hear the motherfucking smirking against his jaw, “Wanna go somewhere where we can fix that? After our awesome date, you need to fulfill some promises, Samurai.”

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

\- 32

(Minus thirty two)

Lance began to be the early riser on good days, he would go and hang with Pidge or Hunk and he spent a lot of time locked away in Blue’s hangar. The rest of the team were still in contact with all the planets they had asked for help, so far none had given them a clear cure, but they all swore they were working on one.

“It will take time, Green Paladin, maybe a few quintants but we are positive we can reach a positive outcome,” Normändy was explaining the experiment they had gone through while Pidge’s eyes flickered towards Lance and Hunk who were seated on Hunk’s chair analysing some data they had recovered from a wrecked Galran ship.

Lance was so tired, so weak, he had to lean against Hunk for support.

“I understand,” Pidge said, eyes zeroing in the face of the alien in front of her, to convey how desperate she really was, how important this was, “Please keep me informed,”

“Of course,”

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

-28

(Minus twenty eight)

On bad days Lance just slept and slept, unbothered, and no one dared to even go against his wishes, they would all hang up with him though, Hunk would bring along some knitting things and Lance and him would talk about earth days, about what they wanted to do when they come back, about Varadero Beach and about Hawaii. They joked that they were besties because they were both beach boys.

Other times Pidge would go and crash on Lance’s huge bed with a lot of equipment, machinery and tools stuff to work with, she explained to Lance as she worked, answering all and every annoying question he had, without missing a beat, sometimes allowing him to help her.

“Can I touch this?”

“Can you make one for me too?”

“Oh, a reminder that Blue wants an invisibility armor too,”

“Hey, gift this to Keith on his birthday; he will go crazy, although you know what? Give it to me, that way it will save me from thinking what to gift him,”

“Pidge! Tell me about Matt, have you found anything?”

“I…I—“Pidge hesitated then before she shook her head, “Not yet,” She lied.

“Oh… I thought we were close,” Lance said moving a hand to wrap it around Pidge’s smaller one, “We will find him, I’ll help you, once this is over, I’ll help you,”

“I know you will,” She said gently, “I know you will,”

Lance was quiet as he returned his hand to hold the tools Pidge was needing.

“…wanna hear about that time Matt and I hacked into the Pentagon?”

“Yes? I mean—Pidge what the hell?! How— are you sure you are not like, part Olkary? Because the hell, Pidge?! I’m having words with this brother of yours once we find him because, ya know, bro-to-bro talk in the benefit of the mutual sis?” Lance said gesturing towards her.

Pidge just laughed. Lance didn’t know, but it was the first laugh in months.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

“Oh, seriously? Don’t joke with me, man!”

“Yes!! You should’ve seen Iverson face, Lance, he totally hated me, I used to be a bit of a rebel before I understood how that could ruin my chances for real at being a pilot, that was before you enlisted, that’s why you never heard of that behaviour,”

“So what did you do? If you had such lower grades and you ‘Epically sucked on your first year’ which, for the record, I don’t believe it,”

“I just became the best pilot in the Garrison so Iverson for once would shut up and leave me alone, once I was getting better I realized how much I wanted it, to be a pilot, I guess. And so… it grew on me, the school, my peers, the mechanics and the strategies... and because I was able to look at Iverson face and smirk because, yeah, I was the best pilot and he had to fucking say it all the time to all his students because it was the truth.”

“You are joking,”

“I'm not,”

“You, Takashi Shirogane, became the best pilot ever because you have a grudge against Iverson?”

“Well, it wasn’t the only reason. I truly enjoyed what I used to do, but… well, it helped that the better I got the most Iverson had to change his tune? Soon he was praising me, the bastard,”

Lance was laughing so hard in his bed tears were spilling out his eyes,

“The dude used to hate me with a passion too, Jesus,”

“He only hated the best of us,” Shiro said with a straight face and Lance was having trouble breathing, clutching at his chest.

“Tell me more, tell me all about it!! Please,”

And Shiro did, perched on the bed beside Lance, running his human hand trough Lance’s hair as he told him all about his Garrison days, about his family in Japan, about how in love with Allura he was and how happy he was that he found Keith on the desert years ago, when Keith needed him the most. They talked about Black and Blue and about the future.

“I wanna take Allura to Japan one day, you think that’s possible?” Shiro said after a while and Lance nodded.

“Totally, like, if I confessed in the middle of a battlefield you can totally do that—oh! Can I be there and like, tape the whole thing? I’ll make a video, with music and everything!”

“Sure… you can tape it but don’t make the video, please, you will probably choose something horrible,”

“I was thinking some song of Cascada so fair point,”

Shiro laughed and Lance grumbled, picking at his side,“So? Keep talking man, how did you meet Keith?”

“Oh right, that was such an interesting evening,”

And they talked for hours, that day and the days after.

-17

(Minus seventeen)

Lance’s and Keith’s room stopped being Lance’s and Keith’s room. There were all kinds of things in it now, Pidge’s tech stuff, Hunk knitting accessories along with books of recipes that Lance had asked Hunk to make to challenge his friend to cook with the things they had at the castle. Coran’s book of Advanced Altean 2.97 and Allura’s pink helmet, Lance was decorating it with a sharpie.

Shiro had just left the room to leave Lance with Keith for the night, everyone seemed to be always there, cramping around their room as if… as if…

As if he were going to die.

Lance needed to go into a healing pod every day now for at least two hours, and even then the bruises would start forming almost the second he stepped out, they had stopped touching him, besides the occasional, kiss on his cheek, hands through his hair, or hands on his shoulders.

When Keith entered the room Lance was sitting up, already going for his jacket with hesitant movements.

“Lance?”

Lance smiled at him tiredly, “I need to go with blue, if that’s okay? I need to see her, I haven't’ seen her in days,”

Keith had barely seen Lance, he had been on a quick mission with the blade, the paladins were working overtime so Lance would not be required out of his room, taking turns into going fighting. Allura consciously choosing calm systems to rest. It was a silent thing that everyone had agreed on.

And Keith hated it.

So no, he didn’t wan’t Lance to go see Blue, because he apparently was a selfish bastard but he couldn't say no, he could never say no but…

“Can I go?” Keith whispered as he tugged off at his Blade suit, he saw how Lance’s shoulders tensed and he grimaced, “Or I can—I can wait, sorry, it’s you and Blue, I know, I know. Sorry. Yeah, it’s fine.”

Keith finished with the suit and wrapped himself in Lance’s blue robe, Lance raised a brow at this.

“What? I can’t help it,”

Lance chuckled, kissing his forehead and then his nose, “I’ll be back soon,”

“Alright, I’ll be here, I guess,”

Lance rolled his eyes, his fiancé was adorable when he was grumpy, Jesus, “ _You guess,_ alright, whatever, get some sleep I’ll wake you up, promise,”

Lance kissed his forehead again and disappeared from the room. Keith had to control himself and not follow him. Keith didn’t sleep, he just stared up at the ceiling for an infinite amount of time until Lance came back, and when he did his eyes were rimmed red, a slight bruise forming on his temples where he had probably massaged them.

“Lance?” Keith opened his arms and Lance fell into the bed with him, “Hey, hey what’s wrong?”

Lance was quiet for a long time before he found his voice, the only sounds were both their breathings and the shifting of their bodies on their bed. Keith pulled Lance above him, that way Lance could get fewer bruises.

“Keith, love?”

“Yes?” Keith breathed as he carefully intertwined Lance’s hands with his own, kissing each knuckle with butterflies kisses.

“I’m dying,” And Lance held his stare, unmovable, even when his eyes were watering, “I feel it, creeping slowly inside me… isn’t that crazy? I’m… I’m dying Keith and I’m so afraid, not… not for me but… for you. I don’t wanna leave you. I don’t’ want to ever leave you,”Lance's voice broke as he smirked sadly down to Keith, “Te amo, te amo mucho, maldita sea,”

“Yo también, yo también,” Keith said as he moved so he could cradle Lance in his arms, never as hard as he wanted, never as close as he wished,“You’ll be alright, we are looking for a cure, I promise. I promise we will find it, soon,”

And they both cried because they both knew time was running out. So they held each other, just breathing the same air and talking in English and Spanish and promising  over and over again that things would be fine.

“The Universe put us together for a reason, why is it trying to tear us apart?” Lance whispered, hands clutching Keith’s painfully, voice wrecked with the amount it crying he had done that day, Keith just shook his head.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

-5

(Minus five)

Lance had stopped going out of the room altogether, yesterday he had gone to see Blue and somehow it had felt final. He moved and acted as if he knew he had days left, and everyone acted as if he didn’t and it was driving Lance crazy.

He was not hurting, at least he wasn’t hurting, never like all those months ago, where the pain would be so strong he could not move, but he was in pain, always, even if just a bit. Somedays his migraine got out of control, he stayed in bed with no lights on. Keith would bring him food and Lance would snap at him, and then apologize but Keith would just kiss his temples, his shoulders, his cheeks and say it was alright.

Lance was dying and he was terrified. Keith was terrified.

“Keith?” He whispered one night, Keith was _always_ there now, he never left unless there was another person in the room and even then he would sometimes linger. Lance knew now that Keith had turned down the Blade of Marmora for good, snapping out at Thace who had called him a few days ago for a special mission. Training, space, the Galra, everything be damned, he had heard Keith swearing outside his door once.

Keith thought he could hide from Lance but he couldn't. He heard him sobbing in the hallway when he thought Lance was asleep and he felt him tremble at nights when he hugged Lance, always hesitant, his voice now always urgent when he talked with him. His violet huge eyes always searching Lance for injuries that would require him to step into a pod.

“Yes, love?” Keith said, now he always called him love, always, and Lance hated and loved him for that.

“I want to go back to earth,”

Keith didn’t answer for a long time, so long Lance was afraid he fell asleep, but Keith’s breathing was even and his hands we playing with his in the dark.

“Okay,” When he spoke his voice seemed to waver on just that one word.

Lance shivered, tears spilling out of his eyes, heart beating fast against his ribcage,“Okay?”

“Okay, I’ll talk with Allura tomorrow.”

Lance kissed him soundly, tears falling into Keith’s cheeks, Lance memorized his face with his hands, nose bumping with his as a sad hiccup left him, “Thank you, _thank you, Keith,”_

But Keith just kissed him back shaking his head,

_No, no, no, thank you, Lance. Thank you, for saving me_

-4

(Minus four)

“Lance, heya buddy, watcha doing?”

“Just chilling,” Lance said from his bed, the place he could barely leave now, “The usual,”

“I see, can I hang out? I'm hiding from Shiro, he wants to go training,”

“Of course, c’mon in, I won’t tell,”

“Awesome, knew I could count on you,” Hunk climbed on the huge bed and leaned to see over Lance’s shoulder to see what he was working with, he had a few papers on his hands that he was writing upon, “What’s this?”

Lance hesitated a moment before he turned so Hunk could read some of it. Hunk was silent for a very long time.

“Lance?”

“I want it to be you, alright? I need you to be you, buddy,”

“But— _but Lance, you don’t know”_

“I know, Hunk,” Lance said, willing his voice to be firm, “I know so I need you to do this, for me, please? I can’t—I won’t be able to… just… just promise me, Hunk. This is the most important thing I will ever ask from you. Ever. _Promise me_.”

Hunk stared at the papers for a long time, tears slowly falling down his cheeks in silence before he nodded. It looked as if everyone around Lance just had to cry now. Allura's voice breaks every time she even looked at him now, and she had cried when Lance had returned her helmet, she had loved it.

Lance hated them crying but he had shed his own tears by now. Lance hugged him and like many times in the past few days, it felt final. Hunk sobbed.

“I love you, buddy,”

“Me too big guy, me too,”

They breathed in and out together for a few minutes, catching their own breath, before Lance let Hunk go because he knew if he didn’t Hunk never would,

“Now, how about you help me finish this stupid thing I'm trying to knit, uh? I’m a failure when it comes to gloves,”

Hunk chuckled sadly but he sat up on the bed, helping Lance, gently taking the knitting thread from his fingers, which where painted with all kinds of bruises by now but they were ignored. They talked the whole afternoon, knitting and talking and sometimes laughing and other times bursting into tears. They managed to finish the damned gloves at least.

That was the last time Hunk saw Lance.

-3

(Minus Three)

“Keith? Are we going to earth? Seriously?”

“Yep! Tomorrow you will be able to see it from the windows of the castle,” Keith plopped next to Lance, he didn’t know if it was because he had just stepped out of the pod or because Lance was excited but he looked full of energy.

“Home. I’m going home. I will see my mom and maybe I can finally see my family and just… just… _be there_ ” Lance’s adverted his eyes suddenly. Keith was quiet for a long time.

“What did you want to say?”

“Nothing—“

“Die there?” Keith said after a long pause, voice wrecked, “That’s what you wanted to say?”

Lance looked at Keith, sadness painted all over his face, they had talked over this several times and it still hurts. Every time. Everyone seemed to have come to a certain conclusion but Keith was the only one left, Lance quietly knew, who had not accepted this fact. Lance didn't know it could hurt this much. “Keith, baby, I’m dying,”

“Can you please stop saying it?”

“It’s the truth, you are the realistic one here,”

“I know and I hate it, you… Lance, Jesus, I would give half my life to see you… _shit_ ,” Keith said closing his eyes, not tears again, it seemed impossible the number of tears he had shed, the number of times his lungs had hurt at how much he had screamed in Red’s hangar, all this anger he didn’t want Lance to see, but some days it was not enough, “Why is this happening? Why to us? You—Lance we haven’t even got married,”

Lance smiled as he pushed himself into Keith's chest, kissing all the skin he found there,

“Let’s get married on earth then, the very first day, I don’t care where, I don’t care how, let’s just get married,”

“On the beach, in Varadero,” Keith said as if he had memorized that line from all the times Lance had talked to him about the wedding he wanted to have, “I’ll be there, I guess,”

“You guess?” Lance chuckled, marveled, and Keith kissed him softly. He was having trouble breathing, he was having trouble living by now.

“Lance, Lance, Lance,” Keith said as he kissed Lance’s nose and his cheek and his chest.

“I'm here, please Keith, okay? I’m here now and—and—“ Lance pressed himself harder against Keith.

“Lance, you… you are too weak _, I can’t—“_

“Keith,” And Lance’s tone was final, “I don’t wanna die without loving you at least one more time. You understand? I need you to understand because—just no holding back, please, sweetheart, just… love me, Keith.”

And Keith understood.

Keith had never cried while having sex, not with Lance or with the few guys he was with on earth. The whole term of making love thing was entirely new though, and it only showed up when he started having sex with Lance, sharing a bed with Lance, holding him close and kissing him until they forgot about everything and anything was new, was addicting.  Sex with Lance was great, it was rough and it was hot and it left him aching for more every time.

But making love? It was something that should be cataloged as an entire experience, because it was slow, and it was sweet and it was passionate and he wanted to drown in Lance, and hold him for the rest of their lives to just kept them there. Together. And Keith was happy he had never made love to anyone else.

That night he cried for the first time and Lance cried too, and it was world chattering the amount of love he had in his veins and in his bones and in every inch of his body for the man he was kissing so hard Keith was sure it was going to bruise. It was moving, and it was sad, and it was exhilarating,  and it was _everything at once_ and Keith understood why it was called making love everytime time Lance touched him.

Keith would never love anything or anyone the way he loved Lance McClain, he was _certain_ of this, confident even. The way the sky was blue, and the ocean was vast, how he could found him in a crowd in seven seconds, the same way he knew Lance’s smile by heart or the way the sun sets in thirty planets now. How he looked just kissed, and how sad he could get, how snarky or how many buttons he had to push for him to snap or laugh.

And he told Lance everything, all the things Keith had always swore he would never said out loud and Lance told him all the things he promised he would never say out loud.

And Keith would always love Lance.

And Lance would always love Keith.

No matter what came tomorrow.

And it should not have been something sad to find out.

 

-2

(Minus two)

Earth could be seen from the castle’s huge windows, it was still far, they were somewhere between near Saturn, but even then everyone stared at the enourmous planet at it in awe, finally one solar system they could recognize.

Lance was back again in a pod, he would be there for a whole day before going down to earth, the castle was quiet because Hunk and Pidge had gone back to earth, they needed to break the news to Lance’s family first, they needed to be ready because they all knew Lance could only have a month, tops, and it was sad to think that Lance’s family had waited years to see him to only have him for a few days but it was better than nothing.

Shiro and Keith were sitting along with Coran in front of Lance’s pod. Bruises still lingering on his skin, no amount of time in the pod now could reverse them. Coran would sniff from time to time.

They didn’t talk, it was an unusual trio, but they all loved Lance in different ways so they sat there, side by side, waiting for Lance to wake up.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

-1

(Minus one)

They were in the hangar, waiting for Hunk and Pidge to return from earth so they could start their trip back when they got a call from N’mi, a doctor from one of the planets they had asked for help.

“Green Paladin, Green Paladin, are you there?”

Allura turned the signal closer to her, a real size full body hologram of said doctor showing in the hangar, “Hello, N’mi, I’m afraid she’s not here at the moment, but you can tell me, are you alright?”

“Princess! Hi! Yes, I’m fine, thank you. I was just contacting her because we found a lead in the investigation regarding the Blue Paladin,”

“What?!” Shiro said stepping closer, away from the window where earth could be seen huge and round and green and blue, “What kind of lead?”

The alien smiled, “We think we have managed to fix the problem with the virus TX-45, it was just a test in a corrupted blood vial but it worked, the tainted cells of the blue paladin had started to disentangle from the human ones, it’s a slow process, and it might be a bit painful but we are confident we can try it on him if he’s willing,”

Keith couldn’t believe his ears, Lance was resting on his room waiting, saving energy, but he didn’t need to ask him to know his answer, “He is, he is willing, can we—how can we? How long?”

“We still need to run a final test before attempting it on the blue Paladin, there are variables but—“

_“How long?”_

“Seven quintants, just to be sure,”

Keith felt his eyes water, he nodded,seven quintants, they could work with two months. Somehow. He had to make it work.

“Okay, we’ll be there,” Allura said, grinning from ear to ear, “We are eternally grateful with you N’mi,”

“You helped to save us, we can only return the favor, Princess, it’s an honor.”

Keith was already running out the hangar,

“Lance, Lance they found it, they found it!!” He was yelling because he didn’t fucking care anymore, he runs so fast he reached their room in record time, he barrels inside it, Pidge’s things clattering to the ground as he entered, “Lance they—”

Lance was on the floor, passed out cold, bruises littering his body even though he had stepped out the pod minutes ago.

“No, no no no, nonono when we are so close, no,” Keith said under his breath as he gathered Lance in his arms, “Lance, Lance there’s a cure, but I need you with me, alright?” Keith realized they didn’t even have a few Vargas, how can he manage to get Lance seven whole quintants?! “Lance you promised, you promised... you—“

“Keith? Hey, hey hey, I’m here,” Lance said weakly but with a smile, opening his eyes in Keith’s lap, “I’m here,”

“Oh my god, Lance,” Keith quickly rose from his spot on the floor and lifted him gently, bridal style, he didn’t have time to waste, not even to be relieved. He slowly but surely walked down the corridor towards Shiro and Allura, he needed to talk to them. Now.

“Are we going to earth?” He said sleepily, “I want to see it,” he burrowed his face in Keith’s chest,

“It’s just past the window, dummy,” Keith said softly, he felt as Lance tensed when he raised his head and looked past the windows as Keith hurried down the corridor and then hesitated, he stopped at the next one, seeing how big and blue Lance’s eyes were. Lance always said earth was the most beautiful thing to ever exist but Keith could make a whole book larger than all of Harry Potter’s books combined against that. Lance, even now, took Keith’s breath away.

Keith stood there for a whole minute, tearing his eyes apart from Lance, seeing the same earth that Lance was seeing, just to try and understand how something like this could marvel the human in his arms so much. And he realized then that he didn’t want to live in a world, universe, or reality where Lance wasn’t with him. He took a deep breath.

“Lance, love?”

“Yes, Keith?” Lance said in a whisper, eyes fixed on the planet he called home.

“I—we got a call, they found a cure,”

Lance’s eyes turned to Keith, and Keith slowly, gently placed him on the floor, he sat with him facing earth, but Lance’s eyes were focused on Keith instead.

“What?”

“The people of N’övail, they found a cure, but… but we need to go right now,”

Lance’s eyes obscured and looked at earth again, Keith allowed him a few seconds before he spoke again, his eyes traicing Lance's face like a map

“I know, I know we are here, I know we are literally here but… Lance, you can come again, and not just for a few days but… but forever, years, I’ll bring you and we will get married and we will grow old together, your promised, didn’t you?,” Lance was silently crying as he looked at the vast ocean of the earth, not as blue as the blue in Lance’s eyes, “I’ll fucking quit this universe saving thing if that’s what you want, I’ll do anything, we will come to earth and build a house on the beach and we will make love every day, and we will adopt kids, I hate kids but I love you and— let me take you there, please, please, Lance _please_ , I won’t—I won’t if you….” And Keith was aware he was begging, he was very aware and he didn’t care one bit, and he wasn’t bluffing either, he would quit being a paladin if that would make Lance agree, he would toss away his bayard into the deep of the oceans and he would build that fucking house on the beach with his bare hands if he agreed. And the fucking universe knew he would if Lance agreed, “They said it would be ready in a few days,”

He would do anything.

“And if it doesn’t work?” Lance finally whispered, “If I lose this chance… and we don’t make it? We—I don’t have days, Keith. I don’t.”

Keith was silently crying now along with him, but his eyes were set, “Lance, are you willing to try?”

“We don’t have time, Keith, not even for one day, how can we—” Lance said miserable but Keith shook his head.

“Lance, you promised to grow old together with me, didn’t you, fucking bastard? So stick to it!”

“I want to, Keith, oh my God I want to, but how?” Lance was holding Keith’s hands so hard it hurt, “I promised then and I promise it now, you are the fucking love of my life, so there, there I said it! Happy? I want to live but how, Keith?! How?!”

“I have a plan, do you trust me?”

Lance stared into his eyes for a long time but he nodded, before looking back at earth, “You promise to bring me back? Keith promise me. Promise me for everything you love, I will come back to earth one day,”

Keith nodded, and he was dead serious, “We will, together, I promise,”

Lance stared for an infinite amount of time towards earth, he placed his open palm against the glass as if that way he could reach it, before he nodded, when he looked back at Keith his blue eyes were set,

“Alright, Samurai, let’s go,”

Allura and Shiro helped him, Lance changed into a special suit, this one wasn’t white, this was black with blue lines that adorned his body beautifully, Coran was talking with Lance over the process while Keith talked with Shiro at the corner of the room.

“It’s just going to be a few weeks, months tops,”

“But… Keith what if he’s right and this doesn’t work, he’s finally back home,” Shiro's eyes were red and watery, Allura was sniffling, everyone was crying silently but nobody fucking cared,

“He can live, Shiro, they found a cure _he can live_ , let’s… let’s just _try,”_

Shiro was breathing hard, he quickly pushed away the tears from his face and looked at Lance who was talking with Allura now. His hands between hers as she said something to him in altean and Lance giggled because he recognized what she had said.

“Okay, okay but— talk to him Keith we need to arrange some time limit… if this doesn’t work… he deserves to wake up,”

“It will work,” Keith said confidently.

And he had never been so wrong in his life.

“Shouldn’t we wait for Pidge and Hunk?” Lance said but he was already collapsing on the bed, “I want to say goodbye,”

Allura petted his hair,”You will be gone just a few earth months, you will see us all again, Li’zölra”

Lance raised a brow, testing the new altean word

“Li’zölra,” Allura nodded, “It’s a promise,”

“If a princess says so, then who I am to argue?” But Lance, even as a bruise crawled past his collarbone, was still looking at the metal doors as if waiting for Pidge and Hunk to show up.

“Of course, Lance,” Allura giggles wavered as she kissed his cheek, “My favorite sharpshooter,”

“I knew you had a thing for me from the beginning, I totally knew,” Lance said with a smile and Allura almost broke up, he hugged him before Lance visibly paled, breathing harshly, bruises already forming on his hands and temples.

“Okay, fine, no waiting, I feel… I’ll apologize later,” Lance said as he looked around. Shiro had already hugged him, along with Coran, and they have all talked to him by now. Keith and Shiro helped him to raise from the bed and steer him to a pod at the center of the room.

Lance will enter the pod in an eternal cycle, Allura called it, it would heal and mantain his body as it was, until the cure was ready, it was the same cycle Coran and her had entered when they were frozen in time.

You see, when you enter a healing pod, you get cured, but you also get older, otherwise, each paladin would’ve lost month’s of their lives due to the amount of time they spent inside them, this way Lance would be preserved, no brain damage, the pod would heal him, as the pods do, but now he would not be stepping out, he would just be… frozen, for a few months, until they found Lance’s cure to bring him back.

Shiro said something to Lance before he departed, Lance stared at him before nodding and then, as if unwillingly to let go, he clasped Lance’s shoulder before walking back until it was only Keith and Lance by the open door of the pod.

Keith hugged Lance for a long time, Lance sniffing into his neck, they didnt needed to say anything, everything was said and done, and yet Lance hugged him fiercely again.

“Te amo, Keith Kogane, always”

“Yo también, siempre,” Keith replied and Lance smiled against his neck, even if Keith could feel his tears raining on his shirt, he chuckled and it was sad sound.

“You learned a few things,”

“Had a good teacher,” Keith said before softly letting go of Lance, he kissed his nose and each cheek with reverence, he pushed himself to the tips of his toes so he could kiss Lance’s forehead. He kissed each eyelid, and each tear, “I’ll be here when you wake up, I guess,”

“You guess,” Lance said but his voice was wobbly as he traced every inch of Keith’s face, blue eyes fixed on violet ones, “Keith, Love, If I don’t make it—”

“You will,”

“If they fail then, if the doctors fail, promise me you will unfreeze me. Promise me, Keith,”

Keith didn’t know if he could keep that promise,

“A year,” Lance told him, searching his eyes, “that’s the amount of time I’m willing to give up. One year for them to find a cure, then… if they don’t… I want to be home, _I wanna be home_. I want to be on earth, with you. Alright? Promise me, for a month, for a week, or for a day. Just. Promise me, Keith.”

Keith took a shaky breath, “I… I promise I’ll unfreeze you. Once you are safe and sound, I will,”

Lance furrowed his eyes brows but he whined next, another bruise forming on his chest, he could feel it spreading, hurting, burning everything in its wake, it had never felt like this before, he could feel that Keith was starting to get away but he refused, not yet, not just yet.

“Take care of him, Shiro,” Lance pleaded, holding at Keith with everything he had left, “He hates cats, and likes the color green even if he denies it, and loves milkshakes even if he’s lactose intolerant, and he knows more Spanish than he lets on and he has always wanted to learn Japanese but he never told you and… and—“

“It’s okay, I’ve got him, Lance, please, please you take care of yourself,” Shiro said not bothering with the tears anymore, “We will be here,”

“We will find a cure,” Allura said as Lance stepped into the pod, Keith going in with him, “We will fix you, Lance, I’ll bring you back to earth,”

“And Blue! Keith, take care of my lady blue, we said goodbye but… but… she…”

“I will,” Keith promised once again, nodding along with Lance, “I will, God I wish I could be frozen here with you,”

Lance hugged him tight and kissed him one last time, “You can’t have everything, Love. Keith. Keith, Keith, Keith. My love.”

“Yours,” Keith nodded into his neck, “Always,”

“Siempre,” Lance agreed before he finally teared Keith apart, shaky hands and face already bruised enough that no more caramel skin showed anymore, “See you in a few months?”

“You got it, Love,”

Keith does not know exactly how, but he managed to step away from the pod, and he watched and he remembers, with annoying and painfully clear memory, how everything he loved was taken away from him to be frozen in time at the other side of a glass.

 

0

(Zero)

When Hunk and Pidge came back they were angry and sad and tired and they yelled at all of them, after the shock of seeing Lance on the pod, the numbers for the first time going up to an infinite amount instead of down, they had lost it.

“Traitors! How could you do this?!”

“Pidge, Pidge he will live, we will find a cure, N’mi called, she has a cure,” Keith tried to reason, the whole team Voltron was either sobbing or crying or staring at the healing pod and it was the first time in years that Team Voltron would break to never recover.

“She better do, you fucking idiot, what have you done?! We just told Lance’s family he was going back!!!” And that was Hunk, who never yells and never swears and Keith prayed he was right, “We just told them this and now what are we supposed to do? Thought of that? ‘Hey, just kidding, your boy it’s not coming back anytime soon, sorry!?’”

“Tell them the truth!” Allura said, losing her cool for the first time ever, “Tell them we are saving him, tell them we are finding a cure, that Lance will reunite with them safe and sound and healthy to enjoy another day,”

“Allura,” Shiro said with a hand on her shoulder, “Allura breath,”

“It was not easy,” She was crying now, calmer, “But I can’t— He’s my friend, I won't let anything happen to him, he will be safe in the pod, until we find a cure,”

“Go down there, now,” Pidge lost it, “Shiro I don’t fucking care, it’s your turn, go to Lance’s family and explain what happened because I can’t. Visit your own family, Hunk and I did, I can’t even _—why did you do this, fuck!!”_ Pidge screamed, her eyes were fixed on the pod in front of her, before her eyes looked back at Lance, she kicked the pod with her fist... and didn’t stop. Keith jumped startled, her hand was bleeding but no one dared to even more, “Why didn’t you wait?! Why didn’t you wait for me, uh?!”

Pidge sobbed so hard she fell to her knees, Keith wanted to hug her but he knew that at the moment Pidge hated everyone in this room, especially him.

“You had no right to convince him of this, you… you…” Hunk had a piece of paper in his hands, clasped securely, even if in his anger he was taking care of that with reverence, “Lance wanted to die on Earth and you didn’t let him, Keith,  _what the hell man?!”_

“Lance is dying!” Keith cried and Pidge sobbed harder, “Lance is dying and there’s a cure, a small chance but a chance I’m going to take, what’s wrong with wanting him to live another day?!”

“Everything!! Lance didn’t wish for a cure until you surely convinced him, Keith,  _he was ready to die,_ he planned the whole day to spend with his family.”

“Hunk!! I can’t _believe—”_

“It fucking hurts, I want him to live but guess what Keith?!  You are playing God here, with these healing pods we have been playing at it for a long time.”

“What?” Shiro said, “Hunk, we just want to give Lance a chance.”

“Don’t you get it?” Hunk said, and now he understood why he had been in charge of Lance’s letters, why Lance had asked him and him alone to deliver his last words. “On Earth we don’t have this technology _, Lance had cancer cells, Shiro_ , most probably at his late thirties, maybe sooner, he would’ve gotten cancer and he would’ve d-died.” He was quiet for two seconds to let that information sink in. “He managed to get some type of alien cancer in fucking space, don’t you see? Universe…. _The universe_ , you don’t let it— of course you don’t because Lance had to explain to me, Jesus.”

“What do you mean? Hunk _what do you mean—“_

“Lance was meant to die, in space or on earth,” Hunk said, voice wrecked, big tears falling, “He… we are trying to save someone so hard _… against every possibility_ … when Lance was just—“

“I will fucking hit you if you finish that sentence,” Keith said enraged, “I swear!”

“Then explain to me Keith, what the fuck are we doing then?” Hunk said and for once Keith didn’t answer, Hunk waited before he glared, if anything it seems as if Hunk was going to punch him now, instead he stalked away from the medical bay.

Everything was quiet for a moment, Pidge now slumped against the pod, tired to the bones. Keith finally sat on the floor, feeling empty and hollow and broken.

Shiro didn’t move for a long time and Keith could see that to some extent he agreed with Hunk but Keith didn’t care, if the universe wanted a battle of who could have Lance, Keith was in for the long run. Coran was quiet, staring at the pod before he nodded, pushed his shoulders back and walked away from the room.

“Shiro, I’ll go with you to earth, I’ll help to clear things with Lance’s family,” Allura said quietly after a long moment.

Shiro left the room in a daze being lead by Allura, the metallic door closed after them, only Keith and Pidge were left there, they would have to wait a whole day before moving to N’övil, and so Keith didn’t know where to be beside there.

They were probably there for hours, just existing. Pidge hugging the pod lazily as Keith focused on his breathing.

In just a second he had managed to break everyone on this damned ship. But he would fix them. He would fix Lance and that would fix everything so he could deal with the glares and the pity smiles for now. He could deal with all of that.

 “I love you, Keith,” Pidge talked from where she was, back still turned towards him, so suddenly Keith was startled to hear her voice, it was so quiet Keith thought he had imagined it,

“Me too,” Keith said after a moment, “I’m sorry, Katie, I do and I—“

“But I will never forgive you for this,” Pidge said and finally turned, hands still lingering on the pod, eyes sad, she wasn’t angry, she was sad, so terribly sad Keith could see it in every inch of her body, her voice broke as she spoke,“I love you but I don’t think I can forgive you, you understand?”

And she said that sentence as if it didn’t make sense in her head either, but somehow it was true, she nodded to herself before she went back to stare at the pod.

Keith didn’t say anything. He just nodded. Even if she wasn’t watching him.

He would bring Lance back to earth. And Lance will hug his Mama and his Papa, and all his sisters and brothers and siblings he had missed terribly. And they would build a house and get married in Varadero Beach and Pidge would forgive him and hug him again. And Hunk will not glare at him and he would bake for Lance for an entire year. And Shiro will not pity him and will teach Lance all the things Lance had been shy to ask. And Allura will stop feeling guilty and will stop looking at her Sharpie Pink helmet without crying and Coran would joke again about his mustache and have a partner to call and share stories about Altea again.

And everyone would be happy again.

He had promised.

**2520**

**(Two thousand, five hundred and twenty)**

Keith remembers, quite clearly, with unwise and painfully accuracy, the day everything he cared and loved in this world was taken away from him. It still haunts him, years later. Even if in that moment he couldn’t quite process it… he remembers.

But today, today might be the day.

 

We had plans, we had visions, now I can't see ahead  
We were one, we were golden  
Forever you said  
  
But I can't be sober, I cannot sleep  
You've got your peace now, but what about me?  
  
I thought we had the time, had our lives,  
Now you never get older, older  
Didn't say goodbye, now i'm frozen in time,  
Getting colder, colder  
One last word, one last moment, to ask you why  
You left me here behind

  
You said you'd grow old with me

 


	2. AFTER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life After Lance.
> 
> It was hard, and sometimes easy, and sometimes it was happy and sometimes it was sad.  
> But Life kept on moving.  
> Even if Keith does not realize it.  
> It kept moving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow guys! I'm blown away in the reception of the story, I thought I was going to get like, one review.  
> So here's the second chapter.  
> That is long long looooong.  
> One chapter left!!  
> Which is going to be so incredibly impossible to write.  
> But trust my smiley face (:  
> things will be alright in the end! ((:
> 
> EDIT: 08/01  
> Also a huge, huge shout out to my Beta; [Kenshin's soul!](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kenshins_Soul/pseuds/Kenshins_Soul)who helped me to finish editing this chapter. Thank you so much! 
> 
>  
> 
> I think no one will cry on this one!! So kudos for that?

3115

(Day three thousand, one hundred and fifteen)

“We are confident that this new discovery has helped us to understand how the corrupted cells can align themselves with the humans ones,” Alitä, the Head Doctor in the investigation, was telling the team. She was showing some holograms on a large screen and as she talked she motioned and pointed at different parts of Lance’s scans, both corrupted and healthy, along with many others that were born due to the vast investigations across the universe, “Therefore we have been working on a not lethal way to reverse the process.”

Pidge was nodding along as she stared at a new scan, “We already know how the meld happens, but the tear of the humans cells, along with his genes, was that solved? I was reading your last charts on the process before landing, the genes separated themselves, but they created new ones in the process, aligning themselves differently than the original DNA, am I correct?”

“Indeed, that was the lastest test, however, in this new one we took that into account, Green Paladin, we met with the Olkary for this,” Another doctor said, way older than Alita and with blue skin, Pörlack, he thinks his name his. Keith turned his attention to him, “They gave us a new way to explore the sickness, so we created this new medication that can detect and differentiate the humans cells from the corrupted ones, it cannot heal them, I’m afraid, it’s not exactly a cure but it can isolate them, which instead of separating the cells destroying the DNA and the humans cells, just takes away the Cancer 114 cell, preventing the DNA to change in the process.”

“Like water with acid or oil,” Hunk mussed, tapping his chin, “That will isolate the particles but not eliminate them from his body, correct? Are they still going to be sensed as part of a DNA code? They will still… live inside him?”

“Exactly,” One of the doctors said amused, Team Voltron never ceases to amaze the doctors, “But this is a monumental advance. Now, this is the reason you were called here today, Paladins and Princess, the process to eliminate the cells, once separated, should be an easier process. You see, the first part of the treatment locates the cells, but we need a second part where a new medicine enters the subject's body, finds these cells, and not only isolates them, but also—“ And at this, with one of his four hands, the doctor made a fist, and then he covered that fist with the other three hands,”—The second medicine should cover the isolated parts, so they can no longer attach to any living cell on the organism. Then, and only then, you may think about eliminating the corrupted cells from the body.”

“How do we do that?”

“That’s why we met with the Olkary before suggesting this method. All that’s left to do would be building a special x-ray machine that will eliminate all contaminated cells…but that’s a field, we are afraid, that we do not excel at, Paladins.”

“A special x-ray cannon can be constructed,” Pidge waved a hand in dismissal, “One that aims solely for the corrupted genetics cells. Our pods at the castle can function exactly like that, however, how much time it will take to create a substance that can do this? The second part of the treatment, how much time will Lan— _our ally_ will need to be under this process? I need the assurance that not only the born new-cells can be eliminated but also the mother cells, we can’t afford our ally to fall sick again, after all.”

“We have given large thought to that exactly,” Alitä said as she moved around some scans and finally reached an investigation that she projected in a large screen for all to see, “The pod, in which you said you have placed your ally inside, heals all corrupted cells that _are born_ from the mother cells ones, correct? But it does not destroy them. We need to isolate and eliminate all particles from Cancer 114 before giving your Ally the second part of the treatment, it should be administrated way later than the antidote, just to be sure no receding sickness remains.”

“So he needs to go sick, _again_ ,” Keith said for the first time in hours. Alitä shook her head.

“No, not in the slightest, by the way the Golden Paladin and the Green Paladin talk about this pod it will not be necessary, I think the process will be fairly simple, to be honest.”

She motioned with her blue hands towards a screen where all paladins focused their attention on, it showed with remarkably clear graphics how the cure will go all around Lance’s system trapping all mother infected cells, isolating them before the separation process began.

In the screen a cell was divided in two, forming two independent blue and green bubbles. Keith had never hated a color as much as he hated green these past few years. In all planets, in all systems and researchs, somehow, _he didn’t know why,_ Cancer 114 is always painted green.

Then a third graphic appeared, showing how the second treatment; the cure, as they had been calling it, reached all mother and infected cells that were isolated and covered them in dark spots of purple, preventing and stopping their evolution.

That’s when he supposes the x-ray will work, effectively eliminating the targeted cells.

“I see, but with the mother cells isolated, wouldn’t it be easier to create an antidote that only _attacks_ the sick cells? That way we wouldn't need to create a second medicine or x-ray?” Shiro asked, eyes fixed on the graphics.

“Probably, but with an x-ray, it will be quicker, allow me to explain, for example, I introduce the cure into the pod, correct? The pod will suminister this medicine to your ally inside it. I program the pod to localize these isolated cells once all of them are accounted for and send a radioactive wave to eliminate them, not leaving traces behind, that's one of the benefits of the radiations, it is invasive, yes, but if we go through another method there is a chance the Cancer 114 particles will prevail.”

“So… he will have to somehow indeed get sick, right? Radioactive waves… they can do a lot of damage to healthy cells too,” Hunk said contritely.

Alitä nodded reluctantly, her tone was decisive but warm.

“Yes, it will be a kind of x-ray like we know you have on Earth,” Alitä added at seeing the rest of the paladins faces. The Medical Team knew how horrible it was to have Cancer on Earth, how sick you can become, it had been an elementary part of their research, “On the good side, though, the moment the healthy cells get damaged the pod will automatically heal them again.”

“Will one wave be enough?” Allura asked, knowing that on Earth several waves would be needed to achieve some kind of progress.

“My partners and myself have been thinking of that possibility in this method,” The blue doctor said, he sighed tiredly, “It will work, but one wave might not be enough, we are thinking about five to seven waves in different intervals, just to be 100% sure the subject will not only survive but get rid of the virus.”

“Seven waves… while he’s in a pod?” Keith asked, analyzing what he was hearing, he had learned long ago that shouting at doctors did nothing, “You mean, he will get sick and then the pod will fix him? Then repeat? Seven times he will have to go through that?"

The blue doctor, Pörlack, sighed, “I have to say it will be painful. He will be getting sick and healthy at the same time, cells attacked and then reconstructed in a matter of ticks. Doing it inside the pod is way faster, but it will be painful since his body will be reacting to both the sickness and the cure in a different way than if he had been awake. If you do not wish to wake him up for the process to be taken normally then I must warn you of these consequences, he won’t have collateral damage though, his brain and his body will heal, we can assure you, but the pain… will be there.”

Pidge was no doctor but by the amount of reading she had done these past years she very well could be, despite the fact that she hated seeing blood, and opening someone up probably would make her throw up, she could be the best on any field she chooses. In this case Genetics Illnesses.

So Keith watched her face warily for any indication on how to proceed but her eyes were fixed on a spot on the floor, Keith himself had been staring at it too for a long time. There, surrounded by glass, shining a very beautiful turquoise was a bubbly liquid sitting in a beautifully crafted sphere vial in the middle of the room.

The Cure. The Cure for Cancer 114.

Or so the doctors say.

They had seen many cures now and they had been disappointed just as many times, so Keith knew better than to let his hopes up.

“Will he be in pain?” Keith asked. “After the waves and the days he will need to recover, will he be in pain?”

“No, no, he won’t, the moment he’s healed the pain will recede completely too.”

Silence again. Hunk and Keith exchanged a look, this was the most they had gotten out of all cures, some cures involved losing parts of Lance’s body, they had rejected that one. Some other involved Lance to go blind. Keith rejected that one. The best one, before this one today, was from a planet that told them they could get rid of it, but Lance will always be in pain since his body will be ill but healing at the same time, something about breathing was involved, and they all had to let that one go too.

It was Allura who finally broke the silence, “But, despite the consequences, Allitä, will it work? With a _one hundred_ percent assurance?”

Alitä hesitated for a moment.

A young doctor, who could not understand what the big deal about this investigation was, just nodded, confused as to why all the paladins were so stiff, so calculating. It had worked, damn it, he had worked the past two years on this project so he _knew_ it worked.

“It does,” He finally answered above his superiors’ voices and all eyes turned to him, he raised a vial with red blood. Lance’s blood. And he moved the vial a bit recklessly, making the blood dance inside it, “I already tested it yesterday, and then again this morning with the blood samples you brought us.”

“But—the second treatment, we haven’t tested it yet and—“ Alitä said with huge, panicked eyes.

“The human blood is perfectly clean, Alitä.” He said matter of fact as he pulled the new readings he had done behind his superiors' backs, showing it on the screens, the young doctor was tired of these longs conversations when they literally had the cure but were just too afraid to give a straight answer, “The scanners do not longer detect virus 114 any longer, the first part, the cure, isolates the particles, as we know it would, while the second treatment we were working on works.”

“But how—Ethor, how did you test the x-ray?!” Alitä shouted confused, eyes on the graphics.

“I… used the last sample of blood we were given,” Ethor said, nodding towards Team Voltron, “Tested it, and then placed it inside an x-ray cabin that we use on newborns, we can’t heal a whole person, or in this case human, we don’t have the energy or resources we know that, but I coded the x-ray cabin, too small for a person but small enough so it could heal a vial of blood. And it worked.”

All the Head Doctors had been terrified to try their results in the ‘subjects’ blood. They can only get a sample of blood every maybe four quintants. This was the last one they would have for a while and so they had called the paladins in for a visit, both to show their advances and maybe convince the Paladins to give them more samples for a Final Test.

But the young doctor, Ethor, had been feeling on edge ever since two quintants ago because they had managed to get _the cure_ Team Voltron had desperately needed for years. He knew they had done their work correctly, _he knew_ it would work, he couldn’t understand the hesitance so he had tested it yesterday, and he had tested it again with the new sample the paladins had given them vargas ago.

It had been a success.

He smirked when the Red Paladin, who had been standing away from them all, crossed the room in five large strides, taking the red vial away from him with more gentleness that he had expected, and then placed a hand on Ethor’s shoulder, piercing violet eyes scanning his.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, completely,” He said easily, sensing how important this was he stopped himself from joking. The Red Paladin stared at the vial in his hands, before looking at the cure and then at Alitä. Eyes firm but imploring.

“Ethor, _what have you done?_  That sample was incredibly important for—“ The blue doctor, Prörlack, was saying.

“He is forgiven,” Allura quickly said, as the rest of the paladins walked closer to her, “We have two more, can we do a final test?”

“Princess, the cure has yet to be tested fully—“ Allitä glared at Ethor but Shiro interrupted.

“Ethor, show us the tests results if you please?”

Ethor hesitated but quickly showed them his digitalized results, Alitä and Prörlack along with several other doctors and scientists reading the projected scans, analyzing every variable the scanner had thrown but in their silence the Voltron Team found hope.

“So, was the scan correct?” Pidge finally asked, eyes almost watering as she read the scans on the projected screen. _100% success._ “Was the test done with all the variables it needed to be? Were all cells eliminated successfully?”

Alitä sighed but after a moment she finally moved away from the scans, and walked back to Ethor with a relieved smile, placing a hand to rest on Ethor’s shoulder, before looking back at the waiting team.

“We will try to test it one last time, but for the looks of it…” Alitä seemed on the verge of crying herself. Two years on this project and finally…

“Congratulations, Team Voltron,” Prölarck said quietly, still eyeing the results of his student, “It looks like you’ve got yourself a cure.”

The silence was filled with excitement and wonder, and Ethor realized this was it. He had really done it. They all had done it. He couldn’t help it, he chuckled.

“Oh my god,” Hunk said as he clasped his hands above Pidge’s shoulders, shaking her a little, “Oh my god _, a cure.”_

“We need to test it, _now_ ,” Pidge ordered, but her eyes had hope in them and everyone started moving.

“Ethor?”

Ethor turned as he went to pick his tablet from the table. It was the Red Paladin, everyone in the room was already moving towards the labs, Team Voltron talking with the team of doctors as they made it outside the meeting room and down the hall. Ethor waited patiently and raised his brows, “Yes?”

“Thank you,”

“No problem,” Ethor smirked as he pushed his tablet under his arm and his hands inside his medical gown. He started following the rest of his peers and Paladins, the Red Paladin was holding the healthy vial of blood close to his chest, walking in step with him.

“What you did, going behind your superiors backs was really reckless, you know? We can only have two vials of blood every four or five quintants,” Ethor had the decency to look ashamed but the Red Paladin was kind in his words, “I’m glad you were reckless.”

Ethor sighed in relief before he shrugged again, smirk in place to indicate he was joking, “Well, there’s also the tiny bit where the Green Paladin used to say she would pay a high price to whoever managed to find a cure,”

“Of course she did,” Keith scoffed, and that was an expression he knew very well on the Red Paladin. Ethor had barely seen him a dozen times in two years but he knew the Red Paladin never smiles, at least he had never seen him smile, but he was smiling now… and it was a sight to behold, to be honest; bright eyes, long hair pushed in a short ponytail... the young doctor was blushing before he could do anything about it, grateful of his blue skin and praying it wasn’t that noticeable, “What would you and your team want? If this works, I’ll make sure Pidge keeps her promise, Voltron is in debt with you. I’m in debt with you.”

Oh, who was he kidding? It was totally noticeable, his peers used to joke the only reason he joined the research team was so he could stare at the Paladins once every two or three months. But the Red Paladin was special, at least to Ethor he was. If anything he was in debt with them.

They rounded on a corner, the open doors of the lab a few yards away.

“You… uh, you don’t owe me anything, I’m sure my team does not want anything else either.”

Keith raised a brow, not at all convinced, and Ethor broke.

“I want a ride. On a Lion. Or maybe a trip back home. I’m from N’övil, it was the reason I joined the investigation in the first place and, well... to meet you, all of you; the Paladins of Voltron. You helped my city, you know? Saved my sister? Almost eight years ago, _you_ did, my city was burned to the ground, but you came to help us… and… and…” The young doctor was babbling before entering the medical bay where the test was going to be taken, but he knew the Red Paladin’s attention was everywhere but on him right now, his eyes were focused on the way they were manhandling the new vial of the so-called ‘Ally’ corrupted blood that looked an unhealthy dark color. Allitä was dropping a few droplets of the cure inside before they shook the vial for a moment. All doctors going around reading charts, talking with the Paladins. Alitä motioned him over quickly, annoyed he had taken so long.

Ethor deflated a little glancing at the Red Paladin, who looked as if he had not heard anything Ethor had said in the past five minutes, “I will uh… join my peers now.”

Keith vaguely nodded, not even looking at Ethor, attention focused again as he joined his team in the middle of the room to watch, as he went, he settled the healthy vial of blood on a nearby table along with the ones they had already used. Ethor watched how kind the Red Paladin's hands were every time they touch those vials.

For a man that has a reputation for breaking and burning everything in his wake, he sure was gentle when he wanted to be.

“Ethor!”

Ethor jumped into action, taking the new vial to the center of the room where a glass materialized, enveloping the small sample of blood before Ethor activated the machine with the last program he had coded. Alitä nodded when Ethor hesitated, _well,_ he took a deep breath, _no turning back now._

Ethor watched in silence, just like the rest in the room, as the vial shook slightly due to the minimal wave or radiation, the glass keeping the observers safe. Nothing happened for a few ticks, everyone stopped breathing, and then, they saw as the corrupted blood turned a little bit less dark, a normal red for human blood, and the scans beeped with the notification of the test.

Showing the same result that Ethor had seen that morning.

100% success.

Silence. For two entire ticks. And then;

“It works,” The Green Paladin whispered, voice shaky, “It really works.”

The silence broke into a million pieces. Everyone was shouting, and talking, and laughing.

And Ethor had never seen the Red Paladin cry either, but he saw him cry then, hugging the Green Paladin so hard he was sure it was going to bruise, the young Paladin didn’t seem to mind as she kept screaming something in a language he could not understand, then Paladins and Princess rushed to hug all of the medical team, thanking them endlessly. Shaking hands and exchanging praises.

The little Green Paladin ran to hug Alitä, almost knocking the woman to the floor. It looks as if everyone was eager to hug someone else.

Ethor hugged the princess, but his eyes were focused on the only person who had yet to move.

The only one frozen, kneeled on the ground near the cure, was the Red Paladin, one hand raised to his chest tugging at something there, while the other lingered on the floor, near the blue shining liquid of the cure. He wasn’t able to stop the tears but he was bravely trying to get rid of them with the back of his hands. Ethor sighed, he had read about him, a lot, after all, everyone knew about Voltron and its paladins, and apparently the Red one was the stubborn one, however, no one was really paying attention as cheers and yells and hugs were delivered around the room, so after a while the Red Paladin’s eyes just seemed focused on the cure allowing the tears to fall freely.

And Ethor, feeling a bit disembodied from the rest of the happiness in the room, walked towards him, he hesitated for a moment before kneeling down, shoulder almost brushing with Keith’s, the young doctor looked at Keith and then at the cure, before he gently raised it from its secure spot, the glass lifting to allow the alien doctor to take it. They had a whole barrel of the cure saved in the labs, so Ethor thought it wouldn’t hurt to give the Red Paladin the one thing he had been searching for years.

Keith took the vial with so much reverence Ethor almost laughed, the vial was unbreakable, but he didn’t dare say anything when the Red Paladin turned slightly towards him, Ethor’s heart was beating fast. The smile on the Red Paladin’s face was brighter than the two suns that orbited this planet, even with tears slowly cascading down his face, he was certain Ethor had never seen something quite so beautiful.

Okay, fine, he needs to get this crush under control, but his heart did somersaults again when the smile got _even wider_ when their eyes met and the doctor flushed a deep purple _again_. Quiznack, the Red Paladin was really handsome, even if he was at least five years older than him, “Red accepts.”

“W—what?” Ethor said confused as The Red Paladin, yes, The with capital letters, hugged him, mindful of the important blue vial cradled close to his chest.

“My Lion, she accepts, she will take you on a hundred rides if you want, as many as you want. If there’s anything else you want, anything else your team needs…” Keith’s voice was low and certain as he spoke, but Ethor could feel him shaking slightly, “If you want us to take you home, to N’övil…I’ll take you there. What your team did today, for god’s sake, _the cure…_ Ethor, _it works.”_ And the voice of the Red Paladin broke a little **,** there was silence for a moment, in which Ethor didn’t know what to do with his hands, **“** Thank you. You have no idea— _muchas gracias_. Gracias.” Ethor just nodded, confused as to what had been said, or what was happening in the first place, “ _I promised. I found it, Lance.”_

And he said the last part so quietly Ethor was sure it was not meant for him to hear. Ethor didn’t know who Lance was, but as Keith departed and made his way to his team, holding the cure to them as they all talked animatedly, all of them crying in different moments some more dramatically than others, he understood that whoever that Lance was, was a very important person, because he had the most amazing six people in the galaxy crossing oceans, moving mountains and fighting battles and wars to get this cure to him.

“Lucky guy, that Lance.” Ethor said, with a final glance at the Paladins of Voltron, before he joins his peers to prepare the cure so it could be transported and delivered safely.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Keith watched with bated breath as Pidge inserts the cure on an adjacent department of Lance’s pod, he watches as the cure is sucked from its vial, the blue liquid dissapearing from view. Pidge is clicking on the pod’s keyboard as she works along with Allura and Matt on the correct coding, how many radiation waves they would need, and how often or how far in-between they needed to be.

Hunk and Shiro are by either side of Keith, almost as if waiting for the cure to kick in immediately. But so far there had not been any changes, the steady _beep, beep, beep_ , didn’t change.

“I can’t believe it, you know?” Hunk said in a whisper, staring at the pod where his best friend was frozen. Unlike the yells and excitement back in the lab, everyone had grown quiet in the medical bay, as if afraid to break the dream they were living in, “I… wow, I… I almost gave up.”

Keith was smiling, he couldn’t help it, he just couldn’t stop, “It’s alright, Hunk, we all did at some point.”

“You did?” Shiro whispered, looking towards Keith in quiet amusement. Keith smile faltered as he scratched the side of his neck.

“I wasn’t afraid of getting the cure,” He said in a low voice, only for Hunk and Shiro to hear, “I was afraid I would… not be here, for when that happened.”

Hunk passed an arm above Keith’s shoulders and hugged him to his side, “Good thing the universe wants us alive, isn’t it?”

“Good thing,” Keith nodded.

Pidge whistled at the screen she was staring and the three men turned, all of them on edge when Allura gave them a sad smile.

“Allura, sweetheart, what is it?” Shiro asked concerned.

“Oh, it’s just,” Allura said, hands clasped firmly before she chuckled, happy tears rolling down her face, “It seems the process will take a while, and I just—I just want to see him so badly!”

Everyone relaxed, an excited chuckle left Pidge then, whose shoulders slumped but her smile was in place.

“Less than a quintant, although it’s not exact, the process will be lengthy… and painful, but he will be alright,” She assured them, her eyes sparkling, “He will wake up,” And she suddenly ran to hug the pod as if it was a living thing. No one commented on it. If Allura wanted to cry out of happiness, if Keith wanted to smile for the first time in this room, if Pidge wanted to hug a pod. Everything was valid. They had been waiting long enough to do all those things again.

Pidge whispered something that the rest were not able to hear before Matt tugged her gently off Lance’s pod, a warm smile on his face.

“C’mon, let’s get something to eat, you left me alone with those two little monsters for an entire day, I’m hungry, and tired, and ready to pass over babysitting duties,” He whispered but Allura and Shiro both heard, they glared at him with enough force that had Matt putting his hands up in surrender, “It’s a term of endearment on Earth.”

“Not true,” Shiro glared but then he was chuckling, “Although they are hard to handle at times, I’ll admit that.”

“Do you think Lance will be able to keep up with them?” Hunk asked, staring at the pod and Keith shrugged, eyes unable to leave Lance’s face.

“He was great with kids,” He finally said, voice low, hands clutching his forearms painfully.

“Another thing to ask Lance, I guess,” Coran said, sighing before he chuckled, a joke that was only his to understand until he said it out loud, “Now all we have to do is wait!”

And Keith wanted to scream in frustration because he had waited long enough, hadn’t he? Three thousand and one hundred and fifteen days. But he had won in the end. The Universe will have to wait to have Lance McClain because he found a cure. And then he was chuckling, a sad chuckle as he refused to cry again, because damn it, he could wait, even if all he wanted to do was cry with relief, _he wouldn’t,_ he would wait, patiently, marveled, in quiet acceptance but palpable excitement, for as long as it took, all seven days with all its twenty-four hours, for Lance to wake up.

“Hunk,” Keith was finally able to speak, voice wobbly, “He will wake up, oh my god.”

“He will, buddy,” Hunk kept hugging him to his side, everyone was quietly staring at the pod, they had nothing else to do there and a lot of places to be instead but no one wanted to move.

“And he… I have forgotten how he sounds when he laughs,” Keith accepted, voice a misery because for eight years he had never said that out loud, “His voice… when he sings… I can’t recall a single song anymore, and I… and he will wake up.”

“Oh, buddy,” Hunk said again as Keith relaxed against his hold, Hunks voice wobbly too, “It’s alright, you… you made it. You found a cure, Keith. He will laugh again. He will sing again, although you are not missing much, he used to sing horribly.”

Keith chuckled while Coran sounded affronted.

“My boy sang beautifully, let me assure you.” Coran huffed, but a smile was playing on his lips.

“He sang horribly but oh my god, I want to hear him sing again,” Pidge said, as she hugged Keith too,  Keith hugged her close to his chest, “Man, I'm shaking, I can’t—can’t he just wake up already?! He’s done his beauty sleep for an eternity now!”

And the three humans laughed together. Matt shook his head as he began walking to the door, saluting Lance’s pod before he left, better start making something to eat because it looked like neither Hunk or Coran was up to that duty just yet.

Allura and Shiro exchanged a glance before they looked at the new Three Garrison Trio, all talking about what they should eat when he steps back, where they should go first, earth? The Garrison? Cuba? What would he say when he sees Pidge’s long hair? Or when he sees the little gremlins, or when he finds out Hunk is married to Shay?

Shiro and Allura just hugged but stayed silent, there was something heavy pressing on their back of their minds now that Lance was coming back to them… but they could allow the rest of the team a few more hours of blissful happiness, right?

Allura caught Coran’s haunted eyes from across the room and Allura knew this was, back again, something cruel, like the time she had gone to see Lance’s family on earth. She knew all paladins were aware, but she will have to be the one to say it out loud… just _… not now_.

Because the longer she refrained from telling her friends… the longer they will be happy.

Even if it is fake.

1

(Day One)

Lance's eyes are the color of the ocean on earth.

 

That was the first thing that Allura thought when Shiro and her landed on the home planet of her new family. She was staring at the ocean by the shore in a place called Cuba. She had seen many oceans on many planets, but she finally understood the reason why everyone used to tell Lance that he reminded them of earth.

 

The warm feeling of the sun on her skin, the vast ocean in front of her eyes, the salty tinge in the air…as she looked around she could understand why Lance loved earth so much, why the rest of her friends did too and called it home. She could almost picture it, Lance there, basking in the sun, in Varadero Beach, a place she had heard a million times about and only now she was seeing for the first time. She smiled a little, it was really beautiful.

 

Shiro as a few paces away from her, silently staring into the ocean, face grim and hands clutching absently, eyes incredibly sad and her smile faltered.

 

She had to control herself and not start crying again, instead, she took a deep breath and fiddled with the sweater Pidge had given her, both Hunk and Pidge had retrieved a few earth clothes for everyone else from their first trip, before… well, before they found out about what had happened to Lance. The clothes they chose for Allura consisted of a pair of jeans, some white sneakers—which was an incredibly amusing name—and a silver sweater that had a hoodie.  She shivered as she pulled it over her face, remembering who had a hoodie like this one.

 

“I wonder if all humans have ears like yours, Lance,” She said to no one as she finally turned around to face Shiro.

 

 _‘Wear it when you arrive at earth,’_ Hunk had told her with a very sad smile _,_ tears watering his eyes, making his voice crack, _‘We humans don’t have ears like yours’._

 

Shiro was quiet where he stood, like her, she was wearing a pair of dark jeans and a loose dark blue t-shirt, and a black cap that Allura was sure it had been Pidge’s idea, he had never looked more human, Allura thought, then in that moment; stripped from his battle armor or his normal clothes. She looked around,  the part of the beach they had landed on was deserted, but she knew that if they walked for a few minutes they would find houses and civilization, she could finally meet other humans!!  But the excitement quickly died when she remembers some of those humans were Lance's family.

 

She walked towards Shiro and sought his hand, his human one clasped around hers tightly, eyes lingering on the ocean for a moment as Allura joined him by his side, marveled at all the blue’s she could count in the vast ocean, always changing, never still, the soft sounds of the waves the only sound for minutes.

 

Maybe it was a selfish thought, but she thinks that the more they wait for Lance's family to know the truth, the more they can rejoice in their happiness… even if it was a fake one.

 

Finally, Shiro moved, “Let’s go,”

 

He held her hand to guide her through the city, allowing Allura to get lost in the haze of the ancient city, she thought how different all humans were, all different skin and eye colors, she saw green eyes, grey eyes, pale blue eyes and brown chocolate eyes, but no eyes seemed to have the same blue of Lance’s. Some people were tall, taller than her and lean and some were short and chubby. Which was incredibly amusing since all alteans where lean, Lance had once asked her this, but that had just been in the altean genetics, the term chubby and fat was an earth term entirely. 

 

Finally they took a sharp turn and slowly but surely escaped the big fuss of the city center and began walking on a shore again, this one lined with houses which were all kinds of colors and sizes, a few people were running, some were bathing and others were sitting under the sun or under palm trees. The palm trees captures Allura’s interest for minutes, she had never seen trees like those before, but despite her curiosity her heart was still heavy in her chest and so she had kept quiet the whole time, and it was enough to know that Shiro’s silence spoke volumes of how much his mind wasn’t present.

 

Suddenly Shiro stopped in front of a house. Allura gasped, marveled. This was Lance's house. She knew it was his house for the number of times Allura had seen it reflected out of his thoughts when they make the mind-meddling exercise.

 

It was exactly as Lance remembered it to be.

 

A pale blue two-story house made of wood was standing a good yards away from the ocean, the paint was chopped in some parts and the huge windows were open. One, Allura knew, was broken, but now that she looked at it she realized that at some point it had gotten fixed, along with the new addition of a swing by the porch. All in all, it looked worse from wear, but Allura felt her eyes watering at the sight of it. It felt wrong. To be on a planet, in a country, in a beach, and in a house, Lance would’ve died to see again. It felt hollow now, to be in a place Lance had told Allura a thousand times about. Allura always, always imagined going to earth to deliver her now-family was going to be a happy event. She thought of Lance’s smile and promises over the years because:

 

“When we go back I will give you a tour all around the city, and the beaches, you will wear a bikini!! That I’m going to choose, of course, Shiro is going to love me.”

 

“I will take you out for mojitos with my big brother, Daniel! The best ones in town! Oh and I’ll teach you to dance, just like I managed with Keith, we can have a double date and everything."

 

“I’ll teach you to surf!! Camila is the best at it but who cares right? It will be so much fun!!”

 

“And my parents! They are going to love you! Ears and all!”

 

One day Lance would see this, Allura thought firmly, willing the tears away with a very impressive power of will. And she will do everything he had wanted to do.

 

Shiro and Allura began walking to the house, and that’s when she noticed a woman sitting at the entrance, just where the house made a shadow, she had been so unmovable Allura had missed her at first glance. In her hands there was a picture she was holding with reverence, along with a letter, Shiro and Allura hesitated a few steps away but the moment the woman sensed them she stood up, brows furrowed together in confusion, but the second her eyes landed on both of them understanding fell into her features, she understood rather quickly that these two people in front of here were here to meet her.

 

She clutched the white paper closer to her chest, and waved them over, a watery smile on her face, as they approached her Allura noticed that inside the house other people were reunited, talking in excited shouts and hurried whispers that she had no chance to comprehend.

 

They were probably still talking and getting ready for a person that would no longer arrive. Allura held Shiro's hand tighter, she looked towards Shiro who had haunted eyes.

 

"Breathe, Shiro," She kindly reminded him when it looked as if Shiro had stopped breathing.

 

“You might be Allura and Shiro,” The woman said when they finally reached the tiny chubby woman, she raised the paper she had been reading, and only then Allura realized it was at least a ten page’s document, “I’ve heard a lot about you,”

 

Allura gasped, eyes watering again, too shocked to speak, but also now she could understand the reason Shiro had been in shock in the first place. The woman. She had the same eyes of Lance.  Blue as the ocean behind them.

 

"It's so nice to finally meet you, Rosa," Shiro said after a moment, voice warm, “I promise you I have heard even more about you,”

 

And his voice broke a little at the end, the smile on Rosa’s face died a little but she just smiled knowingly and hugged Shiro as if she had known him her whole life.

 

And suddenly Allura knew for a fact that telling this woman, Rosa, who was hugging Shiro as she talked sweetly to him, and all of Lance's family—that was now exiting the house to see what was happening, throwing her anxious looks— that he was not coming back was going to be even harder and more heartbreaking than a war battle. Telling them that their Lance was not coming back _on the very same day_ where they had been told he _would_ be, was by far the most difficult and cruel decision she had ever taken. 

 

Suddenly she wasn’t all that sure and confident in the decisio she had taken, of what they had done… but she was going to have to live with it. 

 

If she ever wanted to see eyes as the color of the ocean, she had to live with it.

 

2

(Day Two)

The castle was silent.

And the bed was empty.

That was the first thing Keith noticed when he woke up alone for the first time in over two years. And for a moment, for the tiniest moment, he was confused, but the next he felt like he was suffocating and his eyes watered. His mind reminded him that there was no Lance to annoy, to kiss, to yell, to hug, or to even look at. Suddenly, the bed he always complained about not being spacious enough suddenly felt as wide and vast as an ocean.

He felt as something heavy settled on his chest then, it was a foreign feeling, one that would never leave him again.

He turned on his side, numb, almost expecting to see Lance there. Just staring at the emptiness was something that felt unreal. Everything felt wrong. Too quiet. Too still. Too lonely. He stretched his arm and let it fall where Lance should be, he gripped at the covers there until his knuckles were white and his fingers hurt. Focus, Kogane, he was telling himself, ignoring the pain in his chest, he will be here with you in a few weeks. _Because there is a cure._

But he kept staring at the bed and he saw instead Lance’s face, bruised, smiling before he stepped inside a pod. Keith rubbed at his eyes, he could not break now, he will bring him back, there was a cure and he was going to get it, damn it all. However, he kept staring at the void of space, after what it felt like hours he looked over his shoulder at the clock on the bedside table, then furrowed his brows, no one had bothered to get him to get breakfast, or lunch, not that he expected them but… it was unsettling. He turned his back to the clock and buried himself further into the blankets and pillows that still smelled like Lance when he remembered why that was and he closed his eyes again, breathing calmly, trying to appease the unease he felt in every inch of his body.

The reason the castle was so quiet was because Pidge, Hunk, Allura, and Shiro were on Earth, fixing his mistakes.

He should’ve gone down with them too… but Keith had been a coward.

It was another decision he will have to live with.

After literally falling asleep on the medical bay yesterday, he had been woken up rudely by Pidge hours later, who just told him in scarce and clipped words that Hunk and her were going back to Earth too, they were meeting Allura and Shiro in Cuba to talk with Lance’s family, amend what they had done. Besides, she told him, they all had planned on spending a few days off at least, but with the news of Lance and the trip to get to the possible cure, those plans were postponed.

They needed to tell their families, Hunk’s Moms and Pidge’s Mom were waiting for them, after all, they couldn’t vanish like last time.

Not like she expected him to understand.

Keith nodded, choosing to ignore the covered insult Pidge threw at him. He was still sitting on the floor, back against the metal wall, looking up at her. Every inch of his body physically and mentally hurt but he didn’t dare speak. His eyes moved to the side, where Lance was sleeping in his pod and he wondered. Should he go down too? Probably. Lance always talked with Keith about his family. Keith had never met them, but he had heard about each integrant of Lance’s family so much, he was certain he could pinpoint who was who without needed to be told.

He closed his eyes firmly, he was scared but he could almost sense Lance glaring from his pod, even now he was painfully aware that this was something Lance probably would’ve wanted. Lance had told Keith several times about wanting to introduce Keith to his family, always excited about the possibilities. Keith almost swore under his breath. Even with Lance in a pod Keith would still fucking do as Lance wishes. So Keith considered his options, and evaluated the variables, the pros and cons, his duty to Lance. He needed to take responsibility of what he had done, introduce himself as the person who had taken this decision, it was definitely something not Shiro, nor anyone else, should take the blame for, but he would also be the reassurance to his family that he will come back. Soon, very soon, they would have Lance back.

He needed to promise this to them too.

He needed to tell them he would move oceans, mountains, and cross the entire galaxy to bring him back. He could never hope to ask for forgiveness for what he had done, and probably they would hate him the second they meet him, after all, he was aware he was hard to love, but maybe, _just maybe,_ he could make amends.

Something must have shown on his face because then Pidge’s little hands turned into fists.

“I don’t think you should come,” Was what Pidge said with a clipped tone, stopping Keith’s thoughts at once. Looking at everywhere but him, remains of tears still shining on her face, voice wavering and raw from the amount of crying and yelling she had done before.

Keith had just stared at her, eyes huge, and another kind of pain settled heavily somewhere near his heart. Something inside of him broke and Keith vaguely wondered how just words could hurt so much, “Katie, I—“

“I don’t think you deserve it,” She said in a cruel rush, as if the thought had been inside her mind for hours and only now she had the courage to say it, If Pidge had hit him it would’ve hurt less, “You have done enough. Lance’s family… they don’t need this. Just. Just _don’t,_ Keith, okay? Don’t.”  She avoided his eyes as she kicked an invisible rock with her foot before leaving him alone.

Keith didn’t go down to Earth.

Keith didn’t move for hours, and probably would never have if Coran had not come to fetch him, it took some half-assed arguing but Coran won, so he pushed Keith to his feet and helped him to his room. He didn’t say a word to Keith about Lance’s situation and Keith was glad, his mind was still reeling and just trying to process what had happened, what he had truly done when Lance _had just been there_ a few hours ago, just trying to comprehend was a slow painful process.  But the older man was calm and gentle, they reached their room and Keith hesitated on the door, he didn’t feel like sleeping, but also he didn’t want to be awake.

Again, he wished he could be frozen with Lance.

Coran must have sensed his hesitance because he motioned Keith inside and came a minute later with some pills. Keith didn’t even ask, he just swallowed them and walked to his bed, clothes and all.

Keith fell asleep the second his head hit the pillow. A dreamless rest that was very welcomed.

But now he was awake.

And the bed was empty.

And the castle was silent.

And Keith didn’t bother to leave his room for the entire day.

 

3

(Day Three)

An alert showed on a screen in the debriefing bay, the red light pulsating constantly on and off to call the attention of the Paladins of Voltron and their Princess.

But no one was there to answer the distress call.

And the alarm sounded. And sounded. And sounded.

Until it grew silent.

5

(Day five)

This couldn’t be happening. Please, please, _please,_ this _can’t be happening._

That’s all Keith was aware of as he stared at the city below him in numbing shock, piloting Red expertly trough destroyed debris, smoke, and falling buildings.

The Galra had attacked N’övil when they had been on Earth.

They had been so absorbed in their own misery, so focused on fixing things on Earth before they could leave again, that they had missed their distress call. The paladins had forgotten that there was danger, that they had a duty, not only to Lance but to the whole universe, and that there was a war they were supposed to be fighting even if they deemed it unworthy at the time.

And they paid the price for that.

It had been Allura the one to notice the red light on the screen when the paladins returned from Earth.

Half the capital of N’övil was in ashes by the time they arrived.

Keith stopped his lion outside of a destroyed building, this was the Medical Research Investigation building of the city, and according to the map the emperor had given them, and if the red dot on the hologram map was correct, Keith was where he was supposed to be.

He wished he was wrong.

He felt as if he was suffocating as he stepped outside of Red, eyes fixed on the red dot as he moved closer and closer to the building in front of him. The map suddenly beeped, alerting Keith that he had reached his destination, but Keith didn’t even hear it. His eyes focused on what was in front of him, he could not understand the alien words, barely visible anymore, but he knew that the hospital where Lance’s research was being done was there, right in front of him. Destroyed.

“No,” He whispered horrified, angry tears escaping  his eyes even against his will, _“No.”_

Nothing could’ve survived this.

The desolated part of the town reflected his emotions exactly and he stared helplessly at the ruined building.

Behind him he could feel Green hovering in the air, before the ground beneath his feet shook due to the ungraceful landing of Pidge, she stepped out of Green in a hurry, shaking her head as she went before she came to stop at the front gates, or what would’ve been gates, now it was filled with debris, the whole building had collapsed on itself.

Falling to her knees, Pidge quickly accessed to her wrist computer, a small screen showed up, only vague shades of blue, green and black could be seen, she moved it up and down, tears starting to fall from her face but the image, and even though it changed, never showed anything red or orange.

Nothing alive was inside. No vital signs, no warmth, no nothing. Keith stared horrified.

Pidge and Keith shared a glance before Pidge was shaking her head, angrily screaming then, throwing her helmet to the side as she glared at the building as if willing it to give her what she wanted.

“No, no, _no_ this can’t be happening!! Keith give me that map!! There must be another hospital!” Keith didn’t object but he felt utterly hopeless as Pidge clicked at it viciously. They both ignored Shiro’s and Hunk’s voices on their helmets asking what was going on.

But the more Pidge clicked on the map the more she sunk further to the ground.

“No,” Pidge finally whispered and Keith knew they had lost this battle.

N’mi, the alien doctor who had contacted Allura and Pidge to tell them the news about the cure was dead, along with the entire team that was working with her. The hospital, once tall and magnificent, had burned down and all records of investigations, patients scans, and medical advances had died along with it.

Including Lance’s investigation.

Shiro, and Hunk, found Pidge and Keith working on the building, they had moved inside of Red and Green and were trying to move the debris, trying to see if there was something _, anything_ , salvable, they rescued a few machines and technological parts, but the databases were burned and anything else was beyond salvation.

The four paladins had torn the building apart in silence but firm resolve but had found nothing.

Keith felt like screaming.

It took a lot of convincing on Coran’s part for them to stop, and they only did once he assured them he and Allura _had_ found something.

The only thing they had managed to rescue from Lance’s investigations where some diaries of the process that N’mi had saved in her house that was on the half of the city that had survived. The diaries contained scarce notes with numbers, codes, and annotations. It _was_ something but it wasn’t enough, at least the Doctors and Scientifics on N’övil told them they didn’t know how to start the investigation again based on only this, not without the owner of said diaries there to explain further. N’mi and her team were the prodigies on their field… and now they were gone.

They promised to work on it despite this but they told them it would take time, their capital was destroyed, they would have to go under reconstructions and right now all resources were being wasted on helping their own people, and even though they still had the technology to start again another Medical Research Facility, after all, it wasn’t the only one in the planet, right now their main worry was to bring their planet and people together again.

“I'm so sorry,” Allura said to the emperor, her whole face contorted in guilt and sadness, “I'm so sorry we were so late, we failed you.”

“Not at all,” The emperor said confused, taking Allura’s hands into his own with a kind but sad smile, “You freed us from the Galra, you have helped us in our time of need several times, we are happy to help you wherever we can. All I’m sorry about is the fact that we couldn’t save as many people as I would’ve wished, but after all, we are at war, Princess, and casualties must happen and will continue to happen until the Galra are defeated. Voltron is here, taking care of it, so I’m grateful for that."

Everyone was quiet, no one wanted to speak, no one wanted to say out loud the reason the cure had been destroyed, that so many lives were gone, was because they had forgotten that despite their feelings they had a duty.

If the emperor had banished them from their planet and declared war against Voltron would’ve been less cruel.

“I put a few of my most trustworthy personal into digitalizing the Blue Paladin’s archives,” the emperor said before they left for the day, they would be staying for a few more days to help with the reconstructions while trying to gather as much information from the burned facility as they could, “N’mi always insisted on sharing her work, I hope other planets can work with what she left behind.”

Pidge worked on the digital archive, making it available on all languages they had on databases and easily hacked in case it reached a planet they had yet to be in. But she changed the subject of Blue Paladin, to ‘Ally of the coalition’ taking off Lance’s name from every line. Then she sent the coded and encrypted digitalized archives of what was left of the investigation to all the coalition allies that might know how to help them, she did so as she typed in front of Lance’s pod, the only person on the ship who would agree with her because sending off that investigation along with all the discoveries they had made on Phelious 114 was dangerous if it falls into the wrong hands.

Allura had taken the archives and had Coran encrypt them into the main computer, before a fight could start she had soothed them all, “We will visit other planets of the coalition and just then we will reveal these discoveries, face to face, we can’t allow all of our allies, as trustworthy as they are, to have this information, we can’t let people know we are down one paladin, for the sake of all of us. I’m not against a cure, I’m just saying we take our precautions."

And somewhat everyone had agreed, realizing that going planet to planet was the better way to go, Keith had been the first to oppose and he had somewhat expected Pidge to back him up but when she didn’t he had grown quiet, nodded and left.

Pidge had not agreed. At all. So she had hacked the main computer after everyone had gone to sleep.

She decided that if Keith and Lance can be stupid so can she, for once in her life. And that will be a decision she will have to live with.

So that night, with only Lance as a witness, she sent the most important archive she had ever owned to all parts of the universe.

She offered free hacks, she offered money, she offered protection to everyone and anyone who could help them with it. She offered them a place in the castle or a free ride anywhere in the world.

No one answered back.

32

(Day thirty-two)

Lance had just been away for a month, but for everyone on the ship it had felt like an eternity. The castle seemed dull and quiet, an impending doom resting in the air. Like that feeling that something was due to happen… but the longer they waited… things just kept being the same.

Because there was no cure. There was no cure and Keith felt like killing something.

Hunk had yet to speak to Keith more than one words sentences, he always left the room if Keith walked inside. Pidge still avoided him when she could, but still joined the team for breakfast, even if she didn’t say a word, she tried. And while Shiro and Allura acted the same towards him, Keith could see a heavy air around them.

Something had happened with Lance’s family that no one wanted to talk about. Shiro had explained it to him with a few well-calculated words, but Keith knew that just like his decision of not going to Earth, Shiro and Allura had to live with their choice too. Keith didn’t know which side was best.

It was not ideal, nothing was.

“We will find a cure, my boy,” Coran said softly, resting a hand on Keith’s shoulder once he found him alone during dinner that day, “We will not give up, N’övil wasn’t the only planet advanced enough to find a cure, we will just… keep fighting forward.”

72

(Day Seventy-two)

“Hey, Keith?”

“Yeah?” Keith said surprised, it was the first time in two months that Hunk addressed him directly. He was assessing his wounds on the medical bay, too unimportant and shallow for him to be placed in a pod. He was having trouble with the bandage around his bicep but he was managing, too stubborn to ask for help, he stopped his doings though when Hunk assessed him, they were the only ones left in the medical bay.

Keith stared at him for a moment, dumbfounded, a bit scared of what could he say.

“Good work out there today, at battle, thank you for uh… for helping me,” Hunk said before he nodded, eyes settled on a point over Keith’s shoulder, “Glad you are okay.”

Keith nodded too, offering a tempting smile, “Thanks. No problem, anytime.”

Hunk nodded again and left the room.

112

(Day One hundred and twelve)

On day one hundred and twelve Keith overheard Shiro and Hunk talking about the possibility of unfreezing Lance, at least to let him know what had happened. He deserved to know, Hunk was saying. Shiro battled with Hunk, telling him that Lance had given them a year for them to work on a cure. There was no point in waking him up just yet.

“If a year passes and we… we don’t find one,” Shiro said, voice firm, “We will unfreeze him. I promise, Hunk. But for now let’s try our best, the Olkary are still working along with a few dozen planets, lets not lose hope just yet, alright?”

“...alright, thanks, Shiro,” Hunk said, earnestly, “At least… we can respect Lance’s wishes that way."

Keith heard their retreating steps, but he didn’t dare move for hours after that.

113

(One hundred and thirteen)

Keith hacked Lance’s pod so only he knew the password to access it and unfreeze him. His hands were shaking the entire time as he coded it, going through the code a million times before he nodded seeing it was correct, not a hitch or mistake in sight.

He hesitated for a moment before he applied the new code to the pod.  

“Please forgive me, Love” Keith whispered as he stepped away from the keyboard and faced the sleepy form of Lance, shaky hands stilled against the glass, he pressed his forehead against the cold glass, his voice wavered but he kept firm on his resolution, “Please forgive me, but we still have time, right? The year is not up yet, we have time."

But only the constant beep of Lance’s heart was his answer.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

225

(Day two thousand and twenty-five)

“I’m sorry for just showing up today,” Keith was saying at the empty air of the hangar, voice rough but face warm and open as he looked up towards Blue, “I’m sorry for taking so long, beautiful. I—I…”

Silence.

“I promised I would take care of you to that dumbass pilot that you and I both love, and I don’t know if you can hear me, or if you care at all about me but—well,” He motioned to the buckets of water, tons of rags and different things Lance used to buy to clean Blue on long boring days, “Today Allura told me was the day Voltron was born, kind of, like, the day Voltron was first used? All those years ago, you know the story better than me and well… I guess… I just—“

Keith moved from one foot to the other, grumbling, he was really not good at words. In fact, he was not good with people, and apparently, he was not good with sentient mechanical beings either. He sighed.   _Lance would’ve wanted this,_ was what he wanted to say, and a million things more, like he was sorry it took so long for him to pay her a visit, he knew no else had done so, just Hunk, and even then Hunk had not managed to convince Blue to lower her barrier.

So Keith had no idea what he was doing here, trying when he does not deserve it. He could almost picture another body beside him, arms crossed, blue eyes firm as he shook his head in disappointment. _Giving up that quickly, Samurai? It’s not like she’s going to eat you!_

He tried again.

“I’m sorry for not being able to save him,” Keith said out loud for the first time ever, and he said it to a metallic cat, figures. Eyes cast on the floor, but still not moving, minutes passed, voice wavering, “I hope one day you can forgive me too."

But Blue, bless her metallic sentient being, dispelled her barrier and lowered her head, yellow eyes looking at him in what could only be described as sadness. It was until she lowered her barrier that Keith felt it. Now more in sync with the rest of the lions, even when he wasn’t able to communicate with them yet as he did with Red, he was aware of what they were feeling, and right now he could relate to the hollow and sadness he could feel engraved inside the machine.

She purred at him, a slow and grief sound. Keith nodded before he went to pat the side of her head, as if she was saying _‘I couldn’t save him either, I’m sorry too’._

Keith hugged her as much as he could, arms spread wide against the cold metal, so cold it bites at his skin but it was comforting, Blue, besides Red, was probably the only living thing that somewhat didn’t have a grudge against him, and Keith almost cried in relief.

_See, that wasn't that hard, right, Mullet?_

Blue really was the most welcoming of all. And he didn’t miss the horrible way this was matched from the beginning. Blue and Red.

“I miss him,” He whispered against her, not being able to voice these thoughts to the rest of his team, even though they knew, they never talked about Lance with him. He felt lonely even when he wasn’t. Blue purred again as if she could sense it, “I know, I know, but we will find a cure, Blue, I promise.”

Keith didn’t cry though, he didn’t feel like crying today, so he kissed her metallic cheek and walked to the buckets of water, taking off Lance’s hoodie and peeling off his shirt as he went, settling it aside, before he smirked, hands on his hips as he looked up at Blue, “So? How about a bath? Lance told me you are a big fan? Unlike red, that seems to want to kill me dare I mention it?”

Blue purred happily, as she wiggled her metallic tail in the air and Keith laughed.

Blue turned on the music Lance had installed inside her as Keith worked from top to bottom, scratching her from all the mud and grit from the last battle she had been with Lance. But Keith’s heart didn’t weight as much as it usually did while he listened to ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ for the first time without Lance to be there echoing the words, but somehow it wasn’t impossible to endure when he was not alone.

So he hummed along with the words of all of the songs while he could feel the cold and electric but also relaxing and warm feeling of Blue’s happiness swirling in the air.

Because, finally, she wasn’t alone too.

286

(Day two hundred and eighty-six)

Pidge still sometimes cries, because how a genius like her, that never misses _anything,_ missed this?! She still gets mad, she stills has nightmares and it used to be Lance the one to comfort her. Everyone new Pidge loved them, but everyone knew she considered Lance something akin to a big brother, even more so than Keith who had lost his place after what he did. They were able to find Matt a few years later and things got better for her, however, in the horrible years between Lance… _being gone_ and them finding Matt, there was little Pidge could do to fall asleep.

One time Keith found her draped in her bed with Lance’s blue bathrobe. She had just stepped out from her shower, hair still dripping wet on the pillow, she was curled on her side, hands clutching at her chest, surrounded by the blue cotton clothing. It had been months since Keith had seen her sleep so peacefully.

Keith just rearranged her in the bed, tucking her under the blankets and kissed her brow before leaving.

He knew Pidge would never forgive him, but he also knew she loved him, as much as she hated it she did. So he understood.

He didn’t ask for the blue bathrobe back.

298

Day Two Hundred and Ninety-eight

Keith still sleeps in the room he used to share with Lance, and it was still _their_ room. Keith still had his clothes on his side of the wardrobe, Lance’s jacket, that now he used on occasions, was hanging from a chair. A dozen pictures Lance had printed on a planet were lined on the wall. Lance’s little trinkets, like books, knickknacks, souvenirs, etc, were still where he had left them, as if he was still there.

Keith couldn't even bear the thought of putting them in a box. Because it meant giving up.

And he was not giving up.

He keeps punishing himself, Shiro told him, Lance was not coming back anytime soon. He was certain that going back to his old room was the healthiest thing to do. But the day he had tried that, Keith confessed to Shiro, he had been unable to sleep.

“Here at least, I can close my eyes, imagine he’s there and just… _go to sleep_ , it’s not healthy but it works, I know, alright? I’m not making myself delusional by thinking he will come tomorrow past that door but… I can’t seem to function without being here, without being in our room, what’s left of it...” Keith sighed, pleading eyes turned towards Shiro, “I can’t bear to go alone to my room, it’s a different kind of loneliness I don’t want to live with.”

It was a loneliness that was even worse than being alone here.

And Shiro had let him be.

315

(Day three hundred and fifteen)

Hunk still goes to Lance’s room every once in a while, he brings him souvenirs from their missions, and slowly but surely a pile of different otherworldly things had started to adorn every corner of the room. Pictures adorning the bare walls. Rare recipes of food were stacked in a book. Books of languages from all around the universe were stacked in a corner.

“For when Lance wakes up,” Hunk told Pidge once because if he was in this for the long run he might as well start to wish for a cure too.

Hunk swears one day he will tell Lance about each and all of them. Soon.

 

334

(Day three hundred and thirty-four)

 

"Heya there, Red Paladin."

Keith turned, trying to not look as startled as he felt, he was in a sketchy bar on a planet that looked bad news all around, he was using normal clothes, some dark pair of pants and a long sleeve blue shirt, along with Lance's hoodie, they had gotten news about  a possible attack to a new ally planet, so Keith had gone to retrieve the information to the meeting point they had assigned.

Their informant, a half-breed that was inside the Galra ranks, was supposed to meet him sometime after midnight, however, Keith was entirely surprised to see Rolo there, drink at hand and smirk in place.

"Long time no see, buddy, how are you doing?"

"Fine," He said with a nod as he looked around, the place was dark, a few lights shining here and there, making the whole bar ook more sketchy than it probably was, the whole place was filled with different types of aliens and it smelled like alcohol and bad decisions, reasons why he was nursing an emptied alien-alcohol bottle that he had filled with water while he waited and tried to dissapear in the crowd, Pidge and Hunk were outside if anything happened, but for the time being Keith was alone.

Rolo raised his hands, "I see, I see, no time to chat, hey, no hard feelings right? We are on your side."

Keith turned to him slightly before nodding, "I know, we are grateful for that."

Rolo smiled, a true smile, "Life is better on your side of space, if you know what I mean. I hope that paladin of yours has forgiven us by now too?"

Keith didn't comment, he just took a long sip of his drink, he coughed as he looked down at his bottle. Wait a second...

"Now, where's nyma? We need to get going, you see, we are under an...uh- _important_  assigment too," He winked as he looked around and then he grumbled, "Well, there's she is, with Ryú, honestly? Will she never learn?" He sighed before glancing at Keith for a moment, "Catch you up later?"

"Sure," He said distracted as Keith lowered his bottle confused, feeling his head a bit dizzy. He groaned. He _had_ been drinking water, right? 

He stared at his bottle, he remembered it being a bright blue color, and it was still blue... but something told him that wasn't quite right.

Oh, shit.

He quickly sniffed at his bottle, nothing out of the ordinary, but the way he was feeling definitely was out of the ordinary. Suddenly, there was sound in his ears and he jumped startled. It was Hunk talking over the comms. 'Keith, we were told the informant is inside, do you see him?' By the corner of the room Keith could see the vague figure of the Galra Half-Breed he was supposed to meet, he quickly made his way through the dancers towards him, they talked quickly, after all, these meetings could never be long, the informant relied the info along with a coded USB meant for Pidge. By the time Keith and the informant were done Keith was unable to stand from the table, his head was dizzy and he was at least relieved he had made it through the meeting unscattered.

When he blinked the informant had left, leaving him alone at the table.

"Oh no, no no no," He said lowering his forehead, he was having trouble breathing, the music in his ears was loud and he realized then that his microphone attached to the hoodie had disappeared somehow. He closed his eyes trying to think. Breathe, Keith, breathe. He just needed to find his way out the bar so he could find Pidge and Hunk, then he would be alright.

What was traumatizing was knowing that someone had done something to his drink somehow, but right now he couldn't think, he just needed to go. Quick. He was at disadvantage here.

That's when someone sat in front of him, opposite on the boot. Keith grumbled annoyed as he tried to stand up.

The person on the other side quickly helped him when it was clear Keith was not going to be able to hold himself straight. Keith didn't want to show how panicked he was, but he was, because he did not have half the control of his body he wished and this was not good. At all. He needed help. Right now. For all he knew this was just an attack from the Galra to get their hands on either him or the info he had. 

But how had this happened?

"Heya buddy, easy, drunk a bit too much?"

Keith tried to step away, hand clutched around the USB as he looked up the stranger, Keith gasped.

"Lance?"

There, standing in front of him, was no other than Lance McClain, dressed in the normal clothes he used to wear all the time, smile in place and blue eyes set.

"How? Why- how are you here? _What?"_

"Uh, yes? Where... where else should I be?" Lance replied easily as he kept Keith standing up, "Dude, you look terrible, where are the rest?"

But Keith could only stare.

"Hum...dude you alright?" Lance asked nervously.

"You... you were gone," Keith whispered, opening and closing his eyes that were watering because this was not real, it couldn't be, but Lance felt warm, somehow, maybe he was just really, really drunk.

"Gone where?" Lance asked confused, "Are we down a paladin or something?"

Keith raised a hand towards Lance's cheek, to steady himself, and Lance startled at the touch, blue eyes going around the room before settling on Keith's again.

"Uhm... buddy?"

And Keith felt a lot of things at once, his eyes watered against his will. Because it couldn't be Lance, at all, but he sounded and acted and had the same gorgeous eyes...

"I...I miss you," Keith whispered, "Love, what the hell? What is happening, why are you here?"

Keith needed answers, quickly, because he was losing his mind and his grasp on reality was fading.

"I...dude..."

Keith blinked, for the first time staring intently at Lance. He had his hoodie. And that was impossible because Keith was wearing the hoodie at the moment. Had he gone crazy? He tugged at the material and it felt real. He touched Lance and he felt real. How?!

"Lance, what's my name?"

"C'mon, sweetheart, don't ask me that."

"Lance, what's my name," Keith said desperately as he stared at Lance's face, there was something wrong, he noticed, in the way he moved and talked, even if not in the way he looked, "But you are gone, this... you..." Keith wanted to step away and run, but Lance retained him.

"Listen, I'm in trouble, alright? I need your help, I need to find the others."

"What?"

"The others, our friends, I need to talk to them, now, and my lion, I need to find it," Keith's mind was reeling, Lance would never refer to Blue as an 'it', but at the same time Lance was here, asking for help, but he couldn't _be there_ , was he dreaming? Was he drunk? Was this a sick joke? Keith knew he should keep quiet, but he couldn't, not when Lance looked so desperate. Lance placed his forehead against Keiths, "Please, please, help me."

And Lance kissed him... and it has been so long since anyone had even been close to him.

But Keith knew then.

It wasn't Lance.

It could never be.

In a moment, suddenly Lance wasn't there anymore, Keith blinked at the sudden space in front of him, a groan came from the ground, where Lance was holding his head in his hands, blood dripping down his nose, the next thing Keith knew was that hands were grabbing him, taking him away, but Keith could only stare as Lance tried to push himself off the floor, trying to follow him, before Keith lost sight of him as he disappeared into the crowd.

Suddenly there was fresh air and open space, the music in his ears stopped although his vision was still blurry and his legs were shaking.

"Keith!" 

And that was Pidge. He fell to his knees clumsily as Hunk went to help him up, he gave Pidge the USB the second he was sure that Pidge was not part of his imagination too, he wasn't aware he had been yelling until he talked, his voice was rough.

"Lance, Lance is inside," He managed to say, "I saw him."

"Keith, buddy, I.... you were..." And that was Rolo, who had been the one that got him away from there, eyes preoccupied, or at least Keith thought he was preoccupied, he said something to the paladins, who quickly nodded, already pushing Keith to his feet, "You need to leave, now."

But Lance... Keith wanted to resist. Lance had been there, asking for help. _Lance._

 

The next day Keith found out that he had been drugged, the new drug circulating around that planet made you see what you wanted to see, recent memories as clear as water, that's why the planet was labeled as a dangerous one, people were literally always high on drugs, after all, who wouldn't want to live there? Somehow the intel about Keith being down there had reached the Galra, who had attacked him trying to seek information, the Galra had known that the Blue Paladin and the Red Paladin were together, but they were still years away to truly understand what had happened between them. What had happened to Lance. 

Keith had been wrecked to find out.

"You didn't say anything, Keith, everyone is fine, the Galra didn't win anything out of it." Shiro patted his back sadly, although it did felt as they had lost something, "But... are _you_ alright?"

"It felt so real," He whispered to Shiro, holding Lance's hoodie between his hands tight enough to hurt, they were sitting in the bed, the lights dimmed low, "Damn it, Shiro. It felt so real, I touched him and he felt warm and... _he was there..."_

"Keith, you-"

"Shiro, we need to leave this planet, right now," Keith stood up as he pushed the hoodie up his arms again, going straight to the pod where he knew the real Lance was, just to calm his heart. The constants _beep, beep, beep_ sound of Lance's heart the only thing that could help him right now.

"Keith?"

"Far away, Shiro," Keith said, voice still rough, he turned on the entrance, eyes haunted, "Don't even remind me of the name of the planet, or what solar system we are in, let's just go."

_Because if we don't I might go down there on my own volution._

 

356

(Day three hundred and fifty-six)

They had just been in a tiring, horrible battle against the Galra, without being able to form Voltron they felt incomplete but Blue had not deigned herself to choose a new Paladin, and so the Team was trying, but that day after the battle, Allura talked with Keith.

It was definitely a conversation he didn’t want to have.

“Keith, in ten days will be exactly a year since Lance was placed inside a pod,” Allura sighed, hands trembling as she stared into Keith’s eyes, “And no cure has worked so far… I just… I just wanted to make sure you knew this.”

“I know,” Keith said before starting to walk away, knowing fully well that his only two allies left; Allura and Shiro, will hate him for what he had done, but he just couldn’t let go of Lance. Not like the rest sometimes talked about him, as if he was already gone.

“Keith, you promised Lance to go back to Earth, remember?” She said, her voice trailing after him even as he walked away as fast as he dared, “Don’t forget that, please.”

“I won’t.”

364

(Day three hundred and sixty-four)

On that day Keith got drunk on some alien booze he had robbed from a planet a few months ago, just to forget he was there, living and breathing and growing old and fighting battles while Lance wasn’t. _Because it wasn’t fucking fair._

It wasn’t fair when the love of his life was frozen and Keith was still there, breathing, _living,_ when he had _no right_ to do so when it was his fault Lance wasn’t there, because how could he still be breathing, heart beating? When he felt numb inside? When he feels as if a part of his heart was frozen there with Lance too?

Nobody understood, because everybody, slowly but surely, had tried to move on one way or the other, he knew for a fact Hunk does not visit Lance’s pod unless he’s required, it’s not that they are trying to forget him, he knows that, but they are trying to cope.

And while the rest moved on.

Keith got stuck.

He stared at the pod that contained everything he wanted and he wished to be frozen too.

He wished for it every day, one time in desperation he almost did, he almost placed himself in a pod in an eternal cycle too. But no, he couldn’t and he wouldn’t because if not him, who was going to search endlessly for a cure? He had promised Lance he would wake him up.

He keeps his promises. Always.

But…

But—

“You promised you would grow old with me!” Keith yelled angrily, pointing accusingly at Lance’s passive face, the constant _beep, beep, beep_ , of his heart the only thing in the room with him, Keith wanted to smash the glass with the bottle, wanted to feel the blood dripping down his arm, heavy and warm and hurting just like his heart every day, every time _he looked at Lance_. Keith had forgotten how blue his eyes were, how sparkly his laugh was, how beautiful his smile used to be. And it was killing him. Because he didn’t want to forget. “ _You promised.”_

And Keith cried because that was the first time he broke a promise to Lance.

He didn’t wake up Lance.

Lance had given him a year and Keith had failed… but Keith _couldn’t do it,_ when it came down to it he misspelled the password on purpose. The number of tries falling from three intents to two. He kept drinking after that and he kept saying under his breath that Lance would understand, even if something in his mind told him that no, _no he wouldn’t_. No he wouldn’t because he had asked him. _He had made him promise._

One year. Lance had been willing to give away one year.

A faint sound of a constant and larger beep dispelled his thoughts.

A notification.

He stared at the number 364 move up to 365 and Keith knew he just wasn’t going to do it.

He had promised to unfreeze Lance once he was safe and healthy. And he was none of those things. He sipped at the bottle with sudden clear and firm resolve.

That was the day Keith realized he would be alone in this fight against the universe because even Lance would not forgive him for this. But it would be worth it, Keith thought. He would find a cure and it would be worth it, Lance would go back to Earth and will live happily for years and years… _and it will be worth it._

Even if Keith does not go along with him. It was a sad thought, incredibly unnerving, but as he stared at Lance’s face in the pod he nodded. Even if Lance hates him for it…

And as he finished the last drop of numbing alcohol of the bottle, he sank down in front of Lance’s pod, staring up at him for a long time, bottle rolling to the side. Violet eyes searching a face that had been dormant for a year now.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Silence, for minutes, endlessly waiting. Keith readjusted his breathing with Lance’s beating heart like he used to do when he had him in his bed, when he used to breathe on his own accord and he used to roll on his side to make himself comfortable against his chest.

Pidge was right.

He was a selfish person.

And he could live with that.

“Even if you hate me, even if you never want to see me again, I do, Lance McClain.” Keith said bitterly as if Lance could hear him, “Siempre." before he passed out, welcoming the numbing darkness in the cold metallic floor.

366

(Day three hundred and sixty-six)

The team was in the medical bay. It was time to unfreeze Lance, as they had all promised, a year and a day had passed, but when Keith had not shown up Shiro and Allura exchanged a troubled look. They both knew that for Keith this process was going to be the hardest, and no one knew how Lance would react, no one really knew what to expect and the sense of dread could be felt in the air.

“Let’s give him time,” Shiro said and Allura just nodded unsurely, lately Keith had been acting collected, cool. As if… well, she didn’t want to think about it.

“Very well, I’ll see how Lance is doing,” Allura said to him as she moved to the keyboard near his pod.

No one bothered to look into Lance’s scans anymore, every day they received the same scans since he was in an eternal cycle where his cells remained exactly the same, but when Allura went to open the principal medical archive she saw it. For a moment she couldn’t comprehend, completely in shock. Shiro looking over her shoulder, not realizing what she had been looking at until it was too late.

“He didn’t,” Shiro whispered but no one heard it besides Allura.

“Where’s Keith?” Pidge said tiredly as she looked from Lance towards a nearby window, they were orbiting Earth since they knew they had scarcely time between unfreezing Lance and delivering him to his family.

“I’ll get him,” Coran said sadly, but in that moment the huge metallic doors opened and Keith stepped inside, hands on his pockets, face giving away nothing, but he knew by the stares Allura and Shiro were giving him that at least they knew had he had done.

And they do not agree.

“I know this must be hard for you, buddy,” Hunk said after a moment, Shiro and Allura stood near the screen in silence, he was on his own, “But this is the only way we can respect Lance’s wishes, this is what he wanted, okay? We can finally say goodbye, all of us.”

Keith kept quiet, hands into fists inside Lance’s hoodie pockets.

Hunk sniffled before he walked to the keyboard, Keith watched in amusement as Shiro placed a hand on Hunk’s arm, refraining him from moving. Pidge, who was staring at the pod, as she always did, captivated by the human inside, turned to see what was taking so long.

“Shiro?”

“Keith, do you have an explanation for this?” And Keith heard the low rumbling in Shiro’s voice, the way his eyes flared. Keith just stood his ground.

Because when Hunk moved and tried to unfreeze Lance… he found it locked.

“What… the hell?” Hunk’s eyes grew comically huge before he realized what had happened.

[Insert Password]

[Two (2) Tries left]

A huge fight broke after that, Pidge didn’t say anything, quiet as she always was whenever she was in the room, but she was clearly in shock. Hunk had argued to unfreeze Lance, walking towards Keith with long strides but Keith did not move, he did not back down. Shiro walked towards them both trying to make Keith understand, they wanted to respect Lance wishes, they wanted to unfreeze him and deliver him to his family for his final day.

“Keith, you can’t be doing this to him, not again!” Hunk said when Keith was just unmovable, arms crossed, eyes set, “He gave you a year and I agreed! This?! This is madness, Keith! This is not something you do when you love someone!”

Keith bite his tongue, how dare him to say he didn’t love him? When is basically the only thing he had done since he met him?

“There’s a cure, I will find it,” Keith said through his teeth, “We have ten planets working on one.”

“And we have heard about none of them!” Shiro said enraged, eyes pleading, “If it were you inside that pod, Keith, how would you feel? Would you like to be frozen there? Forever? I understand how you feel, Keith I do, but—“

“You _don’t,_ you don’t, so don’t even go there Shiro because I will lose it,” Keith said, voice contained and even, even if he was shaking.

“Pidge, Pidge fix this,” Hunk said with a clipped tone as he waved to the panel, eyes fixed on Keith as he spoke. Pidge was already working on it and she blinked at the code before speaking, eyes watering behind her glasses.

“He… he placed a virus— _quiznack_ Keith _, what have you done?”_ Pidge said as she looked at the code Keith had placed months ago into Lance’s pod program “I… if I overrun it the pod will shut down… and there are two chances of entering the correct password. If you fail… he will be locked there forever,” Pidge looked at Keith, eyes huge, confusion clear in her eyes. Wonder. Maybe acceptance?

Hunk and Keith yelled for a long time after that, Shiro had stormed out of the room, disappointed clear on his face while Pidge, very unlike her, just left quietly.

Keith had the rare sense that she, just like him, somehow was okay with this.

But Hunk and him were never on good terms ever again. The fight left them too scarred for them to be friends again. They would fix things up eventually, but it would take time. Probably until Lance wakes up.

But in the end, it didn’t matter because Keith won and Lance was not unfrozen.

Keith was left alone and he sighed in relief, it was only then when he noticed that the two Alteans had stayed behind. He never thought they would be the ones to support him. Allura’s eyes were still ablaze with passive anger, but Keith must have known that if there’s someone on this ship who would understand, it would be Allura. Because Allura had never wanted to lose Alfor.

They were silent for a long time.

“We will help you, Keith, I’m not proud of what you did, nor do I agree,” Allura said with a firm hand on his arm, “But what is done is done, and we will have to work with what we have, alright? We understand.”

Keith nodded in appreciation, “Thank you, Allura, for understanding,”

“We will bring Lance back,” Coran assured them both before nodding, confident as always, “I received an alarm early in the day from the Olkary, might as well see if they had advanced something on their part of their investigation.”

It turns out they were calling because they found out about a Galra attack soon to be placed into motion. No news about the cure.

So Keith returned to their… _his_ room alone. The room does not longer smell like Lance anymore. His clothes all smell like Keith now. The pictures in the walls faded, the technology in which they were printed wasn’t that good, apparently, and now even Lance’s smiles from the pictures seemed washed-out.  He sometimes forgets what exact color of blue his eyes was.

He turned towards the window in the room, he could see Earth from there, he stared at Earth’s ocean for an eternity, never quite exactly as Lance’s color but close enough. He took a deep breath before taking his helmet from the end of the end and bolting to the door.

This time no one dared to go down to earth, but this time Keith did.

Keith regretted not going down the first time, but he would do so now, even if it was a bad idea he would, so he took Red, messaged Allura where he was going to be, and landed expertly in Cuba.

Keith met Lance’s family.

And he met Rosa, who had _exactly_ the same color of Lance's eyes, and Camila, and David and Jose and all the little cousins Lance had missed and loved, along with the new ones.

And some of them rejected him, some of them ignored him, some of them tried to understand.

It was only Camila, who had the same sunny smile, who opened up to him, and showed him photos when Lance was young on the porch of the pale blue house. And it was Rosa, who told him the only reason she did not hate him, was because his son loved him very much.

So Rosa had tried to understand, even if her husband didn’t even glance at him. And Keith stayed a whole day there, telling Rosa and Camila everything they had wanted to hear, answering all questions they had wanted to ask. Sharing stories about a person who should be there but wasn’t.

He left, promising them he would find a cure.

Maybe tomorrow, maybe in a few weeks.

And like that years passed.

415

(Day four hundred and fifteen)

Shiro has talked several times with him and the team, over the past year and a half the topic never changed much; they needed a new paladin, they couldn’t wait forever, it was a constant reminder that they faced when things at war got hard and they were reminded that Blue could not be Lance’s Lion anymore.

And the topic was brought to the table again because a few days ago Blue had finally claimed Allura as her new paladin, however, besides that first moment of desperation in war, they had never flown again together. Keith had to be reminded several times a day that Allura was the new Paladin and even though every and each of them hated this change they knew it had to be done.

Keith understood that to some degree. Blue had done her mourning; whole four hundred and fifteen days, and now she was ready to start again. Even if somehow Keith could feel the sadness and unwillingness from Blue, she moved forward.

Keith felt betrayed.

He used to spend all his time if not training on Blue’s or Red’s hangar, Blue understood his pain and had opened up to him, they hadn’t bonded as pilots, but it was something close to it, sometimes, when Blue really begged, Keith would take her out for a few vargas, just to fly in amiable silence.

It wasn’t very often because Keith always somehow ended up crying, because he could feel Blue now, just as much as he could feel Red, and when they go flying _he could feel Blue crying._

And unlike Lance, he never knew what to say to her.

456

(Day four hundred and fifty six)

The only reason Keith even allowed Allura near Blue was because Red insisted, and explained, quite clearly, what Blue was experiencing, Blue knew what had happened to Lance but also knew that if she wanted to help, to keep up with what Lance would’ve wanted, she needed a new pilot. It tore Keith apart to see Allura and Blue flying for the first time. It was amazing and it was horrible at the same time, it was wrong and it was right and that was it, but in his heart he knew the person flying Blue should be Lance, damn it. And even if Lance had been long gone now, he couldn’t help the fact that he still had on Red’s keyboard a button that connected him to Blue’s video signal. Lance and him used to talk and video chat with that direct link all the time, during battles, during drills, during explorations missions. It was almost second nature to have it on the moment he stepped inside Red.

It was unnerving to have that power again.

They had yelled, and cried, and swore a lot of promises through their personal channel.

One of them, which used to be one of Keith’s favorite moments, was a bitter memory now. Lance, of course, had decided to propose in the middle of the battlefield. And it had been _so Lance,_ Keith had wanted to either scream in frustration or laugh _because of course he did that!!!_

_It was a dire battle, and lately, the more they managed to beat Galra floats, the harder it became to gain terrain, apparently, the Galra empire was finally taking them as a threat, a serious threat, and so they acted accordingly._

_Everyone was shouting and commanding orders over the comms, so when Lance, after saving himself and Blue by just a hair from a nuclear beam, opened their direct channel, Keith was confused. The connection came out of the blue but at the time welcomed, in battle, when things were this risky and dangerous, they just synced with the rest of the team over the comms, and if things got sappy they would endure their team’s groans together._

_“Lance?”_

_Keith silenced his comms with the rest of his team, so he could hear them, but they could not hear him. They were in the middle of a battle, for god’s sake, so Keith couldn’t understand why Lance had opened their private channel until…_

_“Promise me we will grow old together,” He panted, clearly tired from the stunt he had just pulled with Blue._

_Keith turned Red in a dangerous loop, eyes searching frantically as he dived away from a battle cruiser, barely able to dodge a few beams, “What— Lance,”_

_“Promise me, promise me we will grow old together, and that we will watch sunsets in Varadero beach, and that we will defeat these motherfuckers Galra and that we will live to see another day, that you will kiss me every morning ,” Lance's voice was wavering and Keith found Blue across the dark space of the battlefield, he was using his beam to annihilate a few ships that were heading in Green’s direction._

_“Lance,” Keith didn’t know other words, it seemed, because suddenly he couldn’t breathe and right now was not the time to feel this head over heels when he was fighting, god damn it!! Time and place was something Lance didn’t know how to work with, “Lance,”_

_“Keith, to your six!”_

_Keith moved on autopilot, used to receiving commands from all his friends when his life was on the line, and so he pushed forward, turned Red in a tight circle and fired upside down, once the threat was gone he steered Red to face Blue again, even from miles apart, Keith could swear he felt Lance close enough to touch._

_“I promise,” Lance said after a moment, voice low and gravely, but filled with emotion, as he always was because he was Lance, “If you want it, I promise. I promise to love you for the rest of my life Keith Kogane, just—fuck just, I don’t want just another day, alright? Without having this, between us, spelled with all the letters—I love you, damn it. I love you and it shouldn’t be this hard to be with you when loving you is the_ only _thing, I swear to God, I have done correctly. I don’t want to wait until this war is over. Because I love you today and I will love you tomorrow and after all this is done I will love you_ then _. So just… I promise if you promise??”_

_And Lance’s voice did crack a bit at that as Pidge yelled on the other comms for Lance to move because a Garla ship was coming their way. And what followed was the quickest and easiest win in the past several weeks because Keith was driven on a normal day, but today? He was a man on a mission._

_The second Red was back in the hangar he had exited Red’s cockpit running, messily throwing his helmet on the floor, he was just reaching the entrance when the metallic grand doors opened from the other side and there was Lance, breathing just as hard as him, helmet still on as he rushed to meet Keith halfway._

_“What—what the fuck—“ Keith was unable to speak as he just tugged at Lance’s helmet with so much desperation he was sure he hurt the Cuban boy in the process, but that’s what he gets for saying those things in the middle of a battle. “I want to kill you.”_

_Lance just chuckled relieved as he hugged Keith close to him and Keith kissed him, on the nose, on his cheeks, on his forehead, everything his lips could reach he kissed as he muttered over and over again that yes._

_He promises._

_He was sweaty and shaking due to the lingering adrenaline, and Lance was breathing hard because damn, it had been a hard battle. And they were both trying to fix their bodies together with their armor still on._

_“I promise, Jesus fucking Christ, I promise,” Keith said in a whisper as he watched, quite marveled, how Lance’s blue eyes shined brighter than all the stars out there in the universe._

_And that had to be one of the best days of his life._

Keith closed his eyes, eyeing the botton that would link him to Blue, but the person behind the pilot chair was not someone he loved any more, not that way.

“You promised” He whispered to no one as he was brought back to the reality.

He quickly changed that button, instead he programmed it so it could reach Hunk instead, he didn’t know why he did, Hunk and him had become barely friends, Hunk had come to understand, he does not agree, he would never agree but he understood now. Bless his heart.

So their relationship was still shaky at best, nothing like Lance and Hunk had going on.  But when Keith showed up on Hunk’s right screen he didn’t look surprised. He just smiled, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. The five of them were out in space testing the Lions’ new dynamics and while they could still hear the rest talking over the comms Hunk was looking at Keith.

“Hey, Keith, man, you think we should tell Allura that barking orders at Blue won’t work? Because, like, she has been yelling for half a varga and nothing has happened and I don’t think she got the Memo.”

“I heard that!” Allura said, still trying to figure out how Blue worked, “But… you guys are always screaming at your lions?”

And Keith laughed, it was a watery sound, only perceptible because Hunk was watching his face as Keith tugged at his helmet, he wouldn’t need it, instead, he relaxed a bit on his seat as he shared a glance with Hunk, a smirk on his face, before speaking.

“That’s because in the middle of the battle we need to yell at something, Allura, we are at war, we _need_ to yell at something,” Keith said and Pidge snickered, showing up on the group’s video chat, Allura appeared too, looking distressed.

“Just relax, Allura,” Shiro’s patient voice sounded around his cockpit, “It will take time for the both of you to adjust. And shouting at your lion definitely never helps,” He said as an afterthought.

“Oh, C'mon, Red shouts at me all the time,” Keith said as he felt Red’s insulted feelings hit him, “ _And_ I shout at her when I know she can do better,” A metallic grumble and Keith internally apologized, “Although she’s already perfect, mind you.”

“I have shouted at Yellow, like… once or twice, right boy? But that’s because I’m on the verge of dying inside of him, about to be pulverized and like… yeah, that’s how I cope. Yellow understands though, he moves faster when I’m scared!! I have noticed.”

“Uh—uh, right Hunk, and you are to tell me you have never shouted to Black, Shiro?” Pidge asked easily as she too looked fondly at Green, “And I scream at Green when the moment is dire _, only then,_ other’s because she really stresses me out because damn it, she’s stubborn when she wants to be, okay?”

“Wonder why she picked you,” Keith said and Pidge glared before flipping him off, Keith laughed harder.

“Guys, silence, this is an important moment, you two,” Shiro said sternly.

The paladins raised their hands in surrender but looked expectant at Shiro, all of them waiting for Shiro to speak, even Allura was entertained.

“Shiro?” She said quietly and Shiro sighed in defeat. After they got married it was just _so easy_ to break Shiro. Pidge and Keith took advantage of this every time.

“Fine, I have yelled at Black _… once._ Just once.”

“I knew it!”

“When?!”

“Oh, this is going to be an awesome story,”

“I just… he wouldn’t move, alright? I was there, waiting for him to bond with me, and he wouldn’t move, and you guys needed my help, so I… I yelled _… a few things…”_ Shiro smiled sheepishly as he scratched his nose, he suddenly looked way younger, “It wasn’t pretty but, uh… we got along after that, didn’t we, Black?”

Keith supposes Shiro got a warm message because Shiro chuckled softly and nodded as if agreeing with something Black had said.

“Well, apparently Blue doesn’t fancy it when I shout at her, I don’t know how Lance did this…” Her eyes turned to Keith’s so quickly the Red Paladin was sure it had hurt. There was a moment of thick silence, even though he was always present they never talked much about him, even less today, when Allura was for the first time piloting Blue…

Keith tugged at the ring that was hanging from his chest, he had bought it a few months ago, in an ocean planet they had visited and he had promised he would give it to Lance one day, when Keith tugged at it he could feel and hear the ocean, if just faintly, it was part of a charm the ring had and it calmed him. He breathed out.

“I—he— he used to just… ask,”

“Ask?”

Keith nodded, looking down at his panel instead of his friends, he fidgeted with Red’s controls, “He told me once that… sometimes, when he got lost on how to deal with Blue, he just asked what she meant… she’s like a child, either you ask what she wants, very clearly, or she won’t do it… I… that’s all I know,”

There was silence again before Pidge piped in.

“I bet Lance’s pickup lines drove Blue crazy then, they never made any sense.”

And Keith couldn’t help but laugh, the rest of the team followed, and that’s when Allura piped in, slowly pushing Blue forwards, a bit awkwardly but managing.

“She says she liked them,” She told them, tilting her head, “She says that’s how she knew he was nervous.”

The team moved their lions, almost in sync to be closer to Blue and Allura. And like that team exercises were forgotten, instead, all just focused on this moment between them; it was new, sharing brand new information of their lions even amongst them was unusual. The Paladin-Lion bond was unique and it wasn’t as if they didn’t care about the rest of the bonds the rest had with their lions, but their own bond was special, and for each of them, their own bond was the best. Keith couldn’t imagine piloting another lion that wasn’t Red. The same way he thinks Hunk couldn’t dream of ever leaving Yellow, even if he wanted to be the head sometimes.

They do not often talk about them, it felt unnecessary.

However, Keith couldn’t even comprehend why they hadn’t done this sooner.

Shiro sighed, a soft smile on his face, “He was… _is_ like that, always hiding behind big loud words.”

“He thought we didn’t know his secret? After years of fighting together, we totally did,” Pidge said as she leaned on her console, “He’s an idiot, isn’t he, Blue?”

“She says that he was not.”

“Of course she does."

“And that she liked to be called Lance’s Blue Lady,” Allura chuckled, a watery smile on her face as she looked at the ceiling, as if listening attentively before her blue eyes found Pidge’s on the screen, surprised, and she hesitated for a second before she was babbling, “And she wants to tell the Green Paladin that she wants a ‘super cool’ invisibility armor like you do, she thinks it will help her be better at the battle field.”

Pidge was smiling too, silent tears rolling down her cheeks, before Lance… well, before he left, he had asked for his birthday the same thing, Lance was not with them when his birthday rolled around and now Pidge hated herself for thinking Lance would ask for that for himself, it was Blue, it was Lance’s lion who wanted this and Pidge found herself nodding, “Tell her I’ll do it. I totally will. I’ll find the pieces that I need and I will, Blue. I promise, you will look so pretty with your new panels,”

Allura was silently crying now as she smiled and tried to get rid of the tears that were falling down her face, Keith couldn’t talk, he felt so many things at once, pain, always pain because Lance was not flying with them anymore, and sadness, because Allura and Blue would need to bond now, and Allura would feel firsthand how much Blue missed Lance, and the two of them will need to work together to overcome that bond and create their own.

But even then, with Lance gone, Keith saw him everywhere. In every little thing, even now, uniting them.

“Wow—there are so many things I didn’t know about him,” Allura chuckled breathily as she looked at the panel and Keith understood he wasn’t talking to them anymore, he shared a look with Shiro and soon the rest of the team logged out from Blue’s video chat.

Keith was the last to go, Allura looked up when she sensed the light of his screen. Keith was smiling at her, it was a sad smile, but a smile nonetheless. A silent conversation passed between them and Allura nodded with determination. Keith nodded back, hesitating for a moment, before his screen went back to black but the message was crystal clear.

_Take care of her, please. That’s all I’ve left of him._

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

784

(Day seven hundred and eighty four)

That was the first time another sector of doctors managed to understand N’mi’s work. Keith and Pidge had flown down to the planet, the doctors told them they had just managed to understand the scientific method, however, their planet was not that advanced to start doing their own tests.

 

810

(Day Eight hundred and ten)

Seventy aliens were relocated in Olkary, along with a few doctors that had volunteered and were ready to help again with the investigation from N’övil. They were given supplies, money and endless technology to work with.

Anything they needed, Voltron would provide.

They would not hear again from them in years.

926

(Day Nine hundred and twenty-six)

On day nine hundred and twenty-six they met Matt Holt.

Pidge had managed to catch another lead, and so she had left to look for him while the rest had stayed behind, they had wanted to come along everyone putting their own plans on hold because they wanted to help her, but she assured them this was something she needed to do.

Before she left she paid Lance a visit, and after that, she seemed to get the strength she needed to go. And so, she left with her lion, and the team waited… and waited. The longest seventy-four hours the team had ever endured.

Until they saw Green coming back.

And along with it, the perfect male copy of a certain green Paladin stepped out of the sentient machine.

“Matt Holt,” Keith said taking his hand, a true smile on his face, “We have heard _everything_ about you.”

“Good things, I hope?” Matt glared at the little minion who only grinned.

“Can’t tell lies, big bro.”

And he got into the team seamlessly, Shiro and the rest gave Pidge the time she needed with her brother, as the Green Paladin took him on a detailed tour around the castle. Her room. The kitchen. The training bay. The party salon. The down-time room that no one calls the down-time room. And the medical bay.

Matt Holt knew the moment they stepped inside the room that this room was important, because unlike everywhere else where Pidge just practically had dragged into, excitedly jumping and babbling a mile an hour, she stepped inside these room with reverence and a small smile on her face.

“This is the medical room, this is where we go inside these pods to heal when we are injured, but we call it Lance’s place now. Come, I’ll introduce you two, he had been waiting for years to meet you,” Pidge waved at him, commanding to follow her, her hair now was pushed into a ponytail, and even though she had grown she still looked the same as when she left earth somehow.

Matt was shocked when he saw that there was a man inside a pod, probably around Pidge’s age, he seemed to be sleeping inside of it.

“This is Lance,” Pidge said with a smile on her face, hands on her hips as she looked at Matt, “He’s the Blue Paladin, he’s from Cuba and he’s an excellent sharpshooter. I have a feeling you two will get along. Lance this is Matt. The brother you wanted to meet, remember? To have a talk? Well, when you wake up you can.”

Matt blinked, sadness clouded his eyes as he understood. He looked at the frozen man in the pod for a long time.

“Oh, Pidge, this… what happened to him?”

Pidge’s smile faltered on her face and lowered her arms, “I don’t… we don’t like to talk about it. He, uhm… he got sick. Cancer. Some type of alien cancer that has no cure… yet. We uhm… we are looking for a cure but until then… he’s frozen, for his own health, he’s… he’s…”

Matt was quiet for a long time, Pidge was unable to speak, she had never needed to explain to somebody else how important Lance was, everyone _just knew._

“He’s important to you, right?” Matt said after a while, Pidge nodded once, “He took care of you when I was away? Was he where when I wasn’t? Was he kind?”

Pidge sniffled, placing a hand on the pod, averting her eyes, “He was the best. He was like another brother Matt, one that reminded me every day we would find you. He never lost hope that we would reunite and I— he wanted to meet you badly. I wanted you to meet him so badly. I never thought… that it would be this way.”

Matt walked to hug Pidge, allowing her to burrow herself into his chest. Hugging tightly enough that it hurt. Pidge will never get tired of Matt’s hugs.

“I miss him so much.”

“Shhh, shhh, it’s okay,” Matt said, patting her back as his eyes rested on the passive face of a man he didn’t know, but he was certain he owed him a lot.  He nodded towards him.

_You took care of her when I was away, now it’s time to even the odds pal._

Matt sometimes still goes to visit Lance’s pod and just stares at his face, passive, sometimes for minutes, sometimes just to make sure Lance somehow is still there. Waiting.

“You have an entire castle waiting for you to come back, buddy,” Matt announced him one day, Lance was a great listener, “Everyone keeps saying we will get along just fine, but I just heard you had a massive crush on the Princess Allura and, _alright_ , I think we might have problems with that.”

Matt knew Shiro and Allura were married and that Keith was Lance’s special someone, but Matt still laughed at his joke. He was certain Lance would’ve laughed too.

And the constant _Beep Beep Beep_  of Lance’s heart in the room Matt took them as a confirmation.

 

1257

“Man, _I’m tired,”_ Matt was saying from his comfortable spot on the floor while Keith hovered above him, hands on his hips as he shook his head in disapproval, they had been sparring for hours now, but the Red Demon still was going strong. Matt whined, refusing to get up, “I think I could eat an elephant,”

Keith scoffed,

“What? It’s true!”

“Alright, ready? Break’s over, up Holt, we still have time for another round.”

_“You are joking.”_

“He’s not!” Pidge yelled from the top of the tower she was working in planet Xalius Phi, helping yet another alien race to be in contact with Voltron at all times, now that they were freed from the Galra.

“Oh, man.”

“You alright there, Katie?” Keith called and Pidge just saluted. Keith nodded in confirmation before he looked down at Matt and smirked, “Were you not some kind of… _amazing warrior_ working with the coalition? What happened to the warrior, uh?”

“Ugh, one thing is to fight when you are about _to die_ and another one entirely when you do it just for fun, _this?”_ Mat said motioning with a hand to the air between them, “This is you showing off and me suffering every step of the way.”

Silence before Keith shrugged, hair pulled behind his neck in a low and short ponytail.

“Eh, true. Now, another round?” Keith smiled sweetly and Matt moaned.

“Katie, I hate your Keith!!”

“I get the feeling, bro,” Pidge said from above before she looked over her shoulder, “You hate him but can’t help but love him, it’s strange.”

Keith smirked up at her, “That’s my charm.”

“I wonder what Lance ever saw in you, honestly.” Pidge deadpanned as she started to make her way down the tower.

“Ask him when he wakes up,” Keith said easily as he shrugged. He watched as Matt closed his eyes to enjoy the sun on his face. Keith gave up and let him be.

“Oh, I will. I have a list, that’s like, number seven or something.”

“How many questions you have written?” Keith said surprised.

“Like, so far? Two hundred and twenty. Last time I checked at least.”

Keith whistled, marveled, “Lance will have a field day when he wakes up.”

“Oh boy, he will,” Pidge said finally reaching the ground, “So, ready to go?”

Matt made grabby hands towards them. Keith and Pidge chuckled as they helped him up.

“Alright, so where to next? Time to eat?”

“What? We still another four towers to go.” Pidge said easily while Keith followed, taking easily half the cargo they needed with one arm as Matt helped with the other half.  He walked behind them grumbling softly the entire time saying this was not as fun as he had thought it was going to be.

“You know what? Lance and he will really _, really get along_ ,” Keith whispered amusedly to Pidge as she nodded contritely.

“Told you.”

1450

(Day One thousand and four hundred and fifty)

“I'm pregnant.”

The silence was broken when Keith dropped his fork.

“What do you mean you _are pregnant?!”_ Matt said from his place at the dinner table. Shiro and Allura were standing up, side by side, tentative smiles on their faces as they told the team the good news. “You are going to have little babies! Like, Altean babies?!”

“Oh my god _, you are so eloquent,”_ Pidge grumbled as if she couldn’t believe she was related to the human beside her, but she was smiling as she looked towards Allura, then she opened her mouth and closed it, “I. Babies. _A baby_!!”

“Oh you are _so_ eloquent too,” Matt grinned but he was already standing up to reach Shiro and hug him, “Oh my god, you are going to be a Dad! Of a baby!!”

“Altean-human babies,” Coran corrected with a bright smile.

Keith was standing up too, “I can’t—wow guys, congratulations!!”

Hunk was already crying as she lifted Allura from the floor, “I need to tell Shay!! She will go crazy!! Babies! We are going to have an Altean-human baby! Oh, how long have you been pregnant? Allura what the hell? Why didn’t you tell us sooner?! _We need to prepare!!!_ Because do we have cribs? _uh-No!_ Or do we have, Altean-Human baby food? Let me tell you that answer: _no!”_

Shiro laughed as Allura calmed Hunk gently. Pidge and Keith were around the group, Pidge already had a hand on Allura’s flat stomach while Keith was eyeing Shiro. Just when had this happened? Like a month ago Shiro and Allura had been on a mission in…

“Jesus Shiro!” Keith hissed under his breath, trying to not break in a laugh, while the rest fumbled around Allura, “You were in a blade of Marmora mission!! What the hell!?”

“Shut up, Keith I swear just, shut up,” Shiro hissed but his face was red. Keith just laughed harder.

“I’m just twelve quintants in, Hunk, relax, usually it takes about twenty-eight movements for an Altean Woman to give birth, and I just found out yesterday.” Allura said with a warm smile, “We wanted to tell you the second we knew.”

“Lance is going to lose it.” Hunk said excitedly and Shiro nodded. “An Altean-human baby!! The first of its kind! Ugh, we need to think of a cool name!”

“Can we stop calling him or her the Altean-human baby?” Allura said with a glare but the smile on her face betrayed her, “It’s just… a baby, our baby.” Allura was looking at Shiro as he had placed all the stars outside the windows himself.

Everything was quiet for a moment, a palpable happiness in the air, it was shy but it was nice and Keith nodded.

“A baby,” Hunk hissed again, “We are having a baby.”

Matt, Pidge, and Coran were already dancing around the table along with an invented song about babies.

And Keith hugged Allura and Shiro again. “You are going to be excellent parents.”

“We were thinking of heading to Earth, to tell Lance’s family and Shiro’s,” Allura said as Hunk joined his team around the table and the singing. Everything was happiness for the first time in a long time, “Since you are declared the godfather of this little child, would you like to come?”

Keith didn’t hesitate, nodding determinedly, “Yes.”

 

1562

(Day one thousand and sixty-two)

Keith stopped using his hair long and down, it just got in the way, instead, he would use it in a low ponytail at all times. Right now, he was on the training room. Things had gotten a bit laizure around the castle since Allura was close to giving birth. They were making their way to earth now, Allura wanted to have the twins there, and so they had set course so they could have a two quintants berth for Allura to settle in Japan.

That, however, wasn’t in the universe plans.

Shiro barged into the room so suddenly Keith almost dropped his sword.

“Shiro, what is it? Are you okay?” Keith asked when it looked as if Shiro was not going to speak, “Shiro?”

“Allura, Allura is giving birth!!”

“What?!”

“I— she’s giving birth and _we are not on Earth!”_

Keith ran out the room, Bayard clattering to the floor as he followed Shiro to the medical bay.

“It’s too soon!! She’s only like seven months!”

“Guess how many months an Altean child takes!”

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.”

When they reached the medical bay Allura was there, calm although in a bit of pain, she was walking around the room with short steps as her hands moved up and down her belly, taking calming breaths. Pidge and Hunk were there, trying to help but not knowing how.

“Keith,” Allura said without preamble through gritted teeth the moment she saw him enter, “Red is the fastest lion, right?”

“Uh…”

_“Right?!”_

“Yes! Yes, she is!” Keith said automatically, exchanging a look with Shiro who shrugged.

“Very well. Coran, how far away from Earth?”

“Two vargas, Allura, but why—“

“Perfect, I have time. Alright. We can do this, right? Right. I can do this. Of course I can, I'm the princess of Altea, what the quiznack. Two vargas. Alright. Perfect amount of time.” She walked towards Lance’s pod and placed a hand there, blue eyes focused for a moment before she took a shaky breath, probably out of pain. “Of course I can, right, Lance?”

“Allura, sweetheart, _what are you talking about?”_ Shiro said as he went to talk to her but one stare of hers as she paced again was enough to silence him, her belly was huge and she was running her hands up and down as she concentrated.

“Keith, get inside Red. We are going to Earth. _Now.”_ She commanded with enough force that had the whole room stopping for a moment, “Everyone else, gather the things we will need and meet us in the Red Lions bay.”

“Allura,— are you crazy?”

“Call me crazy one more time Takashi Shirogane and I will divorce you.”

Shiro grew quiet before Allura walked with little steps towards Keith.

Keith felt like bolting. Hunk and Pidge exchanged a look before they splutered to action and grabbed all the things they could find in the medical bay that they would need as Coran was imploring Allura to think for a second. She waved a hand, eyes set firmly on Keith’s.

“Keith, I will not have my baby in space, you hear me? You are the best pilot of your generation, the fastest one in Voltron, so you will get me there, to Earth, and I will have my baby there. Or so help me, Keith Kogane, because I will never forgive you if you don’t. You hear me?”

Even pregnant Allura still intimidated him. Keith hesitated for the amount of two tics.

“You’ve got it, Princess. Sorry, Shiro, carry her to the hangar? I’ll get Red ready, everyone else hurry up, and Hunk— don’t forget the special pills for the pain!“ Keith yelled as he ran towards Red’s hangar, while Shiro carefully lifted Allura before following him. The rest of the team following Keith into the cramped space of Red.

The second they were are all in, Allura strapped to the adjacent chair, he didn’t  stop to think. He called the only Earth number he knew by now.

“Pick up, pick up, please pick up,” Keith said as he launched Red out the hangar and into the open space where Earth could be seen from miles and miles apart, Earth began to grow bigger and bigger, while Allura’s quiet whimpers began to intensify, while Shiro held her hand between his as he whispered words of confort. Finally, _finally,_ someone picked on the other side, Keith almost fainted in relief, “Camila! Camila, _oh thank god,_ I need a favor.”

“Keith? What’s is going on? Are you—”

“I need your help.”

Lance always told him that Camila was like Blue. Always welcomed everyone and everything, she was the most understanding of his family when he announced them he was Bi, and she was the only one who messaged him constantly once he was in the garrison. Once, he told him, she got into a fight with a friend of hers, punches and everything, because that friend had called Lance things Camila had not approved of.She got expelled for a whole day from school but she was incredibly proud of that fact.

Lance loved Camila to pieces. Keith knew this. In the end, Camila had been the only one who had kept in touch constantly over the years. Rosa had tried at first but then confessed that it was hard for her, she told him he was a reminder of what she couldn’t have. A reminder of what had happened to her son, she does not hate him for it, though, and she assured him he could always visit Earth anytime he wanted. It was a strange kind of love, Rosa told him, the one she held of Keith. Keith could understand. 

In the past years, Keith had gone to Earth from time to time, when everything felt heavy and he needed a reminder of who he was fighting for, he would go to the blue house by the beach, the other members of Lance's family had somewhat gotten used to him, they talked with him, greeted him and waved, but were never as warm as Lance. Rosa always cooked for him and stayed after hours exchanging stories, but it was Camila who allowed him into her house, who gave him a room, who toured with him around the city, who joined him on morning runs. She thought him to surf and took all Voltron Team to a night of mojitos.

They were friends.

_If you ever are in trouble, you can count on her._

And Lance was right.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Allura had twins, and she named them Ariän and Cämila. They had blue eyes and soft black hair and they were _beautiful._ Lance used to say Shiro and Allura’s kids would win the genetics lottery and it certainly looked like it. Hunk had been moved to tears once they were all finally allowed to step into the room.

They were in Camila’s beach house in Cuba, where she had prepared everything for their arrival, she was a nurse so she had helped Coran through the birth. After a few hours of waiting, finally, Team Voltron had not only one but two more members.

“They are beautiful, oh my god, wow,” Hunk said as he held with so much gentleness such a little bundle in such big arms it seemed impossible.

“They are so tiny,” Keith said. Marveled at the miracle that was life.

“So observant like always, Keith,” Pidge giggled as baby Cämila gurgled in her arms, “Wow, I love them. And look at her, she’s so happy and full of energy. Cami is my fav.”

“What? Already playing favorites?” Shiro said as he was sitting beside Allura on the bed, Allura looked exhausted but happy. Camila was on her other side, tears down her face. She was tired too but she was radiating happiness.

“Of course,” Keith said eyeing the kids in mock decision, he took one step closer to Hunk “Fine, I’ll take Ari then.”

“Team Ari too,” Hunk raised the hand that was not the support of a sleepy Ariän to further prove this point.

“Well, it looks like the Holts are team Cämila, look at her, she has so much energy!” Matt laughed as Cämila just kept moving, her tiny eyes wide awake as she stared at everything and everything in wonder.

“Exactly,” Keith and Hunk deadpanned as they stared at the sleeping boy in Hunk’s arm.

“May I remind all of you that they are _my_ kids?” Shiro said laughing and the four of them managed to look a bit sheepish.

“Who do you think Lance would love more?” Coran asked as he twirled his mustache, and talking about Lance didn’t hurt as much as it used to, not like the first months, like the first years.

Camila laughed and everyone turned towards her, “Both, he will go crazy over them, he might even sew them sweaters.”

“I think he will love Cami more, for sure, but on the other hand, he loves boys too, so we will have to ask him,” Shiro said quietly. It had become like… a game, a mission, every time they were unsure of what Lance would say or do, they made a mental list that Pidge kept in her head, of all the things they wanted to ask Lance once he wakes up.

“He loves kids, I think he would proclaim himself the best uncle or something,” Keith shrugged as he stared fascinated as Ari opened and closed his mouth in a yawn.

“Oh he will, totally, he will probably steal them both to play games instead of doing chores; he used to call himself a baby whisperer.” Camila shared with the team.

Pidge laughed as she returned little baby Cämila back to Allura’s waiting arms and Hunk moved to deliver Ariän to Shiro.

“Baby Whisperer, I’ll believe it when I see it.”

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

“Hunk, that girlfriend of yours? She had been trying to contact me for a while,” Allura announced the next day, she was resting on a sofa with Shiro, both babies wide awake now, “They need help on her planet, their transmission tower broke again,” Allura told Hunk as she placed her finger between Cämila’s little chubby ones. “Take Matt and Keith with you. You should be fine. Might as well go while we have the chance. She said it was important.”

Keith, who had just finished his breakfast sighed, he resigned himself to the inevitable, the paladins of Voltron never stop, and they had learned the hard way what happens when they do, Matt looked crestfallen for a moment.

“But _… the babies…”_ Matt said eyeing the little two bundles in their parent's arms.

“The sooner we go the sooner we can come back, Holt,” Keith said already moving around to pick his things and Bayard.

“I’m in!! I’ll bring toys for the babies! And food!” Hunk said excitedly as Matt kissed Allura’s temple and hugged Shiro.

“You’ll be okay with us gone?” Matt asked Camila who just saluted and winked. Matt smiled softly and Keith and Pidge exchanged a look over the table.

“Is this… a new crush?” Keith whispered and Pidge just narrowed her eyes as Camila said something and Matt blushed slightly before going to pick his things a little bit sheepishly.

“I will have to get more info on the subject, but we will test it,” She declared before she turned towards Hunk, waving as the Yellow Paladin walked past the door, “Say hi to Shay from me!”

“You’ve got it,”

“And bring either her or hopefully a proposal, you have been dating for two years!” Pidge joked but Hunk just hummed knowingly, before he winked and disappeared, “Wait seriously?! _Hunk!”_

Keith made his way to the new parents, gingerly patted the kids on the head before he did as Matt had done. They exchanged a few orders before Keith rolled his eyes and refrained them from calling him space parents, like Lance used to do.

“Yeah, yeah, see you in a few days,” We waved a hand in dismissal, “Pidge, behave alright? There are two children here, there’s no need to have three.”

“No promises” But she waved until he left.

Camila walked him to the entrance of her house, the salty air was welcomed in his lungs after going without it for months.  The waves crashed softly in the shore a few yards in front of the house. He turned to say goodbye to her, “Camila, thank you so much, I owe you.”

Camila shook her head, wavy long brown hair flying softly in the wind, she was a year younger than him, and it was weird to think that she used to be Lance’s little sister.

“Anytime, take care okay?” Camila said before kissing his cheek, blue eyes happy, “Come back soon and healthy. And say hi to Lance from me?”

“You’ve got it, Cami, te veo en unos días?”

“Por supuesto, buen viaje,”

Hunk and Matt were already waiting beside Red, who had stayed hidden behind the house between all the trees, palms and bushes, hunched and tiny as best as she could as to not attract attention. Thinking back maybe coming in Green would’ve been a better idea.

“Let’s stop by Lances' before we leave?” He asks Hunk and Matt, they both nod as they follow him inside Red.

“Of course, we need to tell him all about the new babies!”

  

Day 2567

(Day two thousand, five hundred and sixty-seven)

“Kids, today is Uncle’s Lance birthday.”

The kids around Shiro’s legs looked up the pod, the twins were three-years-old now and while Ariän had his black hair cropped close to his head, Cämila had hers in two little buns that had some white strays of white that she had inherited from Allura or Shiro neither of them knew. Hunk, who had styled them for today, said that today Cämila was Princess Padme, who was a warrior from earth.

Cämila had been static, while Ari rolled his eyes. Even three years later they were still adorable, even if Shiro says so himself.

“Uncle Lance,” Cami nodded, staring at the man in the pod, with huge blue eyes, “Happy birthday!!”

Shiro laughed, the kids were always curious about the man in the pod, and although Allura and he had never restricted them coming here, they were afraid that by playing they will somehow activate Lance’s pod by accident, but they were always allowed to be inside the medical bay if someone else was with them.

“Uncle Lans?” Ari asked confused, as he tilted his head, stepping from behind his dad’s leg to place his hands against the pod, “Is he sleeping, Dad? Uncle Keef says he is sleeping.”

“He… kind of is, Ari, but he will wake up soon, he wants to meet you two.”

“He sleeps a lot,” Ari said as he tilted his head to the other side.

“More than you? I don’t think so,” Shiro sighed, Ari loved to sleep, he was certain Lance would love to find out about that.

“Happy birthday, uncle Lans!” Ari said brightly, patting the glass pod two times, “I'm three!! I’m uh… Uncle Lans, how old are you?”

Shiro just shook his head and Ari stared confused at his dad, Camila by his side was not deterred.

“Uncle Lance! Uncle Lance! My momma says you have blue eyes as the ocean back on Earth where Aunt Camila lives! I have blue eyes too!” Cami said excited as she jumped a little in front of the pod, but then she sighed when Uncle Lance did not blink or move, she sighed annoyed, when she did that she looked exactly as Allura, “Daddy? I want to see his eyes!!”

“Soon, Cams, just be patient.” But it wasn't Shiro who answered.

“Uncle Keef!”

“Hey, kids,” Keith said entering the medical bay, both kids ran towards him and he lowered himself so they could jump on him, he had learned long ago that they were not two years old that he could carry around in both arms anymore, “Saying hello to Uncle Lance?”

“Yes!”

“We were just saying hi before going down to Hunk’s wedding,” Shiro said as he picked little Ari by the back of his t-shirt that was wrinkled already, he sighed, Allura was going to kill him.

“Me too,” Keith said as he carried Cämi in his arms now, Camila played with his ponytail before her hands found the cord around Keith’s neck, Keith tensed for a moment but after a second he relaxed when Camila pulled at it gently, making the ring fall visibly to his chest.

“I’ll see you in half a varga? Bring Cämila along, alright?” Shiro said softly as he patted Keith’s back and walked along with Ari, who just waved from his father’s arms.

“Uncle Keef?”

“Yes, Cams?”

“What is this?” Camila asked as Keith walked to the pod to stare at the boy inside of it, he was going to miss Hunk’s wedding, he had waited almost seven years for him to wake up… but in the end The Cure had not come in time.

“It’s a gift.”

“Your boyfriend gave it to you?” She said excitedly and Keith laughed, shaking his head.

“No, no, Lance did not give it to me. I will give it to him. When he wakes up.  It’s precious to me though.”

“Oh, sowy,” Camilla hummed, softly and carefully dropping the ring back inside Keith’s shirt before placing her head on Keith’s chest as she stared at the man in the pod with huge pale blue eyes, they were silent for a few minutes, Keith humming a song under his breath, “Mom says he has the eyes the color of the ocean.”

“He does.”

“They must be pretty.”

“They are,” Keith said after a moment, Cämila hummed again, burrowing herself closer to Keith, a tiny hand clasping his shirt absently, her blue huge eyes fixed on the pod, she does not know who Uncle Lance is, not really, she had come several times with Mama and Papa but Uncle Lance never replies, all she knew is that he was special, and so she treated him as such even if she does not completely understand, “Not as beautiful as yours, though, Cämi.”

Cämila chuckled merrily as she sat in Keith’s arms to stare at him and poke at his cheek, “Liar. Uncle Keef, liar!”

Keith laughed as he nodded toward Lance, and then turned to the child in his arms, already walking out the room, “I’m not lying! You have gorgeous eyes, Cäms.”

The girl crossed her arms grumpily as the doors closed behind them, “I know. But you love Uncle Lance, yes?”

“I do,” Keith said surprised at the direct way in which sometimes Cämila speaks.

“Then you have to love his eyes more, Uncle Keef,” She said as if it was obvious, “Ugh, it’s like, it’s like a rule? Even Ari can understand that.”

Keith kissed her temple as he hugged her closer, reaching Allura’s and Shiro’s room. “You are so, so wise, you know that? More than your Mom but don’t tell her that.”

Cämila chuckled when Keith tossed her into the air before catching her again.

“Keith Kogane, dare I see you doing that to my kid again I’ll personally eject you into space.”

“Sorry, Allura,” Keith said out of reflex as Allura shook her head and walked inside her room, already dressed beautifully in a long dark blue dress, Ari came running past her feet, already making grabby motions towards Keith before the door closed.

Keith placed Cämi on the floor along with Ari and took their hands, they both following with little steps after him. Keith consciously going slow so they could keep up.  They found Pidge in the hangars, she was already waiting for them and she huffed annoyed at their tardiness.

“Alright, _finally._ Oh look at that, Princess Padme, and uh… Obi-wan?” She shrugged, “Ready to get out of here? Who’s coming with the best aunt ever?”

She smirked, waiting for Cämi to join her but the kids were just confused, “Who is obi one, Aunt Pidge?”

Pidge looked so affronted while Keith picked Ari in his arms, chuckling softly, “Your Uncle Hunk is going to be severely disappointed.”

The twins exchanged a look as Pidge picked Cämila in her arms and the paladins retreated to their own lions. They shrugged. Adults.

 

3115

(Day three thousand, one hundred and fifteen)

Mom was crying when Ari and his sister found her in Uncle Lance’s special room, the twins were not supposed to be there, so they kept quiet for a moment.

Ari did not know who this Uncle Lance really was, not really, but he knew he was important, he had made Uncle Keef cry at times, his mother cry at times, and his Daddy had cried here too. The twins do not know why, because when they all sometimes meet here they are all laughing. It looked that only when they were alone they cried.

Cämila does not like it, but she was not mad because Aunt Camila on Earth sometimes tells her funny stories about Uncle Lance and she wants to meet him, just like Ari does. But she supposed that the fact that Uncle Lance was always asleep was something that no one liked on this ship.

Suddenly, their mother laughed, startling the kids, but it was a sad sound and the kids were confused by it. She looked at the man inside the pod, a slender hand resting somewhere near Lance's chest.

“I’m so, so sorry Lance. So, so sorry.”  Allura said in a whisper, forcing her eyes close, hand trembling. “I hope one day you can forgive me.”

It was Ari who walked further into the room, unable to stare at her mother crying any longer.

“Mommy?” Ari asked concerned, “Why are you sad, mommy?”

“Oh!!  Ari, sweetheart, I’m not sad. I didn't know you were here.” Allura lowered herself to the ground and her kids surrounded her, she quickly stopped crying when her kids cleaned her face as best as they could, “These are happy tears, yesterday we found the medicine that will wake up your Uncle Lance, he has been waiting to meet you, I’m sure.”

Cämila hugged her mother but kept silent as Ari hugged her too. The twins exchanged a look before they looked up at the sleeping man.

“C’mon, let’s find your Aunt Shay,” Allura raised to her feet, her strength making her able to carry both her kids with her, “You two along with her are going to a little trip to the Balmera, say bye to Uncle Lance.”

They knew that tone. Adult talk without kids. And usually, they didn't like it.

But the kids were quiet though, Allua already walking out the metallic doors. They were four years old, and in four years they had yet to see Uncle Lance move.

 

3119

(Three thousand, one hundred and nineteen days)

Keith Kogane was standing in front of Lance’s McClain pod. Again. Just like he did every day. This time though it felt final. Keith placed his forehead against the glass. He had been too late. Allura had talked with them a few days ago, and even though they had all been aware of the consequences of what he had done…

It had never hit home as it hit in that moment.

Lance’s Dad had died on Earth two weeks ago. Camila had called him, crying. They all had left to the funeral, after years they were well received, still a bit cold, but understanding now, besides Cämila and Ariän had done wonders with Lance’s family.

But even then he knew it wasn’t going to be enough. For the first time, waking up Lance was not going to be enough.

“I’m sorry, Lance. I promised and I’m so sorry,” Keith said miserably against the glass. “I just hope…”

And Keith was quiet because Lance would never forgive him for this. Keith stared at the numbers on the pod, always going up. Up. Up. Up.

Keith was able to see his reflection in the pod Lance was frozen in.

Forever twenty-one years old.

Eight years. Lance had been frozen and gone for Eight years.

Keith was twenty-nine.

Life had moved on, Keith realized, as he stared at his reflected face; he had longer hair now, and he had a scar on his cheek that will never fade. Even if he had been stuck in the past life had moved on. They had saved the universe, Zarkon had been defeated, Shiro and Allura had kids, Hunk got married, Matt and Camila were dating and Pidge was now older than Lance.

Pidge, little Pidge was older than Lance now.

“Fuck!” Keith screamed as angry hot tears rained down his face.

Eight years.

Eight years was too much for Lance to ever, _ever_ forgive him for.

And he wondered if it all had been worth it.

Because he can live with it. With all of it. If Lance is breathing the same air as him he could live with it.

He was really, really selfish, and it took him eight years to understand what Hunk was saying all that time ago. That just the fact that they had lived with Lance, however short or long, had been an entire miracle, how rare it was that they had existed together at all.

Keith should’ve never done what he did. Because he could live with it.

But Lance?

What about Lance? Could _he_ live with it?

* * *

 

**DAY 3124**

[SUBJECT: UNIDENTIFIED]

  19h: 18m: 56s CT. /24h:00m:00s

S/VITALS:  152/154 PRG. STEADY.

HPC (Ox. 4.05): ETERNAL CYCLE 

 

**RECENT ACTIVITY**

ONGOING PROGRESS  (1): VIRUS TX-45

DAY SEVEN

19h: 18m: 56s: 45ms

19h: 18m: 56s: 46ms

19h: 18m: 56s: 47ms

 

 

A/ACCESS "UNIDENTIFIED" FILES (4012 FILES)

E/ENTER: SECURITY CODE (K. KOGANE MAIN USER)

NUMBER OF ATTEMPTS LEFT: 1

n/ALARMS: 6 LOGGED ALARMS ON DATABASE.

 

ONGOING PROGRESS: VIRUS TX-45

18: 57 CT. /24.00

DAY SEVEN

19h: 18m: 57s: 00ss

 

 

_BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEEEEEEEEP--_

 

Nothing.

 

Silence. The medical bay was silent for the first time in 3024 days.

The healing pod had stopped. In fact. It stopped functioning for 7.85 seconds.

The constant beating of the user’s heart stopped along with it. In reality, it had not stopped. The patient was in perfect and healthy condition. It was only that the only Altean medical machine functioning was suddenly bombarded with two different algorithms without notice or command, two different scans trying to prevail one on top of another, making it malfunction in terms of analysis scans, if not in medical functionality.

While the computer worked, its new patient, for now, remained unharmed. Waiting to be cataloged.

The computer analyzed the databases along with the different scans that had shown up on minute 18.57.  It was a new scan and the machine was quick on deciding which user was the one fitted more accordingly with this patient general medical past scans. Taking into account heart rating, gender, blood pressure, DNA, genes, species and general health.

 

_KEITH KOGANE: REJECTED     0.9%         HALF-BREED. DOMINANT SPECIES: HUMAN._

_MATT HOLT : REJECTED        2.8%         HUMAN_

_TAKASHI: REJECTED             4.5%          HUMAN_

_H. GARRET: REJECTED       2.5%          HUMAN_

**_UNIDENTIFIED: SCAN MATCH 51%     HUMAN_ **

 

[...PROCESSING APROVAL ORDER....]

[DENIED. ]

 

SCAN MATCH TOO LOW FOR A CORRECT MEDICAL CORRELATION WITH USER "UNIDENTIFIED"

 

The algorithmic in the machine told the computer to create a new folder for the new scan and new patient. 

 

[UNIDENTIFIED (2]) [UNIDENTIFIED (2]) [UNIDENTIFIED (2])

 And then.....

The machine picked a new algorithm. 

 

**[NEW MATCH FOUND]**

 

**[OPENING NEW FILE]**

 

LANCE MCCLAIN: ORDER OF SCAN APPROVED. MATCH 99.9%

 

Silence for an eternity of seven seconds and eighty-five milliseconds.

And then

 

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

 

There was sound again. And even if nothing had changed. If the machine itself didn’t know what it had done or what this new user name change meant. It was a monumental moment. One that took place in the silence of a room, with no witnesses to truly appreciate it.

 The user in the pod, if he had been awake and aware, would've said something like 'rude'.

 

**DAY ~~3024~~ - DAY 1**

SUBJECT: "LANCE MCCLAIN"

19h:19m: 57s CT. /24:00:00

S/VITALS:  152/154 PRG. STEADY.

HPC (Ox. 4.05): ETERNAL CYCLE 

**RECENT ACTIVITY**

ONGOING PROGRESS  (1): VIRUS TX-45

\--/--

**PROCESS: FINISHED**

 

A/ACCESS "LANCE MCCLAIN" FILES (185 FILES)

E/ENTER: SECURITY CODE (NON-EXISTENT)

NUMBER OF ATTEMPTS LEFT: _

n/ALARMS: ZERO (0) LOGGED ALARMS ON DATABASE.

na/ADD NEW ALARMS TO DATABASE Y/N

 

BEEP BEEP BEEP

The doors of the medical bay opened, two humans entered. Voices low in excited whispers. The sounds of their footsteps could be heard mixing with the steady beating heart of the user in the pod. Unaware.

 

RECENT ACTIVITY

ONGOING PROGRESS  (3): EPC. RC. SUP

00:01:05

00:01:04

00:01:03

00:01:02

 

 

(DAY_ONE

WITH EIGHTEEN MINUTES AND SIXTY SEVEN SECONDS.)

SUBJECT: LANCE MCCLAIN

19h:19m: 58s CASTLE TIME (CT) BASED ON A 24:00 HRS REGULATION

Signals/Vitals:  152/154 Progress. Steady.

Healing Pod Cycle: ETERNAL CYCLE

 

RECENT ACTIVITY(3):  

EPC: Ending Pod Cycle. 

RC: Regressive Count.

SUP: Starting Unfreezing Process.

 

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

 

00:0:03  
00:0:02

00:0:01

\--/--

 

The hurried footsteps seemed to come to a stop after the soft beeping sound that the pod makes when it decompresses called the attention of the two humans, now eerily quiet. Even in the silence that followed, the curiosity of those steps could be heard as they wandered closer.

The smoke quickly dispersed and the humans shivered due to the cold of it but their eyes were fixed on the man that seemed asleep inside it for a moment.

Gently, gingerly, they took one step forward and stared up at him. Gaping. They shared a glance. Nervously looking up at the man in front of them before looking at the doors and then back at each other.

Should they do something?

No. No, because they were hiding and going for help would _ruin everything._

They looked at the man again.

But... But maybe they should?

 

And then… _there was movement._

 

They gasped taking two steps back as the man inside the pod grunted, hands the color of caramel going to his head before stepping out of the pod, legs violently trembling before quickly falling to his knees, disoriented and cold. One hand going to grasp the edge of the now opened door for support, breathing harshly.

The two humans moved together, too entranced to leave now, their footsteps sounded lightly in the air as they stared captivated.

The man sensed someone with him and slowly and carefully raised his head, groaning as he opened his eyes, still heavily leaning against the pod, breath even as he tried to grasp reality once again.

Once his eyes found the other blues eyes in the room he gasped along with the two tiny humans that were staring at him.

“What?” He sighed, totally perplexed, was he dreaming?

The smiles were identical on their faces, excitedly pushing each other lightly as to confirm the other was seeing the same. One of them giggled as they stared into the eyes of the now unfrozen man. Marveled. Fascinated. 

The little humans walked to him, while the sleeping man, who was no longer asleep, blinked, trying and failing to get away, his back hitting the metallic pod. When the kids surrounded him he sat still for a moment, closing his eyes before opening them again as if trying to see if he was seeing correctly, but when they placed each of their little hands against his cheeks and giggled, staring at his eyes, he felt the warmth. 

He was awake. He was _awake._

The man, who had seemed to be frozen for too long, was frozen again, unable to move. Staring at the kids with huge blue eyes.

“Zötarchi,” the tiny humans said softly, afraid if they talked too loud they would scare him. The girl giggled, placing her hands on his chest, closer to his heart so she could lean to see better into his face.

The man stared at her captivated.

Mom had been right.

 

He had blue eyes the color of the ocean on earth.

 

SUBJECT: LANCE MCCLAIN. 

SPECIES: HUMAN

100% RECUPERATION.

FILE (186) ARCHIVED. 

A/ACCESS FILE SCAN (?)

  

LANCE MCCLAIN

ZÖTARCHI (WELCOME)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

You taught me the courage of stars before you left.  
How light carries on endlessly, even after death.  
With shortness of breath, you explained the infinite.  
How rare and beautiful it is to even exist.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again if you reached the end, kudos, claps, standing ovation, you guys really like to read.
> 
> This chapter could have been endlessly longer, I needed to capture 8 years in space in 20,000 words and it was impossible, it just kept on growing so I just left the best parts, although I missed my chance with the kids.
> 
> What do you think?  
> What do you think will happen with Lance & keith?  
> Beware that Lance lost 8 years of his life, life kept on going without him, but yeah, granted he gets to live now, so he may be able to at least make up for it?  
> I dont know, even I dont know what will happen.  
> Well... I have an idea. It wont be pretty but IT WILL BE OKAY IN THE END.  
> Seriously though, who had the great idea to make this fic? Like, why did I do this to myself?


	3. AWAKE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! thank you so much for all the positive response to the fic? I cried reading a few? They were just so fulfilling to read!! (Although all of you seem to be a little bit broken over this? sorry?)
> 
> Im afraid this chapter won't make it better, but I hope it makes Lance justice. Somehow writing this was harder than writing the past two chapters.
> 
> Also a huge, huge shout out to my Beta; [Kenshin's soul!](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kenshins_Soul/pseuds/Kenshins_Soul)
> 
> Out of her good heart's will, she helped me with my chapter, so if you have a smooth reading it's thanks to her, seriously I'm so grateful and I have told her like 238948934 times but one more just for emphasis.
> 
>  
> 
> Happy reading guys!

**AWAKE**

**First day.**

[Zorötchi] [Welcome]:  Lance McClain

Lance was paralyzed, speechless, his heart beating fast against his ribcage, afraid to breathe, or blink, dare this image disappear because… because there were _kids_ with him.

He had just woken up a few moments ago and he was now sitting on the floor, back pressed against the metallic pod as he gazed into two identical blue pairs of eyes staring at him. The kids inched closer to him and he inadvertently pressed more firmly against the pod. He hissed under his breath at the feeling of the cold metal against his back. Lance suddenly was very aware of the tight uncomfortable black suit that clings to his body, his bare feet against the biting cold floor, and how weak and shaky he felt overall, tired, but his mind? His mind was a _pparently_ still in the process of unfreezing, because not only was he imagining things, the kids in front of him just seemed like a very weird dream to him, but his memories too, what— _why_ was he even in a cryo-pod to begin with?

As in on cue, the way it always happens after a few hours in a pod, little fragments began to come together, slowly matching each other with every passing second.

Earth. His family. Keith. A kiss. Deep violet eyes. A promise…

“His hands are trembling,” One of the little things said to the other little thing.

“Oh.” Lance said stupidly as he looked down and, certainly, his hands were shaking in his lap, but he couldn’t stop them, he hadn’t even been aware. Lance looked up and blinked at... _him?_ It was a him. Blue eyes, kind smile, black hair, _so small…_ almost as if… as if… Lance’s thoughts stopped again when the kid reached for his hands, way smaller than his own but he surrounded them as best as he could. Lance stared at the contrasting color of their skins, marveled at how small the child hands were compared to his own. How tender and how… well, clean they were. No injuries, no ugly scars.

He blinked at the child again who was watching him with blue nervous eyes. Lance just stared, marveled.

So _small_ and so _warm_. And so _familiar._

“Oh.” Lance said oh so eloquently again because the cold registered then. Lance stared down at their hands again as he _felt warmth_ once again, he didn’t know for how long he had been inside the pod, but _everything;_  from the tips of his toes to the last hair on his head felt cold. His bones. His veins. His blood. The air inside his lungs.

Lance just couldn’t stop shaking.

“Uh…” Thing One looked at Thing Two for help, and the child that had been trying to warm his hands stepped away.

The moment the child began moving away Lance spaced out, suddenly feeling disconnected from reality, he tried to calm his breath, trying to reconcile his thoughts with this reality he suddenly had been thrown at when he sensed something settling over his shoulders. As a reflex he looked up startled and confused,  years of training and being a Paladin was still craved in his soul, so quick and fast as lighting he expertly caught the little hand that had been trying to… to…

A yelp.

“Oh my—I’m… I’m sorry,” Lance said ashamed as he quickly lowered his hands, embarrassed and feeling guilty for a moment at seeing the startled faces on the kids who were quietly staring at him as if he was a wounded animal, the kids had brought a nearby sheet from one of the medical bays and had—well, they were trying to surround him with it but now they seemed to hesitate. He felt a pang in his chest when he remembered little Frida, who was just ten or eleven back on Earth, and how scared she had been when they first met. He smiled gently towards the kids and with clumsy but slow movements he took the blanket they had dragged, making sure that his hands did not touch theirs. When the kids finally relented it he tugged it around him, keeping it firmly around his shoulders.

“Thank you,” He said in a whisper and what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

The kids exchanged a look of relief before they smiled at him again.

 _That’s_ when Lance’s head decided to unfreeze a bit for him, as his body began to get just a bit warmer due to the thick sheet, questions started tumbling inside his mind because…

Because there were kids there.

With him

_In space._

He blinked again.

_What the hell was going on?_

“I… I…” Lance could only stare at the kids, his eyes scanning their faces relentlessly, “It’s impossible.”

He hadn’t realized he had raised a hand to touch the girl’s face until the boy pushed the girl back quickly, and if Lance’s brain had been working with him he would’ve noticed how the little girl was giving her brother a glare, however, Lance was only able to notice that his hands were still hovering over the general direction of them without his permission, he quickly lowered his hands and pressed them against his stomach, flustered that his brain was still not working with him and so his body was reacting way faster this his own thoughts.

 _God,_ he had managed to scare two kids in less than five minutes, geez, get a grip man.  

But Lance was just entirely floored by them.

“I'm sorry.” He whispered again as he stared at the marks under their eyes. Blue marks in the form of little half-moons. “Holy shit.” He whispered again under his breath.

The kids glanced at each other before turning to lance, both tilting their heads to their side in clear confusion and to be honest afraid. Lance couldn’t help but notice that the easiness in which they had moved around him before had left them, now staying a few steps away from him.

As if they were scared of him.

Afraid of him.

“Sorry I just…” Just what? Sorry that his brain was still trying to process there were kids there? Lance imperceptibly leaned further against the pod as if backing away; something close to his heart hurt at the sight.

He looked again down at his hands, was he really awake? _Altean kids_ … there aren’t any Altean kids in the entire galaxy, he knew this, so why was he seeing Altean kids? His brain told him he was probably still dreaming in the pod, after all, this was just so bizarre and impossible for it to be true.

He nodded to himself, of course, _okay, right,_ _think_ McClain. And for some reason, he mind drifted toward Slav. Slav has once told him there were several ways in which people could know if they were living in an altered reality, or in this case, a new induced way of a dream in a coma, or maybe even torture. A few years ago a drug had gone around in the Galra Ranks that made you hallucinate, see and therefore say things.

The Galra used it as a torture mechanism against their enemies, making them see things, either good or just downright frightening to break you. It was a very efficient way to gain Intel, that’s for sure.

Pidge had once been attacked like this on a solo mission, however, the team had managed to rescue her before any real damage could be done, however, they had all turned towards Slav so nothing like this could ever happen again to them.

_To discern reality from dreams it’s a very challenging task, Paladins, but in this and in all realities it’s needed._

First, it’s the little, not the grand things that gives the lies away.

What felt out of ordinary?

 _Well_ , Lance thought distraughtly as he saw the kids still looking at him, _the kids it’s a really grand thing right now._

Also the fact, he noticed then, _that no one else was there_ , that was a strange fact that actually hurt a little. It was tradition now that whenever someone steps into a pod there will be someone on the other side to welcome him or her back. Commonly in his case, it was Keith who was there to receive him, sometimes Hunk or Coran, but now there were just two kids. Two kids that couldn’t even _exist_. Even by Galra standards, this would be a very strange way of gathering Intel. And for all he heard about Pidge and several other people who had gone through this, so far this hallucination only contained two adorable kids helping him. No Galra in sight, no dying teammates, no one asking information, no pain.

Fine, so no torture mechanism, then.

Could it be possible that somehow he had created this? Inside his mind? After all how long has he been asleep? Why was he even in a pod? He took a ragged breath, almost panicking. _Why was he even in a pod?_

He sensed movement again, his thoughts going way faster inside his mind that in the real space of time, and he looked up slowly towards the girl, _because it was a girl,_ for God’s sake, and when was the last time he saw kids?! His arms that always itched when he saw little alien child itched then, because these kids looked _so human_ too.

He kept his eyes trained on the girl as she walked up to him, gingerly and carefully and Lance just relaxed against the pod at the best of his abilities, allowing her to come closer, curiosity matching both their eyes as she placed her hands on his chest again, as if trying to calm him.

Lance only realized then he was heavily breathing, he blinked, feeling his heart steadily beating against the little girl’s hands and Lance half mindedly realized that somehow he couldn’t be asleep, or in a hallucination, not when they felt _so real._

Gingerly, even when the boy grumbled something, Lance lifted a hand from around the sheets he was surrounded in, and gently placed it against the face of the girl, the girl tensed a moment but didn’t move away. She gave him a shy smile in return and Lance found himself perplexed.

He gingerly moved his fingers over her cheek and then pushed away a lock of black hair behind her ear, his movements slow and careful, trying to not scare her away. She was so small, _so warm_ , and her eyes were an incredibly blue… he passed his thumb over the mark on her cheek. His hand began shaking again. He gasped and the girl tilted her head confused by this.

And he _knew_ that stare. Lance knew that stare, those pale blue confused eyes. And he knew that kind smile on the boy’s face, that stubborn look he was now sporting.

Lance felt as if he couldn’t breathe. His entire body trembled.

“Cämi, maybe we should tell Mom.” The boy whispered for the first time.

Lance _definitely_ stopped breathing.

“ _Cämi?”_ He squeaked.

Maybe it was torture, maybe he was just seeing and hearing things he had always wanted to see, he kinda wished he could just get up from the floor and run away, because there, sitting with not enough strength to gather himself up, he was doomed to just stare helplessly at the kids unable to do otherwise.

_Altean Kids._

But it was _impossible._

And yet he blinked again, just to be sure, but yet the kids remained there, the boy joined him from his other side, and that’s when Lance noticed the girl was giggling, little hands still pressed against his chest.

“Beep, beep, beep!!” She whispered before looking at what had to be her brother. Because there was no other explanation to how alike the kids looked. The boy glanced at his siter warily before he too raised a hand and touched Lance’s chest, just over the frantic beating of his heart as if wondering what this whole new deal with Lance was. Inadvertently, to support himself better, he had placed his other hand rather recklessly against Lance’s cheek.

Soft, warm little hands pressed against his cheeks and his chest and Lance was only able to focus on that to not start scrambling away. He kept still, barely breathing as curious eyes looked up at him as if they knew him and where sharing a joke with him.

No. No, this was definitely real, Lance realized then. With no lingering doubt in his mind to prove him wrong which was incredibly frightening at the same time.

This was real.

“What _the fuck?”_

The boy grumbled softly as he tried to push the sheet higher over Lance’s shoulder that had fallen to the ground with a pout as the girl giggled again, Lance felt her laugh through the fabric of his suit, it had been ages since he had heard a kid’s laugh, “Mom says that’s a bad word.”

It was adorable.

But Lance’s mind was somewhere else. More pieces came together as he looked around for a moment just to stabilize himself, his hand resting on top of the girl’s. He was truly in his reality. The kids in front of him a reminder of that, but the biting cold against his back, the warmth in his chest and the lingering pain in his brain was telling him he was very much alive too.

Furthermore, he was awake.

He combed his hair with a hand in the nervous habit Keith is always calling him on.

He thought of getting to his feet to get some answers, while his curiosity was sparkling inside his chest proding him to just ask the kids what are they doing here, were had they come from, where are their parents or actually any other form of human being, _anything,_  before he could even opne his mout Lance heard the noteworthy metallic shush of a door opening, his eyes automatically moved to the main entrance and he blinked again and again, and once more because even from afar the person standing at the door was unmistakable. 

 “ _What_ the _fuck?”_

The girl leaning on him sighed, almost disappointed, _“Uncle Lance.”_

But Lance was not listening in the slightest, there, standing, shocked just as Lance was—which mind you, Lance was very, _very_ shocked at the moment— was the male version of Pidge that he had never seen in his life but he knew perfectly well.

Matt Fucking Holt.

 _Matt Holt_ was standing there as if he himself had been unfrozen and Lance felt a twinge of bitterness, he was the one shocked here! And alright, his mind was already halfway through processing but just what the fuck was going on?!

He knew this was real, but if the universe was trying to prove him wrong it was doing a great job _because what the hell?!_

“You are awake,” That’s the first thing Lance heard from him and Lance, unable to move from his spot on the floor, surrounded by _Altean Kids_ and a sheet that was doing a poor job of keeping him warm, just stared dumbfounded. Then panic crossed the face of the newcomer as he stared at the kids in palpable shock, “You are—oh my god! _Oh_ my _god_ , quiznack, shit shit shit _shit,_ Jesus, I— Keith is going to kill me, and Allura said— _for the love of God, quiznack,_ you _are awake!“_

Lance could’ve laughed at that sentence alone if the whole damn situation could at least make sense somewhat. But yeah, relatable. Then Matt was calling the kids to him with hurried motions of his hands.

“But… Uncle Matt.”

_“Now.”_

The kids looked at Lance resignedly before their shoulders slumped, the girl just patted his cheek clumsily while the boy tilted his head confused once again, looking intently into his eyes before dragging his sister away, both of them throwing anxious glances at Lance over their shoulders.

The Blue Paladin just watches them walk away from him in silence and already something heavy settled in his chest at watching them go towards, apparently, _Uncle Matt,_ who seemed to be in a hurry as he quickly shepherds them out the door, saying something to them in quick Altean before rapidly shutting the doors behind them.

Their pale blue eyes were still locked with his when the metal doors closed.

Silence reigned inside the room again.

Lance felt as if he had been thrown once again in another reality, a cold shiver running down his spine, he was only able to stare at the space where the kids had disappeared behind the door for a few moments, taking a deep breath, before his eyes settled on caramel ones and the feeling like he needed his brain to start working overwhelmed him once again.

Because…because was Matt Holt _really_ there?

 _“What the fuck?”_ He whispered again, marveled, staring at a man that he knew meant the universe for someone in this ship. Had Pidge found him in the time he was gone? How? Suddenly there were too many questions. The man at the door finally seemed to relax at his words and he chuckled under his breath, tentatively walking towards Lance, steps slow and short, as if unsure how to proceed.

Lance just stared at him, head tilted, categorizing all the things he found on his face that reminded him of Pidge. The hair color was the same, and their skin tone was just as pale as he remembers, they definitely have the same amazing caramel eyes filled with wonder and keen intelligence, but the smile just not quite fits the same. Pidge always smiled either very naïve and boyishly or with something secretive hidden at the corner of her lips.

Matt smiled with kindness.

Lance could count with one hand the number of times he had seen that smile on Pidge’s face. One of them had been… had been when he had promised her to find her brother once he gets healthier.

Pidge. Oh, _Pidge_. And his heart, that had been drumming annoyingly loud against his ribcage, now hurt because now he remembers, the pods always make your head fuzzy and your thoughts annoyingly disconnected, but now that a few moments had passed he remembers.

 

 

  

Sick. He had been sick, right? He remembers that part painfully clearly now. He remembers Keith voice, saying over and over again that he loved him, that there was a cure, that he needed Lance to take this chance, he remembers seeing Earth one last time before Keith told him there a chance for him to live while Lance could hardly listen to him while he could also feel the pain all over his body, ripping him apart, making him delirious because it was like he _was burning inside out._

He stared at his hands as if waiting for them to start turning purple and green, just like all those times he had stepped inside the pod prior this time but nothing happened. No agony, no suffocating feeling in his chest, and no numbing throbbing in his brain that makes him angry and bitter.

After remembering being in pain for so long…this was a little bit unnerving.

 _He was sick_. He was sick and he had gotten into a pod without even saying goodbye.

“Man, I bet she was pissed,” He whispered to himself. He looked down at his hands once again, a healthy caramel color staring back, he turned them face up and down a few times before he scrunched his nose in a silent question, something in his chest thudding fast, this didn’t make sense at all because this meant…Had they unfreeze him to… what exactly?

He gasped, eyes unfocused looking at the front. His mind disconnected for a second.

_One year Keith, I’m willing to give up a year, no more._

_There’s a cure, Lance. They found a cure, just let me get you to it._

_I will unfreeze you, I promise, once you are safe and sound I will unfreeze you._

Lance gasped.

He has _Cancer._ It had been hopeless and tiring and just downright heartbreaking to live with it.

He looked around as if he would be able to see a calendar or his answers painted in the air.

Was the year he had been willing to give up over? Was he unfrozen so he could go back to Earth and live his last days?

And yet his hands were unbruised.

Or… or did they—

_Oh my god._

Did they find a cure?

“You… uh… you are trembling,” Matt said and Lance blinked up dumbly in time to see Matt placing the sheet around his shoulders tighter where it had slipped. He just smiled again and Lance just stared at him from his spot on the floor, “I uh… welcome back! Lance McClain right? I’m… I’m Matt Holt, I… I… I’ve heard so much about you, and I just—whoa, I’m…. _Jesus.”_

And Lance smiled too. Matt was really here. Pidge had really found him and she had not been alone all the time he had been gone. A whole year probably.

A whole year.

His mind quickly moved that thought aside, “I’m glad to finally meet you, Matt Holt.”

Matt was quiet, kneeling beside Lance with unsure but kind eyes, no one spoke for a moment, Lance’s eyes occasionally moving to the metal doors again, as if waiting for someone to step out from them.

Where was his family? If he was truly awake and healed, where were they?

His hands turned into fists, if he was still sick by now he would be feeling something, something blooming in his chest, a never-ending pain in his brain, but so far he still felt light.

Could it be possible that they had not woken him up for his last day to live… but for the first day of many to start?

He was way too excited and terrified to ask.

Matt, apparently, was indeed a very smart man because he understood the quiet questions Lance was too shy to ask. He placed a tentative hand on his shoulder and Lance stopped looking at the doors to look at him.

“I…” He stopped himself, hand more firmly pressed against Lance’s shoulder, “You must be hungry, right? And you are _so cold_ , Allura said you would be, so… how about you get out of that suit while I look for the others? They are going to lose it when they see you,” Matt said as he helped Lance to his feet with a hand around his shoulders, Lance went with the motion while keeping a firm hand on the thin sheet, with wary steps Matt walked them to a bed and allowed Lance to sit there while Matt sat opposite of him on a chair.

“It’s… is everyone alright? How—do you know how long I was in the pod?” Lance asked as he looked at Matt, marveled that he was indeed talking to _Pidge’s big brother_ , who actually looked way older than he imagined him. He always thought Matt and him were almost the same age, but now looking at him it was easy to see that Matt was at least a few years older, “Where is everyone? And… where… did I just see _kids_ just now? Do we now take alien allies and their families in or something?” He chuckled as he shook his head.

And even though Lance meant that as a joke Matt Holt was quiet, he quickly averted his eyes, the hands on his lap trembled before he smiled again, making Lance blink in confusion and his smile melted on his face.

“Sorry, we just—we were not expecting you to wake up this soon, you uh—you surprised us, that’s all.”

Lance smiled softly again as he tugged the sheets closer around him, pushing his long legs in front of him as far as they could go, he always feels stiff after a long time in a pod, he nodded to himself, “Well, now I’m here, is… is everyone alright? Or… uh, I somehow always choose the worst times to wake up, are we under attack or something?” He said as he tried to listen further but he noticed that the lights were not shining red, no alarms were sounding around the castle and no signs of battle could be heard.

 _Again_ he felt something heavy pushing on his chest, it was maybe childish to even think about it, but when he had stepped into the pod he was sure that for better or for worse the first thing he was going to see when he was woken up would be violet eyes. That was actually the last thought he remembered having: Keith had been there on the other side, looking at him with wide bright eyes. That was the last image his brain had collected. And he had truly expected Keith to be the first thing he saw when he came back.

And then he had blinked and he wakes up…

And it was entirely unreal how much not seeing Keith there hurt.

“Has Zarkon been attacking recently?” Lance asked instead, entirely focused on not feeling down because surely his fiancé along with his whole family were somewhere important at the moment, after all, they were Paladins of Voltron, they wouldn’t be around his pod all day and night. So he settled on the bed more comfortably, after all, he had been dying to meet Matt Holt for years, hadn’t he? And even though this is the first time that they see each other it was as if Lance already knew him, “C’mon, you gotta fill me up with what’s been happening! Have you helped them in battle? How did Pidge even _found_ you _,_ man?”

Matt blinked at Lance’s excited tone and Lance backtracked.

“Sorry, I know we don’t know each other that much yet, or at all, _but… well_ ,” He smiled sheepishly, “That little gremlin just never shuts up about you, don’t tell her I said that though.”

Matt just looked at him with something like pain in his eyes… pity. And Lance, for whatever reason, felt small; in a moment of unbidden shyness, he pushed his legs closer to him.

 _Stupid_ , Lance thought, _you are not friends, stop making this weird._

“I uh… where are the others, do you know?” Lance finally asked after a long minute of awkward silence, trying to change the subject, hand rubbing at the base of his neck with a sheepish smile adorning his face, “I kinda expected them to be here, to be honest, are they alright? On a mission or something?”

Mat blinked as if finally coming down from his reverie.

“I think it’s safe to say that they are alright now,” Matt Holt said as a response, finally his brain computing that yeah, yeah Lance was breathing and alive and well because for as long as he had known Team Voltron they had never been alright. No completely. Not since he had known them.

But Matt as a great Observant.

Matt didn’t know Lance. Not really. Only his blank face and how the color of his skin looked a bit bluish behind a glass. He didn’t know the sound of his voice or the color of his eyes. He didn’t know his favorite brand of ice-cream, or if he liked sandstorms or rainy days. But weirdly he felt as if he knew him, actually, he knew a lot about Lance McClain.

He knew about the Cuban boy who had gotten Cancer in space, and he knew how when he was seven he broke his leg, Camila had shown him photos when he was little, a wide smirk on his face proudly sitting on a chair with a cast.

He knew about the way Hunk sometimes tells jokes that when the rest of the team just shrug he always ends up whispering ‘Lance would understand’ and he would smile softly to himself. He knows Hunk has a book of recipes he wants to make Lance when he wakes up.

He knows that the records in the video game console of Pidge’s still has Lance’s name saved as the first player, and he knows she sleeps with a huge and very worn but well-loved blue bathrobe that she refuses to throw away.

He knows that Allura uses a pink-sharpie helmet, and that when he had asked her why she just doesn’t wear a new one she had looked incredibly affronted, ‘This the most special hand-made gift I have received, Matt Holt, I’m not ashamed of using it, after all, there’s only one like this in the entire galaxy’.

And he also knows that when Coran tells a story with Lance in it, Lance is always some kind of brilliant mastermind behind a plan that had looked ridiculous but turned up alright in the end. How there’s always a space in the front of the pod when they go down to a planet undercover.

As if the shotgun place was for someone else.

And he knows how long has Shiro been here, in this room, staring at the impassive face of a boy that had once been in The Garrison, just like him.

He _knows_ how much Keith missed him, how much time Keith had spent inside these walls and how every morning, without fail, he would be there, talking with Lance. As if he would be able to reach him. Matt also knew how sad or happy those eyes could be when Lance was brought in a conversation.

He knows how much Keith Kogane, without ever saying it, loved Lance McClain. Matt could not understand that kind of love, and he had known the man for many years. It was… something unmovable and yet changing.  Matt had never seen something like it.

The Red Paladin had politely refused several marriage proposals on his years as a Paladin, had turned down many men and women looking for an alliance, him being the last bachelor Paladin.

Matt was always stunned because how could Keith manage to be so loyal to someone who could not even breathe on his own? And even though eight years had passed, it was as if Keith’s feelings couldn’t and wouldn’t wave over the years.

So yeah, yeah he knows a lot about Lance McClain, _so much_ , it felt _unreal_ to be here with him. But Matt, above all things, knew how much Lance was missed and loved in this ship. How hard the people he had come to care as family had fought for him.

And finally, all their years of waiting had come to an end.

“Thank you for coming back, Lance.”

Lance blinked confused at the words but just nodded, the cold finally starting to recede from his bones, too many questions bubbling inside of him but the man sitting in front of him could not help him with them. He opened his mouth and that’s when his stomach grumbled.

Matt chuckled; it was really unreal to be there. Lance was breathing and talking _and hungry_ —and yeah, okay, he must do something about that. Lance, very conscious of his body, brought the sheet around his shoulders tighter until his knuckles went white in embarrassment.

Matt just saw the whole thing nothing short of a miracle.

“I… I’ll bring the others then? Maybe they can uh… fill you in?” Matt offered as he rose from the chair, “Take the time to maybe change your suit? Those things are the worse, there are some clothes by the corner of the room, I’m sure something must fit.”

“O-okay yeah, thanks, man,” Lance nodded as he looked at the corner Matt had pointed at, “Got it.”

Matt nodded once again and headed to the metal doors, the gates opened at his command but he hesitated on the threshold as he looked over his shoulder. Lance had started to unzip his black and blue tight suit, clumsy hands trying to grasp the zip behind his neck.

“Lance?”

Lance looked up startled to see Matt there still waiting and looking at him, Lance lowered his hands from his back, red dusting his cheeks. He had made a fool out of himself three times in like ten seconds.

“Yeah?” 

“Just…. “

And there were also things Matt knew…that he was sure the rest of the Team didn’t want him to know.

Because he also knew that Keith Kogane loved Lance so much that the entire universe had to move to give way to it and whatever that entailed because Matt wasn’t stupid, even though Team Voltron had never sat with him and explained what happened, not even Pidge or Shiro, he knew things between them and Keith, when it was about Lance, was a dark and unstable territory to enter.

He knew, eight years ago, that some lines had been crossed.

Matt was a _great_ observant, it was the only way to gain Intel inside a ship that refused to talk about Lance McClain the year before he was frozen.

 _Lance is sick, Matt, and we need to find a cure, that’s all there is to it._ Pidge had once told him.

How sick? A lot.

And the team probably had suffered along with him.

Enough to notice how sometimes Shiro and Allura would bring the kids there to stare at Lance in a pod and something heavy would bring their shoulders down. They never answer when the kids ask why Lance has yet to wake up.

Enough that Pidge always seems to make herself small in front of Lance’s pod, her eyes always shining with a mix of fondness, exasperation, anger… and something else; betrayal. It was always painful to watch. Matt has noticed after years that whenever Keith is inside the room Pidge somehow never is.

Enough that Hunk, for all his golden heart and warm smiles, once a year he talks with Keith with a pleading voice but cold eyes. Matt has come to realize he talks with him every year that Lance spends frozen. He does not know what they talk about but Hunk always brings a letter with him.

Matt does not know what happens, but Hunk still has that letter, and Keith always looks as if he is about to break for days after.

Enough that Matt knew that Keith had probably suffered a lot in silence and lonely, he had lost and damaged relationships and friendships over the years, he severed ties and tried to painfully mend them again each time. Keith had left parts of himself behind in the process of Lance waking up.

And as Matt stared at a boy who had yet to know how many days he had lost he wondered if Lance would ever be able to understand just how much the whole team had changed when he wasn’t there.

“Just…” He tried again. _Remember the team here loves you. So much. When you see_ him _remember that_. Matt smiled and it was a bit painful to watch how expectant Lance looked with the doors open, eyes fluttering down when he saw no one was on the other side. Matt drummed his fingers against the metal wall, “Welcome back again, we missed you.”

Lance scoffed warmly although a bit curious, at the ‘ _we’,_ “Thanks?”

Mat nodded as he finally walked out, the door closing heavily behind him. The silence engulfing him for a moment but he didn’t move, he just stood there, looking at the empty wall in front of him, he passed a hand over his face and gave a long sigh before he pushed his space phone from his pocket, sending a message to all the inhabitant’s of the castle.

_He’s awake._

It didn’t take long for him to hear footsteps running down the corridor, he had lived in this castle for so long he had gotten used to each step and sound, he knew how Shiro’s strong steps sounded in the metallic hallways, always on edge but yet so firm, and how short and clipped Allura’s could be, that’s how he manages to stay away from problems.

How loud and wide Hunk’s are and how quiet and short Pidge’s are, how they scurry along the floor when she is tired, or how deadly quiet they can be when she’s trying to mess with him. How strong and wide Keith’s steps are, how heavy they can get on bad days, and how light they are when he fights.

And right now he heard loud excited steps coming his way.

Allura and Shiro were running down the hall, both with an expression he had never seen in their faces before, hope and relief and tears and at the same time aching and denial.

“Is he… is he—“ Allura said colliding with Matt, placing her hands on his shoulders, shaking him, “ _Is he—?”_

“Yep.” Matt answered easily.

Allura took a ragged breath, blue eyes clouding with unshed tears, she placed her hand over her mouth, allowing herself to crumble a little. Matt hugged her when it looked like she was about to collapse,  she leaned on him heavily, “Very alive, safe, and perfectly healed. I saw his scans _. He is fine.”_

“Oh my god,” Shiro said as he lowered himself to the ground, a hand against the floor for balance, he looked at the door as if he could see Lance behind them, he smiled with tears shining on his eyes, “Finally, oh _my god,“_

More sounds down the hallway, this time it was Hunk with Pidge.

“We heard, oh my god, _we heard_! Why—the pod— _why didn’t our watches alert us?!”_ Pidge was asking distressed but her smile was too wide on her face, tears falling down her cheeks, “ _Oh my god!!!!”_

“The kids. The kids just _told_ us _, he saw them?_ Lance saw them?!” Hunk said, moving his hands up and down, finally stopping near them as Pidge clung to his arm jumping excitedly, he was already crying as he looked at the doors guarded by Pidge’s brother. He looked around him as if expecting Lance to be hiding there. “What—Matt, oh c’mon just let us through, _where is he_? And just where the—“ He looked around, “Are you fucking serious? Please tell me Keith is not like, in a Blade of Marmora mission because I will kill him!”

“He’s with Red,” Allura said who was trying and failing to stop her tears as she tilted her head back, hand still on Matt shoulder’s for support, she chuckled softly when she looked that Shiro was still kneeling on the floor, kindly she kneeled beside him and placed a comforting hand against his shoulders, “I…  I already called him, Hunk, well more like Cämila ran to his hangar to tell him the news.”

“I can’t believe he saw the kids before us,” Shiro said as he managed to stand up again, holding Allura close to him but a smile was firmly on his face, a few tears falling down, he laughed, “I bet he was stunned.”

 _“The kids,”_ Pidge said finally slowing her jumps, just painfully grasping Hunk’s arm, she lowered her eyes for a moment. “It’s going to make things harder to explain, we—we didn’t see this coming. He woke up three days too soon. _How_ we didn’t see this coming?”

Her voice broke. How couldn’t _she_ see this coming?

She had not been there eight years ago, and now, after so long, she had failed to be there today. Distressed she looked at the doors. It felt like a sick joke. Her hands twitched on Hunk’s arm. Something heavily gripped in her chest and her heart broke.

Alone. He had woken up alone.

“Oh, _Lance_ ,” She whispered, feeling her utter helplessness all over again as if it was the same day that Lance had been frozen. Hunk looked down at her questioningly when another wave of sound came down the other side of the hall.

Everyone turned to see Coran running, almost jumping as he ran quickly to meet them.

“For Alfor’s hair and beard!” Coran said as he joined the group and stopped with a halt and not so gently hugged Allura to his chest, knocking her out of Shiro’s embrace, “It’s been entire decaphebes since I’ve shaken in excitement, Princess. Decaphebes!!! My boy is back!! After so long!! He’s awake!”

Allura laughed as she hugged him fiercely, and it was a relieved wobbly laugh that Hunk found himself joining in but Pidge started horrified at the doors then, hands shaking over Hunk’s arm before gripping at it fiercely. Her mind coming to conclusions way faster than the rest of them did.

She had always known.

 _They_ had always, _always_ known but now…

“Pidge?” Hunk asked and Pidge just pressed her forehead against his broad shoulder, eyes not really seeing, she took a deep breath before she tilted her head, her eyes finally connecting with Matt’s. The siblings shared a dark look but Matt’s attention was pulled away when Keith finally came crashing down the hall.

Finally, the man who had created all this mess eight years ago had arrived with Cämila in his arms. Keith just halted in his steps long enough to gently place Cämila in the arms of his waiting father before barreling into Matt’s personal space in a tick, grabbing him by his upper arms.

“Is he really awake? Matt, please, is he—“ Keith was saying with labored breaths but his eyes were fixed on the doors as if they contained the entire answers to the universe’s problems. They probably did. “Is _Lance,_ is he awake? Is he talking? Is he fine? Is he in pain? Matt, what did you tell him, what did he say _—“_

“Man, breathe, you are shaking,” Matt whispered but Keith had to blink twice before understanding his words. Matt looked around and he realized everyone seemed on the edge of their toes, Cämila and Shiro were talking excitedly about ‘What will Uncle Lance do now that he is awake?’ and Allura and Coran were talking in quick Altean while Hunk and Pidge were whispering things to each other, with tearful smiles and bright eyes.

He smiled painfully when Keith just pressed into his skin urgently, seeking answers.

_“Matt—“_

“What _I_ can say is that he truly has _beautiful eyes,_ Keith, just as blue as the ocean on Earth, you were right. _Now_ I can see and appreciate all the effort,” Matt joked and Keith blinked a few times as his shoulders sagged in relief before shoving him slightly, chuckling under his breath.

“He’s taken, Holt,”

“And starving,” Matt announced slowly as he looked around. Keith just kept staring at the doors, hands twitching at his sides, “And confused. _Understandable.”_

“Oh, oh right!! I…. I… _food,”_ Hunk seemed on the verge of discovering how to materialize in two places at the same time when a voice shouted down the corridor.

“I got it!”

“Oh my god, _I love you_ ,” Hunk said when Shay, the last one in the ship to arrive, moved around the corner with a tray of food in her hands, she was also smiling but her hands were tender and firm on the tray trying to not spill any of the food to the ground in her excitement. Ariän was trailing behind her while he carried a vase of water with so much tenderness it was adorable.

Matt just chuckled at the sight while Pidge began blabbering with Allura about a million things at once. Everything outside the medical bay, or Lance’s Place, as they had called it until then, was chaos and Matt was in the middle of it all. Everyone seemed to be on edge of happiness. True happiness. Like if something had finally clicked after so long.

“The _fucking idiot_ , oh my god, we planned this, we planned how we were going to meet him and what were we going to say and how everything was going to play out because we had a fucking alarm on his pod and he—and he…” Pidge just shivers, a hiccup of happiness leaving her although Matt could see something in her eyes didn’t quite match. “Oh my god,” She just finally gives up and leans against Hunk, hugging him tightly and squawking.

“He is Lance,” Keith finally says, a few silent tears streaming down his face, he still staring at the doors, voice filled with wonder and so much fondness Matt actually blushed. Keith’s voice cracked for a moment, “He breaks all the god damned rules in the universe.”

“Very well, so, he’s been asking for all of you,” Matt said calmly but brightly, “What are we waiting for?”

It was as if the entire atmosphere changed and everyone grew quiet.

For all their hurry to enter, Matt noticed, no one had dared to take that last step that would allow the doors to open.

Allura hugged herself, back straight but eyes dimmed a little as he looked at the door with hesitance that was not like her. Hunk’s placed his hands in tight fists, staring at the door hopefully before he glanced at Keith’s form with such coldness that Matt was taken aback.

Keith was just quiet, hands clutching something on his chest and suddenly he took a step back and away from his teammates, almost unconsciously.

Standing there Matt couldn’t help but think about what Allura told him a few months after they had found him, they had managed to rescue a planet from the Galra, who had been stealing several minerals from the planet’s core for years now, making the planet very unstable to live in, volcanoes erupted all the time all over the planet and Earthquakes buried entire cities, what they didn’t know is that the reason the planet had been so unsteady was not because of the Galra, it was because it was dying.

It was meant to happen.

Voltron celebrated their win over the Galra with a parade when the battle was over, the celebrating lasting until night. Matt kept asking her why they had not yet said anything to the inhabitants of the planet.

_Just look at them, they are so happy to be finally free, dancing and drinking and for once in peace. They don’t know they have to evacuate in a few movements, that they have to leave their houses, and everything they had known since will disappear, we will tell them tomorrow, of course, but… for now… this is happiness, Matt, even if it’s fake._

And Matt felt as if he was standing on that planet again.

He stared at his friends, his family, frozen and quiet in the sudden eerie silence, eyes fixed on the doors.

This whole team, a team that had waited eight years to see the person behind that door, that had moved oceans and mountains, visited endless planets, that had paid unfathomable amounts money, a team who offered so much and yet received so little. These same six people who had tried, and suffered, and lived, and strived, and dreamt and hope to see _this day_ for the total of three thousand and twenty-four days…somehow still needed three whole minutes to finally gather themselves and take strength to walk up those doors.

That’s when Matt could see the happiness cracking.

Matt walked behind them all to stand along with Shay, knowing what his part at this meeting was.

“Dad?” Cämila asked in his arms but Shiro didn’t even acknowledge her. Cämila looked around to all her uncles and aunts who were all quiet, and pressed herself closer to her silent father's chest, biting her lip.

Shay and Matt exchanged a glance, sharing the same thoughts and Matt picked Ariän from the floor who seemed to be very distressed with the tense feeling that had surrounded them.

Suddenly it was as if they didn’t exist.

Pidge was glaring at Keith intently even if the older man was not aware. Allura and Shiro were stiff one beside the other, for a couple that loved to hold hands and lean against each other so much, suddenly it was as if they needed to be apart, Cämila trying to catch her mother’s hair between her hands to bring her closer. Hunk was glaring at his hands, opening and closing them anxiously, muttering under his breath. Coran was quietly standing beside Keith a hand on his shoulder as if trying to give him something to focus on, while Keith had one hand pressed firmly against his chest, tugging at the collar with a ring that Matt knew he had there, eyes filled with so many emotions Matt was overwhelmed just by being there.

He, for the first time since he had been rescued, felt like he didn’t belong there. Like he was an intruder.

Eight years had passed, but somehow, here, it seemed as if they had walked eight years in the past, the hurt, sadness, and the anger that they all had tried to cope with and deal for years had resurfaced… and it was an ugly thing to see.

There’s nothing worse than the things left unsaid, and right now they were about to find out how exactly was Team Voltron supposed to survive their final and more important battle.

Because Lance McClain was awake.

And with him, eight years filled with secrets, shocks, crossed lines, broken promises, and haunted decisions.

Matt Holt looked at the hopeful faces of his friends now all tinted with fear.

Somehow, fighting Zarkon in that final battle didn’t feel as much different as this moment felt, because Matt found himself praying, with as much fervor as he had done then, that his friends will all survive this.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Lance had finally managed to strip from the black tight _beyond uncomfortable_ suit, and had succeeded in finding his jeans on a shelf in the corner Matt had signaled him. His jeans looked really a bit more worn down since the last time he remembers wearing them, and a thin layer of dust had made him cough when he had pulled them out, a nagging thought in his brain telling him that at least he had spent a few good months inside the pod for that to happen, but he tried to not think about as he pulled them before he attacked the pile of neat and folded clothes again, looking messily around for a shirt and his trustworthy brown and green hoodie, but none of those were there.

He grumbled under his breath as he scratched his tummy absently, all in all he felt uncomfortable in his own skin, he was tired even after being in a pod _, and_ he was really hungry, _and_ he was still a bit cold, and his shirtless state was not helping.

Ugh.

Perfect.

He started to rummage around; there were a few shirts that looked definitely alien that for all that was holy he couldn’t figure out how were they supposed to be worn,  he found a shirt too huge for him to wear with a large slash on one side. It probably was Hunk’s, he shrugged and took it, however, he gave up on it because the thing just bunched uncomfortably around his frame. Sighing annoyingly he discharged it, he was thinking along the lines to just _go_ to his room and change, you know, like a normal person it wasn’t as if he wasn’t allowed to leave the place, when the doors opened, he quickly took a few steps back from the shelf, smiling widely at the newcomer.

“Allura!” He forgot all about the shirt, dropping it to the floor and walked to meet her, _Finally!_ A familiar face! He opened his arms wide to embrace her but he hesitated in his steps.

Allura was just staring at him, mouth opened in a cute ‘o’ and he stopped in his tracks lowering his arms a bit self-conscious, her hands were clutched to her chest as her impossible sky blue eyes trailed his face as if he was seeing him for the first time.

“Allura?” He looked down at his naked torso and blushed slightly, he scratched his cheek sheepishly before looking up, no wonder why Allura refused to come near him, “Right, sorry, maybe I should cover up or something right? Decency and all that?“

“Oh, Lance,” and her voice cracked, Lance blinked confused at this but soon Allura had finally closed the space between them with two large strides, arms firm around his shoulders, she was holding him so tight it hurt but Lance was not about to complain, he chuckled. He felt as if he had just seen her yesterday, but he supposed for the rest more time than just a few days had passed, he had gotten that much from Matt. Him being awake for his team must be nothing short from shocking news he supposes, he was due… he was due _to die_ , wasn’t he? His hands shook. He had been ready for that to be his end but now he was here. He didn’t say anything as he just hugged Allura a bit longer, lifting her softly off the floor a few seconds before placing her back.

When he tried to push her away Allura just refused, shaking her head stubbornly. Lance chuckled and allowed Allura to hug him to her heart’s content, he sighed into her hair, smelling the soft aroma of lilies that Allura owned. After all when was the last time he had hugged her? In the days before stepping into a healing pod no one had dared to touch him, let alone hug him, afraid he was going to break.

He looked at the pod he had been in over her shoulders.

They were quiet for a few more moments as Lance rocked them softly side to side.

“Miss me much?”

And Allura finally chuckled, it was a beautiful sound, “ _Endlessly_ , oh my god, _Lance,”_ she pushed him at arm’s length, but fingers still touching him gently, Lance’s hand falling to her shoulders in the motion, “I…”

“Allura—what is this?”

“I—What?”

“Your hair, _you cut it_?” Lance said marveled and jokingly affronted as his fingers brushed the short hair of Allura that now stopped around her shoulders, he tugged at it softly, shocked at this development, “Don’t get me wrong, you still look every bit the princess you are supposed to be, but _seriously_? Why didn’t you wait for me to cut it, uh? That hair was like a treasure to the universe, Allura, I didnt get the chance to braid it one last time! Why do you hate me so much?”

Lance pouted as he played with the ends of her hair. Allura was silently staring at him, hands clutching his shoulders inadvertently, distress clear on her face and Lance nudged her gently.

“You still look amazing, actually is that boyfriend of yours around? Because if he isn’t I feel safe enough to throw a pick up line or two, Princess,” He winked and wiggled his brows in the annoying way Lance knew would have Allura rolling her eyes, but stopped when Allura just kept on staring at him, a soft smile on her face while she just looked like she wanted to cry, “Allura, it was a joke, you still look beautiful, short hair or not, actually it looks great on you, to be honest, how is that fair?”

“You are beautiful too, Lance.”

Lance chuckled under his breath and Allura placed her hand against his chest, feeling the vibrations there, her blue eyes never leaving his, as if marveled that Lance was even there. Her other hand went to play with a white lock of hair, glancing at it before looking back at Lance, “You really think long hair suited me better? I can grow it out if you want, Lance.”

Lance chuckled and shook his head fondly, “Stop it, you look amazing.”

Allura just shook her head delightedly.

“Allura?” He looked down at her before looking around the empty room once again, it wasn’t as if he was disappointed or anything but…he placed his hands on top of hers, that were resting on his chest, and he massaged them to keep them from shaking, was she cold? He gave them a soft squeeze, “Not that I’m complaining or anything but… uhm, I was almost expecting everyone to be here when I woke up and… just _where_ is everyone? On a mission? And hey, what’s with _Matt_ Quiznacking Holt? Uh?  When did _that_ happen? And… and… _Allura_ —now I remember! I saw kids! _Altean kids!_ Was… can the pod make me hallucinate things? Like maybe from previous patients or something?”

Allura was trembling again and confused Lance pulled her to arm’s length lowering his face to stare at her, something clicked, “Allura? I’m sorry, Oh god _, I'm so sorry_ I… I didn’t intend to bring Altea like this, it was foolish on my part, I didn’t mean to bring you bad memories, or _… Allura?”_

Lance felt, once again, as if something just wasn’t quite right, there was something wrong in the way Allura was staring at him.

There had been something wrong nagging at him since the moment since he had woken up but he couldn’t quite place the feeling just yet.

“Lance McClain _, you are awake_ , “Allura looked into his eyes and smiled softly. Lance quieted, blinking down at her. He nodded unsurely.

“I am, you… you found a cure.” It sounded like a question even to his own ears.

“We did,” Allura whispered, a smile on her face as she stared at eyes as blue as the ocean on Earth, “We saved you, Lance, as we promised. Li’zölra”

Lance smirked, “Li’zölra”

It had been worth it. She told herself. It had been worth it.

But Lance was looking at her trembling hands and he raised his brows in silent question.

“Allura?”

Allura took a deep breath, allowing herself to close her eyes for a second, hands against Lance’s chest, feeling his heart beating for support.

And everything that was about to happen better be worth it too.

It had to be.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

“What do you mean… what do you mean things happened?” Lance said as he sat on the bed with Allura across from him, she had brought along some food and he had been eating quite starved as she filled him about how they had managed to find a cure for his Cancer, apparently labelled Cancer 114 now, she had been explaining the scientific parts of it, how it was composed and how did they managed to get a cure when Lance had asked about his teammates.

It wasn’t that Lance didn’t care that he was cured, he was relieved, beyond what words could describe. He had a chance. He had a chance again at living and he needed to thank each and all of his friends for pulling this miracle for him. However, so far his mind wasn’t focused on his sickness, when he had agreed to get a cure he had not been focused on the illness but on what he was leaving behind, his family. Both on space and on Earth. That’s what he wanted to know about.

He wanted to know about Shiro, and if he had taken care of Keith, he wanted to know if Pidge was mad at him, if Hunk had cried a lot, how lonely Keith had been, he wanted to know about Matt and about the battles that he had missed, about Blue and if she was doing okay without her Paladin. But to all of those questions she gave him short but warm answers, she told him about Pidge finding Matt, about Hunk getting into a relationship with Shay, at which Lance rolled his eyes, (‘Honestly? About time’), and about Team Voltron missing their sharpshooter.

But when Lance had asked her how long had he been in a pod, how Keith had fared without him, after all, Lance knew that Keith out of everyone was going to suffer the most. However, the more questions she asked, the quieter she grew, and when Lance pressed her she just settled on saying things had happened in his absence.

“I'm saying, that now more than ever I need you to understand,” Allura said softly, waiting with the patience of a God for Lance to put his plate aside before placing a shaking hand above his, “That I need you to understand us.”

 _“Understand?_ I understand, Allura, you guys tried and figured how to find a cure _, you cured_ me for something that should’ve killed me.” Lance said perplexed, he tugged her hand between his, “I’m alive and breathing thanks to you, what is there to understand? If anything I should thank you, all of you for doing this.”

Allura was unable to keep staring at him and lowered her blue eyes to the ground. Lance blinked confused, there was just so much sorrow on such a beautiful face, he tilted his head and sighed. He moved on the bed so he could settle beside her, passing an arm around her shoulders and shaking her lightly, hugging her to his side.

“Hey, hey, I understand, I think I do at least…” Lance said after a few moments of silence, he placed his cheek against her hair, he gulped, his mind trying to deal with the fact that more than just a day had passed, “I… yesterday—well, _not yesterday_ , but _it feels_ like yesterday I was here stepping inside a pod to be frozen in time and I… well, _I get it_. I—I understand that things happened, after all a year… whoa, that’s... that’s a lot of time but… I’m not mad that you found a cure, I was willing to give it away, It’s worth it just to see you guys again, and—Allura?”

Allura was shaking her head, a watery smile on her face, finally raising her eyes to see into his, pleading.

“Oh, Lance, could you ever, ever forgive us? _Forgive me?”_

Lance just stared at her, panic starting to build up, “Allura, is everyone alright? Is... is Shiro, or Keith—? Is anyone injured?”

Allura just chuckled sadly and at the same time marveled at this human beside her, forcing herself to keep the tears at bay because _Lance could not understand_ , in his mind, the worse scenario was that he would lose his friends in the process, that one of them would die and he wouldn’t be there when he woke up. In his mind, he had lost just a year because Lance trusted his teammates  _with his life_ , and he had trusted them with this promise and they had promised him, hadn’t they? Shiro, Allura and Keith.

They had promised to wake him up after one year.

Lance had not doubt them.

It made every feeling of success crumble inside Allura.

 “Allura, please talk to me, you are scaring me here.”

She pressed her forehead to his shoulder, she did not deserve him, she had never deserved such a loyal and caring Blue Paladin. She almost sobbed, he was never going to speak to her ever again, not once he finds out, she breathed deep twice before righting herself, hands clasping his firmly.

“Lance…” She looked deep into his eyes, holding to whatever she could find there for as long as she could, “I… the rest of the team is outside the door. We are all fine, we are all alright. I promise. And they are waiting for you, we have all been waiting for you for a long time, I know you have questions, I know I have been vague, but I promised this was something we would all do together, Keith threatened to kick the door down, dare I fault on my word.”

Lance smile got wider as he looked at the closed doors, “So? Let them in, what are we waiting for? I have a lot of hugs to give and a fiancé to kiss! And like, I need a minute to think of a good explanation for Hunk and Pidge, I might need to kneel and beg for forgiveness but— Allura? Can you drop the sad face, _please?_ What is it with you today, uh? Did you fight with Shiro or something? I’m not dying anymore, am I?”

Lance said looking down at his bare chest, still unbruised, but Allura quickly shook her head, short hair swishing with her.

“No! Gods no, we made sure of that,” Allura said before she nodded, hand firmer around his, she looked at him marveled, “You are healthy, and alive and breathing.”

He was alive. And as long as he was alive this had been worth it. Rosa would see her child again, and now that she had child of her own she knew how much hurt she had been put through but how happy she will be to see him again, she held on to that fact, she held on to the joy Rosa would feel to see her son again, “You are safe and well, for _all_ years to come.”

Lance looked at her, after years of knowing her he knew well enough to see something was just not quite right then, not in the way she acted, not in the way she spoke, not in the way she looked at him as if he might disappear. He sighed, “Allura, what is _truly_ going on?”

Allura grasped his hands so hard it hurt, “Lance, remember all those years ago when you told me to give you five minutes of a break when you first arrived to the castle? That you were so overwhelmed by it all that you just needed five minutes to think?”

Lance just nodded unsure, “Yeah?”

“Give me those five minutes, please? And then… then I’ll explain everything. We need time, all of us need time to understand you are here, with us, _you need to understand_ that even if for you it was just yesterday we have been here just _… waiting,_ for a very, very long time Lance.”

Lance just nodded floored by her words, he squeezed her hands once, “Okay, okay, time out.”

Allura nodded gratefully, after a moment she got up slowly, back straight and a tentative smile on her face, “Time out, let’s meet the others, they had been waiting long enough, I’m actually surprised they had not torn the doors down.”  For a moment she just stood there, watching him with wonder in her eyes, her blue sky eyes looking at his disheveled hair, the way his brown skin moved under his bones and muscles, how amazing it was when he blinked at her, and how rich the tone of his voice was.

“Allura?”

She leaned down a bit, dropping a kiss on his forehead, leaving Lance completely dumbfounded before she smiled down at him, forehead pressed against his.

“Remember we love you, alright? Please remember that, Lance, _please,”_ She whispered to him, something urgent in her tone but Lance just nodded, speechless at how… motherly? Allura was acting towards him, Allura took a step back to stare at him.

“Got it, Princess, you couldn’t live without me, noted.” Lance chuckled but he was equally serious. Something was burning in his chest, something urgent was telling him to run, that something was off here, but as she moved to open the doors he just stood up beside the bed, this was his family, after all, there was nowhere else to be. So he waited for the doors to open, blue eyes as calm as the waters in Varadero Beach on a sunny day; calm, and soothing and warm.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 And that’s when the storm happened.

 

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

The first thing Lance saw was copper and green, gold, and white as something clashed against him. Hard. He oofed as he tried to keep his balance. He knew this body and he knew this warmth.

_“Lance!”_

“Hey there, Katie,” Lance smiled down at the girl in his arms who was already crying, he shushed her gently as he patted her back then his hands faltered. He blinked at her figure, she… _she had grown_ , he runs his hands down her hair and he couldn’t help to notice how long it was now, cascading down her shoulders and back, he tugged at a strand softly, voice wobbly, he sniffed, “Nice to see you again.”

“You stupid, _useless,_ fool, unwise, irresponsible jerk, reckless _idiot!!”_ She sobbed, “I missed you so much, oh my god, what _the fuck,_ Lance?” Pidge said against his neck. Yes, _neck_ because somehow she had grown enough to reach above his chest. Lance just laughed, feeling her still small body compared to his shaking against him, he tried to brush her hair out of her face, to at least try and apologize properly but she just burrowed herself deeper into his arms, chuckling he ran his hands up and down her back as she sobbed against him, allowing her to do as she wished, after all, this was better than the yells and punches he had been expecting.

He looked up when he sensed someone towering near him and then Hunk was there… and that’s when things started to become incoherent in his head again.

He had promised five minutes, no questions, but… but Pidge _had grown_ , and Hunk now had _scars_ on his arms that Lance had never seen before, he had cut his hair close to his skull and was no longer wearing his orange headband, for a moment he was unrecognizable but Hunk still had the same kind expressive chocolate eyes, so when he came near Lance managed a hesitant smile and finally the big gentle giant gave up and hugged both Pidge and Lance at the same time, lifting them off the floor.

“Lance, oh Lance, buddy, you are here, _oh my gosh,”_ Hunk said, and he was crying like a baby, and Lance found some kind of comfort in that, “I missed you, man.”

“There, there, crybabies, I’m here,” Lance said when Hunk placed them back down but still not letting go, “Same old Lance as always, golden dream team back at it again.”

Somehow his words made Pidge cry louder, Lance just hugged her tighter not understanding what was going on, and his bubbly attitude began to shatter, there was something wrong in the way Pidge was crying and the way Hunk was looking at him.

The second Allura had stepped inside the room something had been there; nagging him, but now, it was slowly but surely intensifying.

“You went inside a pod and didn’t tell us, why did you ever do that? Why _why_ why?” Pidge said against his neck through clenched teeth as if she didn’t want the words to spill and yet they did. Lance could feel the warm tears there, collecting on his skin. Hunk just stared at him with guilt and something heavier in his eyes that Lance couldn’t quite place.

“I’m… I’m so, _so_ sorry guys, I… I tried to wait but… but I wasn’t sure I was going to make it,” He lifted one hand from Pidge’s back to hold into Hunk’s left shoulder, he stared into the eyes of his friend looking for something there, “Please, _please_ forgive me, I never meant to leave you for so long, I’m so sorry.”

“You were so stupid, Lance _, so stupid man_ , but it wasn’t your fault,” Hunk said with an arm around his shoulders, glaring at something that was out of Lance’s eye line, “It wasn’t your fault,” And then he just broke up in happy hiccups as he rambled a mile a minute about what Lance wanted to eat, anything at all he would make and Lance just smiled contentedly while Pidge just held to him tightly, he pressed his cheek against her head as he half-heartedly listened to Hunk ramble.

“Never do that again, McClain, promise me, don’t leave me like this ever again, “ Pidge said low enough just for him to hear. Lance found himself nodding, something raw biting at his chest at the tone in which she spoke, leaving no room for argument, “Please, promise me.” Lance moved and kissed her temple, “I promise, Katie.”

“Okay,” She said so low that Lance was sure it wasn’t even for him to hear, as if just hearing those words were enough for her, he felt her lean against him, “Okay.”

“Hey, am I the one only left out here?”

Hunk cleaned his face from tears as he moved away to give space to Shiro, his eyes never really leaving Lance, as he grumbled something about how they totally had dibs because _they had been the ones not able to say goodbye._

Lance blinked at the amount of venom and bitterness that was laced in Hunk’s voice. Lance was almost sure he had imagined it. Hunk never talked like that, but he wasn’t able to think beyond that because then Shiro was there in front of him, Pidge, however, was eternally attached to Lance’s side apparently, and she just moved an inch to allow Shiro to hug him better, Galra hand and everything.

“Hey, Shiro.”

“I missed you, Lance.” And wow those were some words coming from Takashi Shirogane. “I missed you.” He said again, and then he felt it, the almost invisible way in which Shiro trembled, not like Hunk or Pidge, who he could feel trembling like a scared Chihuahua against him, but something just barely there, like some bottled emotion until then, he felt in his chest, the way Shiro’s voice broke when he spoke and Lance was sure, even if he was unable to see, that Shiro was probably shedding a tear or two.

Shiro. Takashi Shirogane.

Crying.

Because of him.

“Guys…” He said as he tried to move an arm around Shiro trying to give some comfort because it had only passed like three minutes and he felt like a rollercoaster of emotions. Shiro didn’t say anything besides that, but Lance was sure he was not going to be able to take anything else. Shiro just kept hugging him, his human hand petting Lance’s hair as an afterthought, like if just holding him there was making everything better. Easier. But Lance just got more troubled every second that passed.

This was not a normal reaction. From anyone.

Lance tried again, voice wobbly, “Guys, I don’t even know what is going on but I want to cry too now, _damn it!_ ”

That finally got a few watery laughs around the room.

“You fucking asshole, can’t you save the jokes for one second?” But that voice was filled with _so_ much emotion, so much fondness and affection, it was impossible for Lance to feel anything but love laced with each word when he heard it.

And Lance turned around, eager to see the face that belonged to that voice, painfully _tried_ at least, because a human koala was still attached to his hip and Takashi Shirogane, his hero and like his step Dad or something was still holding him, when Shiro felt Lance trying to move that’s when he finally chuckled and almost unwillingly released him, hands resting on his shoulders absently, his Galra hand cold against this skin but Lance didn't mind it. Aaaaand, yep, definitely a few tears there.

Lance felt floored all over again, so many emotions running around the room for him to decipher them all. He gave him a look, scar still in place and Lance found himself relieved.

“We will talk, later, alright?” Shiro said gently, pressing a hand to his shoulder as if making sure Lance was not going to leave. Lance just nodded. Shiro gently patted Pidge’s back then, signaling her to finally retreat from her spot. She whined and shook her head and Lance chuckled in her hair, eyes searching for Violet ones around the room.

“Pidge, that’s enough,” Shiro said gently but he did not try to pry her away, “There are people here who still want to talk to him.”

“No, he doesn’t get to have this,” She said cryptically as she hugged Lance tighter, almost afraid to let go, her nails bit at his skin and Lance was then awfully reminded that he was still shirtless, “He still doesn’t.”

She clung to him a second longer but Matt finally showed up again, untangling Pidge’s arms from around Lance and turning her towards him him, she quickly hid her face on her brother’s chest then. Matt nodded towards Lance and this time, after four years of seeing him frozen behind a pod, Lance finally nodded back with a shy smile.

Lance was shaking now, and it wasn’t due to the cold.

Something was screaming inside his head but he ignored it, he ignored it all because he turned and then there he was, just _two steps_ away and yet too far apart. Violet eyes were shining with tears, tears that were flowing out his eyes even if the man in front of him was trying everything to stop them.

“Lance.” He said.

Just one word. And that word was filled with so many emotions Lance could spend all his life writing a book about them.

And it was like gravity.

Like a wave crashing on a shore.

Like the warmth of the sun.

Like the light of a dying star.

It was inevitable.

 

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Lance opened his arms and that’s all Keith had ever needed.

Keith found himself there, surrounded by warmth, touched by hands he had missed, getting attacked by a smell he had forgotten, like salt, and water, and chocolate, and sun, and something definitely Lance.

Overwhelmed by the feeling of a heart beating wildly against his own chest, matching his own thudding, making the best symphony Keith had ever heard, it had been _so long_ since he had actually felt it, not the computed ‘Beep, beep, beep’ in a room, so long that he had forgotten how to accommodate his breaths along with it.

But above all things, the warmth. A _warm_ body, and warm hands tugging Keith close, a pair of arms were laced around his back almost painfully, fists bunching his shirt but Keith didn’t care. Keith just hugged him tighter, spreading his hands against the bare back of a man he had missed more than the Earth, and the moon, and all the stars in the universe together. Keith hid his face in the curve of his neck unwilling to let go.

Unwilling to spend another second without him, ever again.

“Keith.”

Keith felt as if he was breathing for the first time in eight years.

As if someone had finally pressed play on the numb and almost paralyzed life he had lead.

Keith wishes, like all those years ago, that he could stop time, take his chances and just live in this moment surrounded by everything he loved, _because he knew_ , unlike before, that things with Lance had changed, or at least will change the second they meet eyes again… but there’s one thing that Keith had to say before it was too late because for so long his heart had been just aching to say it, he had been wanting to say it over and over again for way too many days.

And that was one thing, he was certain, that wouldn’t change.

“I love you,” Keith said and finally he will be getting a response back because Lance was no longer cold, unresponsive, and frozen. _No,_ he was here. Breathing, and living, and alive, and safe, _and healthy,_ his voice broke but he didn’t give a damn, he had waited eight years to say that, and he just kept saying it against his warm skin, he relished in the way Lance’s hand trembled against his back. How Lance’s chest moved when he breathed. Keith was just marveled with the miracle that was Lance, “Oh my god, I love you, I love you _so much_ it’s ridiculous, Lance McClain, and I just-- I love you, always, siempre, siempre, siempre. Please never forget that. ”

Lance chuckled but his voice was watery, just as weak as Keith's, “Yo también, always.”

Keith took a shaky breath when the words settled in his chest, and whispered his next words, almost as a plea. “Say it again.”

“…I love you, Keith, I promised, remember? Always,” Keith just hugged him tighter and he was very aware that he was shaking, that he was leaving tears in Lance’s naked shoulder, that his hands were probably going to leave half-moons on his back, and that his heart was breaking all over again but he couldn’t stop it, not one thing.

Hell had yet to fall down and Keith was sure, _certain,_ right then and there, when Lance moved one hand to his lower back and the other to his cheek so he could stare at his face properly, that it had been worth it. All of it.

Every second of the past three thousand and twenty-four days.

All of it had been worth it.

Even the pain to come.

“Love, let me look at you, oh my god, I’m shaking?” Lance said in a whisper as he gently pressed his knuckles against Keith’s cheek but the man just refused to move from his spot on his neck. Lance chuckled as he kissed his temple, he noticed how Keith’s hair had gotten longer in the time he had been gone, now up in a short ponytail. He tugged at it gently, “New style? I like it.”

“I missed you,” Keith said against his neck, warm breath fanning over his skin, ignoring Lance's words. “I missed you every day you were gone.”

“I'm here now,” Lance couldn’t exactly say he had missed any of them, from Lance’s point of view he had just gone to sleep yesterday and today he was here again, alive and healthy. But if it there was one thing he was good at, it was reading people; he understands feelings and emotions, and he knew whatever had happened to his team in his absence had shaken them all, he was aware that he had just not been away for a day, that he had probably been away for months, he sobered at the thought that maybe he had been away from important battles, fighting Zarkon with just four lions for months now had to make a toll on his team. He being away meant Keith had spent a lot of nights alone, probably worried sick that he wouldn't find a cure.

All the tension and happiness in the room had filtered to his bones, making him understand what his absence had meant.

Even in the clash of emotions that surrounded the room, the soft chuckles, and laughs, and sniffs, and sobs, he felt loved. He had an amazing family. Lance felt a bubble of happiness in his chest.

And everything would just be perfect if his fiancé allowed him to just see his face for more than half a second.

“Keith?”

But Keith refused to let go of him, apparently completely happy to just hug Lance for all that it was worth. Lance chuckled and gave up for the time being, choosing to kiss Keth's temple again as he promised Keith that everything was okay. Keith just gave another shaky breath and hugged Lance closer as the blue Paladin turned his stare to wander around the room, looking at his team that had him surrounded, all sporting soft smiles on their faces, but the tentative, almost scared eyes still lingered, as if expecting something from him.

Lance frowned, starting to see the differences he saw in his friends as he absently rubbed his hands up and down Keith’s back.

They just… they just looked different. Hunk was bigger somehow, he had scars on his arms now that traveled from his wrist up to his arm in twisted swirls, wise and gentle eyes were staring at him, shoulders pulled firmly back. Lance realized he looked bigger not because he had grown… but because he looked _confident_ now, even if his eyes were searching his for something… he felt different. Hunk felt different.

And Lance knew him enough to know when Hunk was hiding something. And right now Hunk was filled with so much guilt Lance could almost take it from the air.

Lance pressed his hands against Keith’s back as his eyes found Allura’s.

She still looked the same as when he had gone to sleep, her hair was what gave her away, she still held herself with her chin up and royal posture, it was Shiro, though, by her side, that did look older then, he was still as broad and firm as ever, of course, that’s Takashi Shirogane to you, but… something heavy weighted on his shoulders, the marks around his eyes were now noticeable.

Marks that talked about how much he had laughed… and how much he had suffered.

Lance had never noticed them before.

His hands began shaking against Keith and they bumped against a scar Lance was sure had not been there yesterday. He opened his mouth to say something and that’s when his sight settled on Pidge, who had stopped hiding her face in Matt’s chest.

That’s when Lance’s hands stopped stroking Keith’s back.

Everything was silent.

“Oh my god,” Lance whispered and Keith just hugged him tighter.

“Please forgive me, please forgive me, Lance,” Keith whispered but Lance was not hearing, only able to stare at the _no longer_ little girl standing there.

Lance could’ve sworn that could not have been Pidge if he hadn’t known those eyes.

Pidge had not only grown… she was a woman now. The softness in her face had vanished, now she was all sharp angles, she was so incredibly pretty, she was breathtaking. Her caramel eyes were no longer framed by glasses, and the worn out jeans and yellow and green striped jersey did nothing to hide her lean body, she was still young but… there’s no way, _no way_ she had grown so much in a year. Lance absently raised a hand to touch her face, but she was still out of reach.

 _“Pidge,”_ He almost choked on his words.

She looked at his extended hand and after a painful moment of time, she finally walked to him, closer until she was able to be within reach, allowing him to caress her cheek. There, on her left-side cheek, was a burn scar in the form of a broken star, making her otherwise flawless skin a bit paler on that spot. She pressed her cheek to his hand, silent tears raining down her eyes, she closed her eyes firmly, lips quivering.

 _“Look at me,”_ Lance said urgently, because his mind couldn’t connect how the little girl that he had left behind was now this… this… _this human_ in front of him. It felt wrong.

“Lance,” And her whole body shook when she saw how astonished and hurt he was. He met her eyes with a million questions Pidge didn’t want to answer, “Lance, _I’m so sorry.”_

Lance started to look around, hand lingering on her face as his panicked eyes found Allura’s.

“Allura’s time out,” He whispered, “Time’s out.”

Allura just pressed her hands against her chest unable to find the words, Lance looked back at Pidge who was biting her lip to the point of making it bleed. Lance dropped his hands and tried to push Keith away. Something urgent clawing at his chest as he tried to untangle himself from Keith, Keith just held him tighter, but Lance this time pushed harder and the silent war ended. Keith allowed Lance to pull him away just a few inches, enough to see his face.

And Lance _, finally_ , understood.

Because there’s something very telling about time, and that’s that it always leaves traces behind. Even if sometimes you don’t quite see it, not when love is clouding your mind, but it was that same love what made Lance realize what was wrong here. It was the love he held for Keith that made him realize that this Keith in front of him wasn’t the same Keith he had left not yesterday, not a year ago… but way, _way_ longer than that.

The loneliness in Keith’s eyes was telling enough.

“Keith?” And Lance’s voice broke entirely. Keith just allowed Lance’s hands to wander freely around his face, almost afraid of touching him, finally, they gingerly settled on each side of his face, fingers curling around his ears. Keith’s eyes were shining with tears, he took a shuddering breath when Lance out of habit cleaned his tears gently with his thumbs.

“It’s me, Love, is still me.”

But Lance was shaking his head, huge blue eyes going wide in denial because there was _nothing_ he could recognize in that face anymore, _“_ No, no, _no,_ this is _all wrong,_ no _.”_

Keith looked older… and was he taller? No, no, no.

Keith’s stuttered breath caught in his lungs. Wrong?

“Love—”

“What—what happened to you? To all of you?” Lance said as he now looked at his friends. They… he looked at the pod in panic before looking at Keith again who still had his hands on his hips, tugging him close, painfully reminding Lance he was awake, that this was happening. _“What… what happened to me?”_

Lance passed a hand over Keith’s neck, there was a new scar there that disappeared down his collar that Lance had not known about, his hair was longer now, way longer than he remembers and it was tucked in a low ponytail, he circled a hand around it before his eyes trailed down Keith’s left cheek following a scar that made a shaky line down his temple to his jaw, the soft pink line clear against his pale skin.

No longer bleeding, no longer painful, not recent. It looked faded with time.

From a long, long time ago.

Keith was not looking at him and Lance got angry, he placed his finger under his chin, forcing him to look at him.

Violet eyes found Blue ones and Lance’s breath caught in his throat.

 _“No…”_ Lance said in misery because this was not the same eyes he had loved so much. The eyes he had loved were happy, and sometimes angry, and sometimes they held so much love it was painful to look at them, there were intelligent and always observant, always aware. And Lance was always able to read them. These eyes? They were haunted, _old_ as if they had seen many days filled with sorrow. They were filled with so many emotions Lance couldn’t begin to decipher them, let alone know what the man in front of him was thinking.

Lance really couldn’t breathe.

And this time all the happiness in the room left, the bubbly feelings, the quiet laughs, the shy smiles. Everything vanished.

Suddenly everyone in the room felt as strangers to him, suddenly the things he had come to see as familiarity vanished when he focused on all the things that were new. His heart didn’t break with the news, his mind did, somehow Lance’s heart had understood waaaay before than it took his mind to grasp reality, that’s why his eyes were watery and his voice shaky but yet he _insisted on asking._

“Keith… Keith you promised, you promised _one_ year,” He said trying to search for something in those eyes, desperate, “ _You promised me.”_

Keith held his gaze for a second longer before he closed them and hung his head, hands shaking on Lance’s hips and Lance glanced around the room, looking for answers, Pidge was silently crying again as Hunk kept muttering under his breath to please forgive them, Coran had just been silent during the entire exchange and kept being silent when Lance stared at him.

Lance was shaking now and his voice broke.

“How long—oh my god, _how long—“_ Lance said as he looked at Shiro, but somehow Shiro was just staring at Keith for this, eyes watering at seeing Lance like this.

“Lance, please.”

 “What the fuck, guys?!” Lance tried to think for a damned second, but nothing in his mind and memories could fix what his eyes were seeing, “I— I will understand, not a year, I— I get it… I get it… but…”

He understood Allura’s words now. _Things_ had happened. No, not things. _Time_ had happened. He looked at the wrinkles around Shiro’s eyes again.

“Two years?” He whispered but if Hunk’s small whine was anything to go by he was very wrong.

He looked at Pidge that now could reach his neck, Pidge with long hair… so beautiful breathtaking. Eyes filled with that intelligence of hers but now more mature. Not even a shade of naivety left on her body. she had the keen and intelligent eyes of a hardened soldier, even if they held warm and love and kindness.

He felt something in his chest heavily settled then.

Three years? Four?

He gasped; finally pulling away from Keith whose hands followed his form but didn’t dare to go after him as Lance took a step back from the picture. Lance stood his ground, hands shaking against his side as he looked at them.

And somehow seeing them together side by side made it for him. How… how different they all were. He made a deep sound.

“Lance?” Violet eyes were painfully following Lance’s form. Lance didn’t deign to answer him.

Blue Ocean eyes looking at each and all of them, all the little differences that spokes volumes and then back at the pod.

The pod where he had seen Altean kids.

“Oh my god,” Lance said horrified, broken because this wasn’t happening, _it couldn’t be happening_. He had been just there yesterday, damn it! He looked at Shiro and Allura, side by side, not even holding hands but _Jesus Christ_ —it was as if Shiro moved around Allura as if she was the sun… and the marks… the beautiful blue eyes and the black hair and the kind smiles and the familiar warmth—he had known, hadn’t he?

The second he had stepped outside the pod. He had known. His heart _had known_ , that’s why he had been shaking, that’s why he had been pushing the thoughts away, that’s why even when he could’ve gone to his room he had stayed inside the medical bay, and that’s why he had been barely able to process.

His heart had known. But as always, his mind was two steps behind. And now he finally understood.

“ _Oh my god.”_

Five years, six?

He stared at his family, at his friends, that now Lance couldn’t help but see and get fixed on all the things that made them strangers. They were all looking at him with tears in their eyes and with something so close to quiet acceptance it was pathetic, as if they were waiting for an outcome but were not going to be surprised by the verdict.

 “Lance,” Keith was trying and Lance raised his hands to his hair, pulling softly, silencing him with a look.

“How— how long, just— Jesus. Kids?! Those kids… oh my God…. Shit shit shit, _you had kids,”_ Lance’s brain is breaking, tears escaping his eyes against his will as he looked at Allura, “You are a Mom, Allura?! You…. _You and Shiro?!”_

“Lance,” Shiro tried, voice wobbly, “Lance please, sit down for this, you need… you will need time, we—“

“You _had_ kids while I was… and and—How old are they?” He snapped, “Allura time is fucking out, _how old are they!”_

“Lance, bud, just, let’s breathe alright?” Hunk said walking towards him, eyes imploring, he was crying now,  “We know this is a lot but—“

“Is _one_ fucking question!!” Lance said losing his temper, confusion mixing with anger because everybody wanted him to calm down when he literally couldn’t, “Una sola pregunta, Dios mio!! _You owe me this!”_

“Four!” Pidge finally screamed and the rest looked at her as if she had broken some important rule. Lance let all the air in his lungs go, feeling his anger slip away with it. He had not been prepared for that answer. “They are four, Lance.”

Lance nodded, hands going through his hair again, kids, Altean kids, Altean-Human kids. Matt was here. Allura and Shiro were together, they were parents for god’s sake.

“Four years? I lost _four years?!”_ He whispered in terror.

And the silence that followed was so horribly loud Lance felt his blood run cold. He stared at his faces, shaking his head, voice completely broken.

 _“Oh my god,”_ Lance took one step back, and then another, before he was running to his pod, almost falling on his way there, still barefoot, still hoping against hope that he would wake up in another reality, he leaned heavily against it when he reached it, his hands shook as he tried to remember how the pods were supposed to work.

“Lance, stop it!” That was Keith but Lance was already opening the files on the last log there.

Lance saw the numbers but they were so high he couldn’t process them.

“What…. What…” And he felt as if something inside him was leaving him, crushing him, the word _impossible_ loud in his head but soon Keith was there, turning him away from the pod, making him realize that yes, this was happening. It was real.

“Lance, you need—”

Lance took his chance and clasped Keith’s shoulders hard enough to hurt, they were way broader than they used to be, suddenly everything about Keith was so different it was heartbreaking. 

“Cuántos años Kogane _, uh?_ How many years did you break our promise? And don’t fucking tell me to sit down or breathe, I’m going to fucking kill someone, just _tell me, for the love of God,_ you owe me this, Keith, how many years was I—“

“Eight years!” Keith screamed and yet Lance heard it dull against his ears, tears were cascading down the Red Paladin’s face as Lance stared at him in shock, suddenly unable to speak another word. When Keith spoke his voice as low, and his words slow, like if each word was physically hurting him. “Eight years, Lance. You were inside a pod eight years, and we were here. Waiting. Three thousand and twenty-four days for you to come back.”

The silence that followed was so heavy that it could break people and no one needed to say anything to know the human there, too shocked to move, was breaking right in front of them.

When ocean eyes met violet eyes again, Keith— just like all those years ago when Allura had told Lance he had Cancer— saw realization slowly hit Lance. Unhurriedly, like a warm wave in Varadero Beach on a calm rainy day. And then the wave crashed in the shore.

And just like that, Keith also knew, just like he knew the exact color of Lance’s eyes in the rays of the sun, how he finds him in a crowd in seven seconds, how pale his skin looks behind a glass, how steady his heart beats in a computer program. How he knows, by now, four hundred different sunsets in which none of them Lance had been there. How he knew every word back and forth in the book Lance had left him with.

He knew, with the same certain accuracy in which he knew he would always love Lance... he knew Lance would never forgive him for this.

Lance would never forgive him for as long as _he lived._

And Keith had been prepared for this, or so he had thought because suddenly he couldn’t breathe. Lance didn’t need to say anything for Keith to understand when suddenly Lance vaulted out the room.

_How could you do this to me?_

_You promised._

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Lance was alone on Blue’s hangar.

The second everything had been too much for him for both his heart and soul, he had run to the only safe heaven he had always known on space: Blue. His body gravitating towards her without a second thought, his mind was still processing what had happened but his legs carried him steadily towards the only thing that he wanted to keep his mind focused on; Blue, her Lady Blue that he had abandoned for… for…

Just thinking about the number made him sick. It was impossible.

Impossible and yet…

When he had vaulted out the room he had heard Pidge’s screams and loud steps behind him, he knew at least her and Hunk had tried to follow him, but he was faster… he had always been, and so he had managed to lose them, making his way to Blue’s hangar, instantly securing himself behind the massive metal doors, hiding away. Placing a wall between himself and whatever reality this was.

He turned his back on the doors, gasping from the effort, and he finally rested his eyes on her, her particle barrier still up, and she held herself tall and beautiful as the last time he had seen her.

“Blue?” He said, and it was as if Blue had just woken up for him and him alone because her eyes shined yellow a tick later, letting the barrier fall down, and with it the ocean of emotions Lance could neatly identify as if her feelings were his. Soon Lance was running towards her.

He finally _felt_ her, cold and bubbly, as she always was, his entire mind felt surrounded by hers, soothing the invisible wounds that a pod could never heal, her consciousness and sparkly sentient being was something very welcomed in this moment of turmoil. Lance felt as if he could finally breathe properly since he had woken up. Blue quickly lowered her head to meet him properly and Lance hugged her, shivering when his still naked chest collided with her cold structure but he didn’t care, spreading his arms as far as they could go.

“Blue, Blue, Blue.” Lance was chanting as Blue welcomed him back as if he had never left, he could feel her, just as he used to do when he stepped inside the pod, her mind colliding with his, raid euphoric thoughts mingling with his, he didn’t know which excitement belongs to whom, which rapid babble belonged to whom.

She felt like home.

She understood without him having to say anything.

“Oh Blue,” Lance cried against her, and Blue purred, nudging him slightly with the most caring touch. He felt her questions as well as her cold but comforting presence engulf him as if to reassure him, trying to protect him from whatever that was causing him pain.

Unlike the rest, she had not changed, not one bit. She was his and he was hers. And in that horrible moment, he allowed himself to breathe and give up. He crumbled against her, he was cold and he was still hungry and his mind hurt, and his chest was heavy, and he felt soulless.

He sobbed harder, just thinking about Keith made his heart ache and he wanted to be able to numb the feeling. He knew all the answers to his questions where outside the barricade he had constructed, he knew, but he didn’t have the energy to face reality again.

So he didn’t leave Blue.

He didn’t for a whole day.

Blue talked with him, reassured him like a mom would his child. Blue was his best friend, his Lady Blue, and she understood. When Lance cried inside her as he made himself comfortable in her seat, a heavy warm blanket around him, she listened. And when he grumbled about Keith’s doings, how dare he take decisions that were not his to take, how dare he do this to him; to his partner, in life and in battle, she listened, and he had to change topic because just _thinking_ about Keith made him want to either sob harder or go and punch him, and he wasn’t doing any of that if he could help it, and when she talked about Shiro and Allura _and their kids_ for fucks’ sake, she listened. He talked about how soft they were, how little, how cute and how much he missed his family on earth. How Hunk had scars now in his arms… and that Lance was scared to ask. How Pidge had grown while he had been gone.

When he complained, when he cried, when he ranted, she listened.

Lance told him all about the differences he found in them, about the strangers he had met, about how angry and confused he was.

He had been quiet then, mentally placing each face he knew with the new ones, marking all the differences he had seen. Blue waited patiently with him, for his questions ready to give him the answers he needed. She was there, giving her his undivided attention.

It was many, many hours later, when he asks her to fill him up with what had happened in eight years.

“Eight years blue…” Lance had whispered against her metal board, “Can that be possible?”

_Time is relative to me, little cub, I have been here for thousands of years…. but in humans terms… yes, Lance, you were gone eight years._

“So…” He said, pathetically trying to hold a sob by biting his lip, “Me leaving was just… like a blink to you, right? A second in the great schemes of things.”

_Every day was like a new eternity, Lance. Just because is relative doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. Losing you hurt me just as much as it did when you said goodbye._

“So… what… what happened in e-eight years?” Lance whispered, terrified.

And Blue told him. Not everything. Not quite enough. But he told him how much she had missed him, how Keith and Hunk had taken care of her while he was gone. How Pidge had gifted her with an invisible armor. How much he missed his sometimes reckless maneuvers. How beautiful Earth was. How Voltron had survived without him, how, after more than a year after he had been gone, she had chosen Allura was her new Paladin.

Lance tried not to feel betrayed at the thought. Allura? A Paladin? _Blue’s_ Paladin?

Does that mean… Was he expendable now?

Blue spent a whole hour reassuring him that no, no he wasn’t, and now that he was here she expected nothing more than for him to be her Paladin again.

_I waited one thousand years not to find Allura, Lance, but to find you. It was you who brought the team together to space, and I think that without you here… the team fell apart too._

Lance slept in her cockpit that day.  

He told Blue he didn’t want to leave.

Blue told him he could stay for as long as he wished. She will keep the bay closed, she would keep him safe.

And still, even with exhaustion clinging to his bones, Lance couldn’t sleep. Too scared to fall asleep and too scared to stay awake, that’s when he heard something humming on the cockpit, slow at first that Lance thought his mind was playing tricks with him but then a bit louder and clearer. Lance sat up softly as he eyed the place around.

“Is that… music?”

Blue was playing soft music to help him sleep, music mixed with… _was that—?_ Lance looked around, sitting straighter in his chair and looking around the cockpit… they had not left, he was certain, but was he hearing correctly? That was… _was this—?_

Rain. He could hear droplets hitting the glass, the soft movement of the grass with the wind and the sound of thunder on the horizon as if he was right under a stormy sky on Earth.

If Lance closed his eyes he could find himself there. It took him a while to speak again.

“You… you recorded this?” 

_When I was on Earth. It reminded me of you._

Earth…

He closed his eyes, he knew there was much more to that story. Why had Blue been on Earth, to begin with? But he didn’t want to think anymore. Not about Earth, not about Voltron, not about Keith, and not about his family that had _left him_ behind by _eight years._

Eight years.

Maybe if he went to sleep he would wake up in his bed, with a twenty one year old version of Keith Kogane, with a short haired Pidge with glasses, with a Shiro and Allura still dancing around each other, too shy to even hold hands, with Hunk, his best friend, unharmed, scarless, with an orange bandana wrapped around his forehead.

_Sleep, little one._

The sound of the rain mingled with the same music Lance had installed in her eight years ago, he couldn’t recall the name of the artist, he had never been able to remember it, but it was something with a soft raw voice, filled with sentiment, and Lance finally fell asleep to the sound of the rain and with Blue to watch over him.

Maybe if he wished hard enough, he wouldn’t wake up at all.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

 

I wake up more awake than I've ever been before.  
Still I'm pinned under the weight  
Of what I believed would keep me safe.  
So show me where my armor ends,  
Show me where my skin begins.  
Like a final puzzle piece  
It all makes perfect sense to me…  
The heaviness that I hold in my heart belongs to gravity.  
The heaviness that I hold in my heart's been crushing me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU FOR READING.
> 
> The song Lance was hearing was Saturn from Sleeping at Last. I heard the whole album on repeat for five hours to write this chapter. The fact that the album is named after the solar system just made it all the more epic.
> 
> What do you think? Do you think he acted accordingly? A few wondered if he would be happy, scared, confused, angry. And I think Lance would be actually all of the above. Happy in the meantime that he didn’t know what had gone down… then confused. A LOT. Imagine going to sleep and waking up EIGHT YEARS IN THE FUTURE. He’s scared and confused and of course he wants to be away, just to have time to think. To go and find the only thing that had not changed, to give his brain time to actually come to terms with reality.
> 
> But After sadness and confusion always comes anger. Keep that in mind.
> 
> Aaaaand, after all, we will be having just one more chapter, since I found that how Lance’s life goes on should be a separated chapter, with all the pros and cons of him being alive comes with. 
> 
> Spoiler alert: It’s going to hurt. A LOT. But it will be alright in the end (: (However, now I’m still not so sure how? My boy's is too hurt damn it, even IM having trouble with how to make that happen). 
> 
> AND KENSHIN'S, DONT KILL ME, AT THE LAST MOMENT I ADDED THE FINAL PART I WENT WITH THE FLOW. I READ IT 5 TIMES. I HOPE I DID NOT MAKE ANY MISTAKES OMG.

**Author's Note:**

> If you read this bible, thank you, The Universe loves you!


End file.
